Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
FALLON
He could physically feel the blood draining from his face as he stared across the table at the strange man with the uneven facial hair. He’d heard the results. He understood all the words put together in sentences, but he couldn’t make sense of anything.
“I don’t understand.”
“There is a margin for error,” the man said. Fuck, what was his name? Fallon couldn’t remember at all. “But it’s small enough that this is going to stay any potential petition for visitation.”
“Can…” Fallon swallowed heavily. “Can he force me to have the other test? The one that could hurt the baby?”
Gage reached over and took his hand.
“No. The margin of error on that test is the same. He can request another test after the child is born.”
“Thanks, Greg,” Gage said quietly. His voice sounded a little far-off too.
Greg. Right. Greg. He was probably going to forget that again.
Fallon licked his lips. “So what now? I mean, what—what does this mean?”
“It means you should probably think back and consider the list of potential parents—”
“No,” Fallon almost shouted. He felt damn near hysterical.
“No! That’s not…it’s fucked-up that this happened in the first place!
I’ve been on testosterone for years. Years!
I haven’t had a period or anything like that in…
fuck. I don’t even know.” He started to rock back and forth, trying to soothe himself.
“There was one person and—” He closed his eyes and took a slow breath in through his nose and out through his mouth. “I need to leave.”
Gage was on his feet immediately. “I’ll have him call you if we have any more questions.”
Fallon was on his feet before he was aware he was voluntarily moving, and Gage had an arm around him as they left the office. His hands were shaking slightly as he reached for the door handle of the car once they’d gotten out to the parking lot, so Gage stopped him.
“Hey, sweetheart?”
“Mm?”
“Can you take a few breaths for me?”
Fallon attempted to suck in air, but it wasn’t easy. Everything in his body felt too tight—like clothes that were six sizes too small.
“Good,” Gage told him. He reached up for Fallon’s face, then paused. “Can I touch you like this?”
“Mm.”
Gage cradled his face—the pressure a little too light at first, but a few moments later, he increased the pressure until Fallon’s shoulders sagged. “There. Okay. I need you to listen to me when I say it’s going to be alright.”
“But,” Fallon said, his voice cracking, “I don’t understand. This can’t be right. It doesn’t make sense. I swear I haven’t been with anyone else—”
“I know. I believe you,” Gage told him firmly.
He locked eyes with Fallon. “I believe you. We know two things for sure: you had unprotected sex with Charlie, and you are now carrying a baby. The test is probably wrong, and we can fix it after Mango’s here.
For now, you can breathe easy because it means Charlie can’t do anything legally.
He can’t fight you for day-one custody. He can’t try and force his way into the hospital. He can’t demand visitation.”
Fallon’s breathing became a little easier.
“And do you think there’s any harm in letting him believe this test is correct?”
Fallon blinked at him. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, he’s gotten the same results as you, right? So what’s to say he’s going to demand a retest? He’ll probably assume you were sleeping with other people.”
Fallon licked his lips. “But I wasn’t.”
“Yes, but he doesn’t know that, does he?”
Fallon’s head was so foggy it took him a moment to catch on. “So…so he might believe that I was…sleeping around, and the other father could be anyone.”
“Yes,” Gage said. His lips curled up into a smile. “If he pushes the issue and tries to order another test, we can deal with that when the time comes. But for now—at least until Mango’s here—we can forget about him.”
“Oh.” Because oh. He hadn’t considered that at all. He’d been so fixated on the truth about his situation that he hadn’t realized what a gift the lie could be. “I need to sit down.”
Gage reached past him and opened the car door, and Fallon collapsed on the seat, leaning forward with his face in his hands. It took him a few shaking breaths to fully get control, and by the time he looked over, Gage was in his seat, watching him with a wary expression.
“I don’t think he’ll fight me,” Fallon said after a long beat of silence. “I don’t think he’ll waste the money. Or the energy.”
Charlie was vindictive and cruel, but he was also lazy. This was his last-ditch effort to have some control over Fallon, but it was unlikely he’d keep pushing.
“We’ll face whatever bridge we need to cross when we get there. For now, we have some peace.”
Fallon nodded, leaning back and closing his eyes. “I think I need a nap.”
Gage let out a small laugh. “Me too, my darling. And some comfort food.”
