Chapter 23
23
CARSON
“ T ime to go.” I take the package from Lennie. I don’t know how the fuck he got up to this floor, but given Lennie’s specialties in infiltration and electronics, I’m betting he hacked my system. Motherfucker. That’s a feat only he or Squirrel could perform–I keep my shit tight. But professional worms can burrow through anything.
“No time for your old pal?” he wheedles.
“We aren’t pals.”
“Who’s the chick?” He gives a lascivious grin. “She looks like she knows how to treat a man with–”
Before I even think, I have my forearm on his windpipe as I shove him against the wall. “Shut your fucking mouth.”
His eyes go wide, and he sputters. “C-carson, what the–”
“I don’t want you to even think in her direction, motherfucker. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes!” He gasps and tries to wrench my arm away. He doesn’t move me. If I wanted to snap this weasel’s neck, I could do it. If he says another word about May, I will.
“Go easy, man!” His face is turning red.
I shove off him and stare him down, rage still simmering in my blood. I’m not a hothead, at least not historically. If anything, I’m cold. Methodical. I don’t take risks, and I don’t rush into anything unprepared. But when it comes to May, something in the logical part of my brain seems to have shut down completely, because I want to hurt anyone who even so much as hints at disrespecting her.
He tries to adopt a casual air as he rubs his throat. “What case are you working?” He glances down the hall.
“Don’t.” I grit my teeth.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t look for her.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re one wrong move away from a vagrant finding pieces of your body along the Jersey turnpike.”
He swallows hard. “So it’s like that, is it?”
“Out.” I step up to him. “You don’t want a replay of what happened in Buenos Aires, do you?”
He holds his hands up, palms out. “No violence necessary. I was just stopping by to give you a tip.”
There’s no way Lennie the Skeez has come to my place to help me. That’s not in his nature. There’s a reason I beat the ever- living shit out of him on our last assignment where we crossed paths. His loyalty goes to whomever pays him, not to any code or country.
“That cat–you should look at the maids. One of them has a gambling problem. Got into some trouble.”
I slam the elevator button. The doors open, and I shove him backwards. He stumbles, then rights himself.
“Jeez, Carson. So touchy.” He shrugs his shoulders to straighten his suit coat. “I was just trying to be a buddy.”
“If I see you here again, you’re dead. Understand?” I don’t think I can make it any clearer.
“The maid,” he says as the doors close, and I lose sight of his shit-eating grin.
I check the bag. There’s no way for me to tell if it’s been tampered with beyond Lennie’s greasy hands on it. I open it and pull out a box of perfume, Have the Affair written across it in swooping script.
Returning to the bedroom, I have to wonder who put Lennie up to coming to my place. Whoever it was must’ve paid him a mint, because like I said, the last time we met, I almost ended him. He’d betrayed another one of our operatives, claimed it was part of his mission, and the top brass believed his bullshit. I didn’t.
“May?” I call when I see she’s not in bed. The bathroom door is closed. I go to it and knock. “The perfume’s here.”
“Okay.” Her voice sounds strange as it wobbles through the door.
It feels like a bucket of cold water has just been dumped on my head. She sounds … hurt. “Are you all right?” I toss the box onto my dresser and press my hands to the door. “What’s wrong? Can I come in?” What could it be? Did I hurt her earlier? Fuck ! I must’ve been too rough.
“I’m okay,” she calls, clearly lying.
I try the door. Locked.
“May, I need you to open the door. Please, baby.” I press my forehead to the wood.
“I just need–”
“Me.”
“Hmm?” she asks, her voice still with that choked quality.
“You need me, and I need you. Please open the door.”
It takes what seems like an eternity, but I hear the lock click. As soon as I do, I let out my breath and open the door.
Her eyes are watery as she looks up at me, and Mousey is sitting on the sink, her pupils just slits as she glares at me.
“Are you okay?” I pull May into my arms, clutching her tightly, everything else forgotten. I can only see her, think of her. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” I hate even saying the words. “I’m so sorry. I was rough. I-I should’ve controlled myself. It was just so hard to–”
“No,” she says softly. “It’s not that.”
The boa constrictor in my chest eases a little, but only a little. “Then, what is it? What’s wrong?”
She sniffles. “Nothing.”
“May.” I drop to my knees in front of her, forcing her to look at me. “Whatever it is, tell me. I’ll make it right.” I reach up and swipe the tears from her cheeks. “Please.” I can’t stand to see her cry. Fuck, it’s like a knife between my ribs. Worse, even, since I’ve actually been knifed like that before, and this pain is on another level.
“I embarrass you?” A whisper as another tear slides along her cheek.
“What?” I don’t understand.
“You wanted me to go away. You wanted–”
“No!” I almost shout it, then force my voice lower. “No. Not because of you , babe.” I get back to my feet and scoop her up, carrying her to the bed. Sitting her in my lap, I take her chin and turn her beautiful face toward me. “You could never embarrass me.”
Her eyes widen a little.
“Oh, May.” I kiss her tear away, savoring her taste. “You’re a goddamn miracle, just the way you are. Don’t you know that?”
She shakes her head slowly. “I am?”
“Yes.” I cup her cheek. “And you’re mine. All fucking mine. I don’t even want another man looking at you. Especially not that guy.” I jerk my chin toward the front door.
“So you were … You were jealous?” Her tone brightens.
“I was protective ,” I amend. “I want to get this straight between us.” I press my forehead to hers. “You are perfect. Got it? You could never embarrass me.”
She sighs. “I know I’m weird and–”
“No.” I kiss her softly on the mouth. “You’re perfect. Just like I said, May. Not weird.”
She wrinkles her nose a bit. “I mean, I am a little weird. I talk to cats.”
“Your weird is my perfect.” I shrug, refusing to give in. She has to know how special she is, how brightly she shines.
She closes her eyes. “You say the sweetest things.”
“Only to you.”
“Only me?” She looks at me again, as if searching for some sort of answer.
I cock my head at her, slowly parsing what she’s saying. “May, you’re it for me. I don’t know any other way to put it. I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never opened myself up to someone the way I have with you. I’ve never–” wanted forever . That’s what I want to say, but I don’t want to scare her with too much too soon. I’ve probably already said more than I should have.
“Really?” She nibbles her bottom lip.
“Believe me, baby.” I take her hand and place it over my heart. “Please.”
Her smile is a revelation, and she leans into me, resting her cheek against my shoulder. “I guess I kind of jumped to the wrong conclusion.”
“I get it.” I hug her, loving the way she fits close to me, her body soft and warm. “But you don’t have to worry with me, okay?”
“I don’t?” She sighs.
“No.”
“I worry anyway.”
I stroke her hair. “About what?”
“About you breaking my heart.”
Breaking her heart? Does that mean she’s in love with me, too? I clear my throat. “May, I–”
“Seriously?” May turns quickly and stares at Mousey, who’s perched on my dresser next to the perfume box. “She can smell it. She says that’s the one!”