Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
FALLON
He had absolutely no idea what Gage was upset about, but he also knew it was something gutting because Fallon had a feeling that it took a lot to make Gage shatter like that.
He didn’t know him well, but he’d always had a good sense for people. He’d been drawn to Gage since meeting him in the hallway the night Charlie attacked him, and as much as he knew he was in no place to start anything, he also couldn’t seem to stay away from the other man.
He found excuses to go over to Frankie’s house, knowing that there was a good chance Gage would be at Lucas’s, and he was.
For a while. And then he stopped turning up.
Fallon thought maybe he missed the chance to get to know him better and take him up on the offer to learn D&D, but then Gage had spotted him walking to his car after a shoot and had run over to chat.
Now, Fallon was cradling him in his arms, listening to an info dump about Magic: The Gathering, even though he’d lied and said he was unfamiliar with it.
In truth, Fallon knew the game inside and out.
He’d never played it, but Fenton had been into it for years, and a bit like osmosis, Fallon had absorbed it.
Gage didn’t need to know that though. And with each sentence he spoke, the tremble in his voice started to fade, and his body had relaxed.
“…and that was how I built my fairy deck. It’s probably my favorite, though I don’t win with it that often.” Gage stopped, then laughed. “Sorry, I can’t believe I just spent an hour talking about cards.”
Fallon shook his head and shifted back a little, glancing up into Gage’s eyes. They were so brown and so pretty. He had short lashes, but they were very, very dark, and he had a single freckle in the corner of his left eye.
He lifted a hand and traced his nose. It was round at the tip, and beneath it was a very well-defined cupid’s bow. His lips were full, and his jawline was sharp, making his face heart-shaped. Fallon could have stared at him for hours.
He could have taken a thousand pictures in every single pose he could think of and not get tired of looking at him.
“Are you Chinese? Do you even know since you were adopted?”
Gage blinked, and Fallon felt his cheeks go white-hot.
“Sorry. God, that was super rude, wasn’t it?”
Gage snorted and shook his head. “I mean, it’s better than asking, ‘Hey, bruh, what are you?’”
Fallon wrinkled his nose. “People say that?”
“And worse.” He was quiet for a beat, then said, “But, uh…yeah, so I did a DNA thing in one of my classes years ago. I was thinking about becoming a forensic detective.”
Fallon’s brows rose. “A cop?”
Gage shrugged and tried to hide a small grin. “I was really into detective shows when I was younger. Anyway, I was given the chance to get a full workup done. Not like that ancestry shit that’s stealing everyone’s data.”
Fallon had no idea what he was talking about, but that happened to him a lot. He was distracted by his own special interests enough to ignore what everyone else was doing. “Because you were adopted?”
“Yeah. I was curious. It was a closed adoption, and my dad didn’t get any of my records. I always kind of wondered about my biological parents, but for a long time, I didn’t want to know. I thought it might change the way I felt about my dad.”
“Did it?”
Gage shook his head, his face softening.
“I always felt like…like there was a space inside me that would never be filled because that was the space meant for my birth family. But it wasn’t big enough to consume me.
My dad had me in group therapy for adoptees when I was a kid.
He thought my shitty attitude was because of that.
And while I did totally have trauma, it turns out my shit attitude was a nice, healthy dose of untreated anxiety from undiagnosed ADHD. ”
Fallon wrinkled his nose. “Was the group therapy thing hard?”
“It was interesting. Some kids were chill. Some kids were angry. I had a pretty solid family, so it didn’t bother me enough to feel like I needed to trauma dump, you know?
” He took a breath. “Anyway, the tests came back that I was mostly Italian with a tiny bit of German on my dad’s side, and Korean and Chinese on my mom’s side. ”
Fallon reached out to touch him again, scraping his fingers through the scruff on his cheeks. It was a little sharp, but it felt good. “How did it make you feel?”
“Fine,” Gage answered. “I mean, I knew I was Asian. My friends used to take bets which country my parents were from, but I stopped talking to a lot of them way before I got the answers.”
“Did it help? Knowing the results?”
Gage let out a soft breath. “Yeah, in a way. I mean, it didn’t tell me who they were or anything, but it was nice to know where I came from.
And sometimes, when I got bored, I’d make up stories in my head about how my bio parents met.