And a redo of the date that Charlie had ruined, now that this part—even if it was a short part—was over, he thought. His head was getting clearer, and he looked at Gage, realizing that his lover had been strong enough during all of this.
It was time for Fallon to show him how much he appreciated him for it.
Fallon had asked Gage if he could pick him up from work three days later, after he made the call to the zoo to reschedule everything. Gage seemed excited about it. It had been calm in town over the last few weeks, which meant no late-night calls, no tragedies, and no fires.
The worst he’d dealt with was a kid who smoked a vape for the first time and hadn’t realized how much it would get him high—and the panic attack that ensued—and a few calls for elderly patients who had fallen.
Gage had been sleeping better at night, and though Fallon couldn’t say the same with the increasing activity in his stomach, he could at least nestle up to Gage and rest.
And he was feeling good today. It was now heading into spring, and he was a handful of weeks away from when Mango was set to appear, so he wanted to make the most of the time they had with just the two of them.
It was going to be hard after. There was going to be crying and sleepless nights.
Fallon was going to be overstimulated and stressed, and he knew that would take a toll on them.
But he wanted to believe they were stronger than that stress.
But he wanted to bookend this moment with something that felt…important. Symbolic.
And maybe a little petty.
“The zoo again?” Gage said when Fallon pulled into the parking lot. “This was supposed to be our date a few weeks ago, wasn’t it?”
Fallon bit his lip and nodded. “I scheduled something for us. You don’t have a fear of lizards, do you?”
“I mean, I feel like I have a healthy fear of the really big ones. Or the venomous ones. And I’m not super fond of snakes.”
Fallon laughed. “What about chameleons?”
Gage’s face softened. “I saw this video of a woman who had one that liked to pop bubbles. It was super cute.”
“I don’t think zoo ones pop bubbles, but we are going to see them.” Fallon got out and waited for Gage to follow, taking his hand as they walked up to the entry window. He had the tickets on his phone, and they were only a few minutes early for his surprise.
He snagged a map on his way in and traced the path to the area with his finger. “Here,” he said, tapping the little marker for the reptile house.
Gage looked over Fallon’s shoulder, then at the path ahead. “Past the lions. Oh, can we stop and see them first?”
“No,” Fallon said firmly. “We have an appointment.” He took Gage’s hand and didn’t let him falter in his steps even a little as he hurried them past the big cats, the flamingo pond, then the lemurs.
The reptile house was straight ahead, and the sign was on the door telling the time for all the animal feedings. Beside that was an arrow for the event he’d paid for.
“What is this?” Gage asked as they walked inside.
Fallon twisted his fingers together. He wasn’t really doubting himself, but he was nervous Gage would think it was immature or silly or pointless. “It’s a thing…um. Just trust me, yeah?”
Gage grabbed his elbow and yanked him backward, wrapping arms around him. “I trust you, my darling. Okay? Whatever this is, I’m going to love it.”
He would. Or he’d pretend to. The one thing he’d never do was hurt Fallon’s feelings. And he supposed that was enough. Reaching for the door handle to the second room, Fallon held it open, then led the way to the woman at a small wooden podium, who smiled as they approached.
“Hi. We’re here for the chameleon feedings.”
She pulled out a clipboard. “Names?”
“Gage and Fallon.”
“Got it. And you’ve got Jonny, Alayna, and Charlie?”
“Fallon,” Gage said quietly. “What is this?”
Fallon ignored him. “Yep.”
“Perfect. Here are your wristbands. Yours will be feeding Pumpkin Spice and Tink. They’ll be on the far left at the back of the room.”
Fallon took his wristband and handed one over to Gage before they passed her, securing the little sticky tab over their wrists. The room was dark apart from the terrarium lights, but Fallon could see the confusion on Gage’s face as they approached the chameleon area.
“Are you going to explain?” Gage asked. They were the only ones there, so he didn’t lower his voice much. “Or do I have to guess?”
Fallon took a breath as he peered into the glass and saw two veiled chameleons hanging out on branches.
“So, I saw this thing,” he said. “It was on an Instagram video on the zoo page, saying you could name a cockroach and have it fed to a chameleon. Um…a few weeks ago, you were having a hard time, so I thought—I thought we could do that for you.”
Gage said nothing.
“Then Charlie ruined it, but also, he was a shit, so I thought maybe we could feed him to the chameleons too.”