29. Lucien
LUCIEN
I have officially completed the Guide. All eleven steps.
Technically, some have gone better than others.
The cat café probably counts even though half the cats sassed Sparkle in some way.
Camping definitely counts despite the tent incident.
I’ve taken him on cute dates, brought him flowers, made him laugh, given him space when he needed it, and groomed him in both forms. I’ve accepted every single thing about him and met his entire family without murdering his father.
That last one should count for at least three steps.
There have also been kisses. Lots of kisses. None of them have included fireworks since the unfortunate office incident. I’ve learned.
But there’s one thing on that ridiculous glittery piece of paper that keeps bothering me.
Sparkle sits between my legs on his couch while some terrible human reality show plays on the television.
I haven’t understood a single thing that’s happened in the last twenty minutes because I’ve been too busy staring at the picture of the Guide on my phone.
Sparkle tips his head back until he can see me.
“Are you even watching this?”
“Absolutely.” I glance at the television, where a woman is crying beside a swimming pool while another woman holds a tiny dog and screams at someone off-screen. I nod like I understand any of it. “Someone has made several poor life choices.”
Sparkle snorts and turns back around. “Close enough.”
I lock my phone and set it aside before running my fingers through his hair. His ears immediately angle toward my touch, and I scratch lightly behind one. That never gets old. Sparkle sinks farther against me as a purr starts rumbling through him, and I smile as I look around the apartment.
It smells like him now. There are pictures on the walls, ridiculous little decorations he buys because they make him happy, and more blankets than one person can possibly ever need.
His bedroom is purple, and the glitter wall throws flecks of light everywhere when the sun hits it.
He even turned the second bedroom into what he calls his cat room, complete with a massive cat tree beside the window.
I laughed for ten straight minutes when I saw it. Then he shifted, climbed onto the highest platform, curled into a patch of sunlight, and looked so fucking happy that I immediately started researching bigger cat trees. I haven’t bought one. Yet.
Sparkle reaches for the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, but it’s too far away. I grab it with my tail and deposit it into his lap.
“Useful,” he says, popping a piece into his mouth.
“I am so much more than useful.” The words leave my mouth before I think about it, and Sparkle stills against me. His ears twitch before he turns around in my arms until he’s sitting sideways across my lap.
“You are.” There’s nothing dramatic about the way he says it. No teasing or laughter. He simply rests one hand over my chest and studies me. “You know that, right?”
“I do.”
Sparkle keeps looking at me, and apparently he’s learned me well enough to know when I’m full of shit. I sigh and let my head fall against the back of his couch. “I’m working on it.”
“Me too.” His thumb moves absently over my shirt, and something warm settles beneath it.
That’s the strange part about us. We’re good at completely different things, but somehow we ended up with the same fucking problem.
Sparkle spent most of his life believing his place in his family depended on how much he could do for everyone.
I spent centuries being the best tracker the demon realm could find and convinced myself being needed meant I had a purpose.
Now Sparkle has an apartment where nobody needs him to cook dinner, and I hired a fucking manager.
She’s terrifying and I adore her. She’s already threatened to ban me from touching the schedule because apparently an owner changing things without telling his manager is “counterproductive.” Sparkle thinks this is hilarious.
“I’ve been thinking about the Guide,” I say as I slide my hand over his thigh.
Sparkle immediately drops his head against my shoulder with a groan. “Oh gods. What did you do?”
I reach for my phone and open the picture Beau sent me months ago. The pink glitter paper fills the screen, covered in stickers and sixteen-year-old Sparkle’s handwriting. “But I think I did it.”
“Did what?” His ears twitch as he leans closer to see the screen.
“The Guide. I have been very thorough.” I turn the phone toward him and tap the first section. “Tummy rubs, head pats, grooming. Done. Exceptionally well, according to the amount of drooling you did in cat form last week.”
“I did not drool.” Sparkle grabs for my phone, but I lift it over my head before he can reach it.
“You absolutely drooled.”
“I was asleep!”
“Which is apparently when you drool.”
Sparkle climbs farther into my lap to get the phone, which only helps me because now I have an armful of irritated cat shifter. I wrap my free arm around his waist and keep reading while he tries to reach around me.
“Next, sing to me or write me a song. Obviously completed. Several times.”
“That seven-verse bakery song should have disqualified you from dating me.” Sparkle gives up on the phone and drops against my chest with a huff.
“And yet here you are.” I kiss his cheek, earning another annoyed little flick of his ear.
