Chapter 2 #3
His thighs began to spasm at the sensations rushing through him, tingling from his knees to his toes, and he tried to force his body to relax, but it wouldn’t. He was on a knife’s edge. The orgasm that was waiting for him would ruin him. Destroy him. Consume him.
It would be different and better and maybe even a little worse than anything he’d ever felt before.
And fuck, he wanted it.
Gage’s mouth opened wider as his tongue swirled around Fallon’s dick, and his fingers pushed deeper, the wet, slick sound filling the room as he fucked his ass. Fallon’s mouth fell open in a silent cry as he felt the first wave, and by the second, he couldn’t see.
By the third crashing pulse, he couldn’t breathe.
He was coming so hard he thought he might die from it.
But before it was too much, before he could lose himself, the feeling began to subside, and he became profoundly aware of Gage’s face lying between his legs, come dribbling down his chin.
His eyes were closed, and every few seconds, he turned and laid a stubble-rough kiss against Fallon’s inner thigh.
With trembling hands, Fallon reached for him, tugging him up over his chest, then down for a kiss. Gage made a noise of surprise, but he gave in, carefully dipping his tongue between Fallon’s parted lips.
It was soft, musky, and so fucking tender he wanted to cry. His emotions felt raw, and he didn’t have words. His insides were now wet, ragged bits that once resembled the soul of a man. But the feeling wasn’t bad.
He just wasn’t sure what to do with it.
“Do you want to come?” he asked instead of addressing all of that.
Gage laughed softly and nodded. “Yeah, babe. I really do. You okay with that? Because if you want me to stop—”
“I don’t want you to stop. I want you to feel good,” Fallon said.
Gage went silent for a second, then nodded.
“Alright. Come here.” He twisted his body and used his strong hands to arrange Fallon so they were lying on the couch face-to-face.
“Like this,” Gage said as he helped Fallon stretch his legs out.
He reached behind him and swiped the lube from the floor, then smeared a dollop over his fingers before coating his hard cock.
Fallon couldn’t help but stare at it—the way it was short but fat and flushed dark, wet at the tip like he’d been leaking precome all over.
“Spread your legs for me,” Gage murmured. “Yeah, just like that. God, you are so fucking good.”
Fallon shuddered. Hard. This wasn’t his first partner who liked to praise him, but this was the first person who made Fallon believe those words.
Like it wasn’t just a kink. Like it was honest. Like Gage meant all the things he was saying—that he’d say them even if they weren’t naked and thrusting against each other.
He closed his eyes for a second, and his fingertips began to trace over Gage’s chest, stopping when he found the rings in his nipples. “Hurts?”
“No,” Gage said very softly. “Feels good. Do you like that kind of touch?”
Fallon shrugged, then shook his head. “Can’t feel much since my surgery.” He had keyhole scars beside his nipples, which had slightly distorted the shape of them, but not by much. He loved looking at himself in the mirror now that his chest was flat.
But it had come with the price of losing sensation there.
It was worth it, of course. All of what he’d gone through was worth it.
Gage hummed, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to Fallon’s neck, right under his ear. He shivered and groaned, his dick throbbing, though he knew another orgasm would be too much. Gage seemed to understand because he didn’t go for Fallon’s dick this time.
Instead, he wrapped his fingers around his hip, and then he slipped his cock between Fallon’s thighs.
The sensation was warm and slick. Strange, but not bad. In fact, it was better than not bad.
“I like this,” Fallon said.
Gage pulled back to look at him. “Yeah?”
“I like your body.”
Gage laughed quietly and shrugged. “It hasn’t let me down so far and does all the things I need it to.”
Fallon scoffed and tightened his thigh muscles, making Gage gasp. Oh, he liked that too. He liked that very much. The fact that he could bring Gage the kind of pleasure the other man had just given him made him feel lightheaded.
“Shit, yes. Yes. Like that.”