Like…like my dad was on a journey to find himself and went to Beijing, where he met my mom.
She was a student. Her parents were forbidden lovers—like Romeo and Juliet, except no one died, and they had a baby instead.
And then my parents met and had one glorious night before my dad had to go back to Rome.
He never knew about me, and my mom decided that the really kind man from a small town in the US would be the best dad for me. ”
Fallon grinned as his touch drew down the side of Gage’s neck. “You should write books.”
Laughing, Gage shook his head. “I’ve thought about it, but my brain won’t ever let me sit for that long. It took me three months to write out my first campaign. I think I’d probably be writing my first book for the rest of my life.”
“You have a way with words though,” Fallon said softly. “I’d like to hear more of your stories sometime.”
Gage’s ears reddened. “They’re not that good. Trust me, I get a lot of complaints about my campaigns.”
“People are probably lying because you intimidate them. You should embrace your talent,” Fallon countered. “Don’t let people convince you to make yourself small because they’re full of envy.”
Licking his lips, Gage pushed up on his elbow and stared down at him, making Fallon’s heart race. “I hope you do the same.”
“I try.” It was the truth. He just left out the part where he didn’t try that hard. Where he kept failing at it, and it was easier to give up.
Gage hummed softly and leaned forward, resting his head against the side of Fallon’s neck. The pressure of it was perfect. No, it was more than perfect. It was making him feel things. It was making him want things.
Fallon wasn’t the most sexually experienced man on the planet, but he’d had plenty of casual sex before Charlie had come around. For a while, in fact, he thought casual was the only kind of sex he’d ever get to have. No one seemed to want to stick around longer than a night.
And those that did didn’t want to stick around longer than two.
So maybe this wouldn’t be the worst idea, starting a little something with Gage. Maybe they could do it—scratch an itch—and get it out of their system.
Then they could be friends.
Or something like it.
But Fallon had never been brave enough to make the first move. He’d done it once—and only once. It hadn’t gone well, and he would never make that mistake again.
He’d rather die alone than have someone look at him with disgust because his body was the way it was.
“You okay?”
Fallon blinked. “Yes?”
“You haven’t said anything for, like, five minutes,” Gage murmured.
Fallon bit the inside of his cheek to temper his embarrassment.
“Sorry. I got lost in my head. I was thinking about…” He hesitated.
Normally, he just said whatever was on his mind, especially if he was comfortable.
But he had to remind himself he didn’t know Gage all that well just because the man fit in his life in ways most strangers never could.
And never would.
“About what?” Gage urged.
“Having sex.”
Gage jolted. “I—oh.”
Fallon’s heart sank to his feet. There was something about Gage’s tone that told him he’d fucked up. He went too far. That all this cuddling was meant to be that. Platonic. The rest was unwanted. “Sorry. S-sorry, I—”
“Fallon,” Gage said, holding on when Fallon tried to scramble off the couch. “Wait. Wait. Please.”
Fallon froze, his breath heaving in his chest. He hated feeling embarrassed. He fucking hated when he got it all wrong.
“Relax, and please don’t apologize. It’s not you.”
He snorted. “Right. It’s never me.”
Gage softened, and after a single moment of hesitation, he reached up and pushed his fingers into Fallon’s hair. The scrape of blunt nails across his scalp was so soothing, he went boneless. If he were a cat, he would have started purring.
“That’s better,” Gage murmured. The words would have been patronizing coming from someone else. Coming from Gage, they were different. “Good. Breathe for me. In and out.”
He was breathing. Easier than he’d been able to all night.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Mm”
Gage was quiet for a beat. Then, “Were you thinking about having sex with me?”
Fallon licked his lips, then decided he might as well be honest. He didn’t think Gage would react poorly. And if he rejected him, he’d do it in the nicest way possible. “Yes. I like you. You’re very sexy, and it turns me on, and I’d like that.”
Gage huffed a breath, but his fingers didn’t still. “I think you’re very sexy too.”
“You don’t need to say that just because I—”
“I’m not just saying it,” Gage responded quickly, cutting him off.
“I’ve been wildly attracted to you since I met you.
I didn’t say anything because it felt like fucked-up timing with Charlie.
Then I didn’t say anything because I’m in a really bad place and would make the world’s shittiest boyfriend. ”