Fallon squeezed down harder, and Gage shuddered and began to fuck his thighs faster. And then Fallon put a hand on his chest. “Can you be inside me? Just for a second?”
Gage looked like his world had flipped upside down. He looked like he wanted that. More than fucking anything. “It’ll take me a moment to get you stretched.”
Fallon shook his head, then took Gage’s hand and brought it to his front hole. “Here. Just…just here. Just for a second. I’m going to come, and I want to do it around you.”
Gage closed his eyes and shuddered as he fingered the hole. Fallon was slick and soft inside. “Just for a second,” he repeated. “I won’t come.”
“I know. I trust you,” Fallon said.
That was a heavy weight, but he knew Gage wasn’t going to spit in the face of that gift. He lifted Fallon’s leg and met his gaze as he felt his cock graze his hole. Then he gave a single thrust and he was in. He was hot—throbbing deep inside, squeezing around Gage tightly.
“You feel so fucking good. All of you is so fucking good, Fallon.”
“Yeah. Yes.” Fallon shuddered and clenched around him. “I might come again. If I do, you won’t—will you?”
“I can hold it,” Gage said, and then he sucked in his breath and held it as he reached between them to squeeze his balls, like he was keeping his orgasm at bay. It was so fucking erotic, Fallon writhed on his cock. His insides went tight, then spasmed, and then he was coming again.
“Oh God. Oh God,” Fallon gasped.
Gage’s dick kicked, and he quickly pulled out, replacing it with his fingers so Fallon could finish. After a beat, Fallon’s eyes opened, and he stared, breathless.
“We shouldn’t do that again.”
Gage nodded and turned his hand to his cock, stroking it. “Can I finish between your thighs?”
Fallon opened his legs again, then closed them around Gage’s dick and squeezed his muscles tightly in answer.
Gage’s eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. “Yeah. Yeah, gorgeous. Fucking hell. Fuck, fuck. I’m so close. I’m going to come all over you, baby. I’m gonna coat your thighs and make a fucking mess out of you.”
Fallon’s words died in the back of his throat as a new kind of pleasure washed over him. He was hot, tingling, full of a want he’d never experienced before. He never wanted this to stop. Not ever.
The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping skin, and as Fallon lost himself in the rhythm, he felt Gage’s cock thicken, and then he shuddered, grunted hard, and buried his face in Fallon’s neck as he came.
His arms tightened around Fallon so hard he lost his breath for a second, and then Gage let go and collapsed into his chest.
Fallon was rarely the big spoon—the man who gave comfort. He was short and small, and people tended to assume that meant he couldn’t be that partner.
Except Gage curled into him and allowed himself to be held, and Fallon realized if he wasn’t careful, he would get addicted to this. He would want things he had no business wanting right now.
After a short forever, Gage’s breathing began to deepen, and he pulled back, cupping Fallon’s cheek. “That was amazing.”
“Mm.”
“I hope it wasn’t bad for you.”
Fallon shook his head. Logically, he knew he should be careful with what he said. Giving people too much power had never gone well for him. But in spite of his experience, and in spite of his logic, he trusted Gage.
“That was the best I’ve ever felt. No one…” He stopped, his voice a little thick. He was a little too worked up, and his emotions were all right at the surface.
“Hey,” Gage murmured, holding him a little tighter. “We don’t have to talk about this. Trust me when I say understand that sex is complicated.”
Fallon shook his head back and forth, rubbing his nose along the top of Gage’s head.
He smelled so good. “Being gay and trans is hard. The guys who do want to sleep with me tend to see me as…you know…not a man. And then they either try too hard or not enough. Or they ignore it and get off as fast as they can, which makes me feel used.”
Gage let out a shaking breath. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t.”
“No. You were the first one who made me feel…like myself.” Fallon licked his lips, then turned his gaze toward the door. He needed to leave soon. If this kept up any longer, he was going to trip and fall into something he wasn’t ready for.
No matter how much he wanted it. He needed to wait.
And as much as he was afraid waiting too long would give Gage the chance to meet someone else and find his happiness without Fallon, it was for the best.
“This meant a lot to me,” Gage said after a long while.
Fallon sighed against Gage’s thick black hair, then said, “Would you think I was a monster if I asked you to take me home right now?”
Gage popped up and looked him in the eye. “So long as it’s not because you wanted to hit it and quit it—”
“Oh my God.”
Gage grinned widely at him, his eyes crinkled in the corners. “What?”
“You’re a nerd.” Fallon touched his jaw. “I like that about you.”
“Come on,” Gage said, rolling off him. He held both hands out, and Fallon took them. “You can use my shower if you want, and then I can drive you. I have to work at the ass crack of dawn anyway, so it’s probably better this way.”
Fallon could hear tension in his voice, and he knew then that Gage was scared this really did mean nothing.
But he couldn’t tell him the truth. Gage was vulnerable too.
Whatever happened to him tonight, Fallon knew it was big, and he also knew all people tended to run from big feelings.
Even if they pretended they weren’t doing exactly that.
But he would go forward with hope that even if he lost this, he wouldn’t lose Gage as a friend.
The drive back to Fallon’s was quiet. It was a temporary apartment not too far from Frankie’s, which he appreciated. It was new, and all the smells were still strange, but it was also a place he hadn’t shared with Charlie, which made it a lot easier to sleep at night.
Gage pulled up to the curb, and Fallon was grateful he didn’t try to get out and walk him up to the door because Fallon knew he’d lose his battle with self-control and invite him in. Instead, Gage leaned over the console and took Fallon by the chin.
“Can I have a kiss good night?”
“Yes.”
The kiss was soft and easy. Undemanding. A sort of goodbye that wasn’t as painful as it could have been.
“Thank you for this,” Gage said quietly as he pulled back. “For tonight. It helped.”
Fallon nodded, his lashes fanning downward as he looked at where Gage’s fingers were playing with his own. He didn’t want this to stop. He wanted to beg Gage to promise him they could pick up where they were leaving off the moment they were ready.
But Fallon knew better than to ask something so unfair.
“I hope I see you soon.”
Gage hummed and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”
It was the best either one of them would get.
Instead of stealing another kiss, Fallon got out of the car and didn’t look back as he walked up to his building door and stepped inside.
It was quiet, the only sound the muffled thud of his shoes on the low, worn carpet.
His apartment was at the far end of the hallway, and he kept his eyes on the ground as he turned the corner and took the familiar path toward his door.
“Hey.”
Fallon almost jumped out of his own skin. He knew that voice too fucking well. His palms began to sweat as he tried to fumble for his phone, but Charlie took several steps toward him, and he froze like a deer in headlights.
“Relax,” Charlie said, holding up his hands. His tone was more subdued than it had ever been. He looked tired too, like he hadn’t slept in months. Fallon hoped he hadn’t. He hoped Charlie had lost twice the sleep Fallon had over the last few weeks. “I’m not here to fight. I just want to talk.”
Fallon swallowed heavily. “To talk?”
“To apologize,” Charlie said quickly. “I’m not here for anything else. I swear. I know I fucked up so badly. I know I lost it. I…I never thought I’d be that guy, and I just want you to know that I know this was all my fault.”
Fallon would never love him again. He knew that. Whatever he’d felt before had died the moment Charlie hit him. But the empathy he felt—the empathy he always felt—was overwhelming, and something about Charlie’s tone sounded…maybe not sincere, but worth a few minutes of his time.
He took a breath. “I’m going to let you in, but I’m putting my brother on speed dial, and if you so much as flinch at me, I will call him, and he will kill you. I’m not joking. He will do life willingly.”
Charlie swallowed thickly. “That’s fine. I’m…I’m not a monster, okay? I’m fucked-up, but I’m working on it.”
Fallon didn’t believe him. But in spite of knowing better, he would hear him out.