I keep going. Cute dates. Making him laugh. Giving him alone time without ignoring him. Accepting that he can’t completely shift. Accepting his family. That one makes me pause and glance at him.
“I even accepted your father.”
“You tolerate Papa.”
“That is the highest level of acceptance currently available.”
Sparkle laughs and rests his head against my shoulder again. His fingers play absently with the front of my shirt while I look down at the last part of the Guide.
Tell me how much you love me. Tell me what you love about me.
My smile slips.
Sparkle notices. Of course he does. “What?”
“I haven’t done this one.” I tap the words with my thumb. “I’ve told you things I like about you. A lot of things, actually. Your ears. Your tail. Your ass. Your incredible ability to make me want to buy you every ridiculous thing you glance at for longer than three seconds.”
“Lucien.” He laughs, but I shake my head.
“That’s not what you wrote.”
Sparkle follows my gaze to the screen, and his amusement slowly fades. “Oh.”
The room suddenly feels quieter despite the television still playing behind us. I set my phone facedown on the coffee table and turn Sparkle more fully toward me.
I know exactly what I feel for him. I’ve known for a while.
Maybe I knew when I spent hours lying on his fucking roof because I couldn’t make myself leave.
Maybe it was when he curled up in my lap as a cat and trusted me enough to sleep.
Could have been the first morning I walked into Wick’s and realized I wasn’t there for breakfast anymore.
I was there because I hoped he would walk through the door.
I don’t know when it happened. I only know it did.
“Sparkle.” I take his hand, running my thumb slowly over his knuckles while his green eyes search mine. “I love how fucking ridiculous you are.”
His mouth drops open. “Excuse me?”
“I wasn’t finished.” I laugh when he tries to pull his hand away and gently tug him closer instead.
“I love how your entire body gives away what you’re feeling, even when you try to hide it.
Your ears flatten when you’re embarrassed.
Your tail puffs when you’re scared. You purr when you’re happy, and somehow you still think you’re mysterious. ”
“I do not think I’m mysterious.” His face has already started turning pink, and his ears flatten exactly like I just described.
“See? That. I love it.” I reach up and brush my fingers over the edge of one ear before cupping his cheek.
“And I love how much you care about everyone. I know you’re learning that you don’t have to take care of everybody, but I never want you to think caring is something you have to get rid of.
That’s part of you. You love people with everything you have. ”
Sparkle’s eyes start shining, and fuck, now mine might too. I slide my other arm around his waist and bring him closer until our knees press together.
“I love watching you figure out what you want when nobody else gets a vote. I love that you bought twelve fucking pillows because you wanted twelve fucking pillows. I love your glitter wall. I love finding you asleep in the sun. I love that you came into my club, took one look at the disaster I was creating, and started bossing everyone around.”
“I did not boss everyone around,” Sparkle protests, but his voice has gone suspiciously thick.
“You absolutely did, and it was hot as fuck.”
His watery laugh loosens something in my chest. I brush my thumb beneath his eye before any tears can escape.
“I love that you chase me too. I love that you planned an entire date because you wanted to make me happy. I love every morning I walk into Wick’s and find you already looking at the door for me.”
His blush deepens. “I don’t do that.”
“Darlin’, everyone at that table knows you do.” I smile and bring his hand to my mouth, pressing a kiss against his knuckles. “And I love that you chose me.”
Sparkle goes completely still in my arms. There. I said it. Maybe not precisely the way I intended, but now that I’ve started, I don’t want to hide behind his Guide or a joke or anything else.
“I love you, Sparkle.”
His lips part, but nothing comes out.
My heart gives one hard, painful thump against my ribs. I’ve lived for centuries. I’ve faced demons who could peel the flesh from my bones. I’ve tracked creatures across realms and survived things I don’t particularly care to remember.
None of that prepared me for confessing my love to a cat shifter.
“You don’t have to say it back.” The words start spilling out before I can stop them. “That’s not why I said it. And I obviously don’t mean I only said it because of the Guide. That would be ridiculous. I love you. Very much. An alarming amount, actually.”
Sparkle’s mouth twitches.
“I just don’t want you to feel pressured because you wrote that when you were sixteen, and you couldn’t possibly have known a devastatingly handsome higher demon would eventually find it and use it as a comprehensive romantic instruction manual.
I can give you time. I’m excellent at giving you time now.
Ask anyone. I’ve improved tremendously.”
“Lucien.” Sparkle’s smile grows as he shifts closer.
“I can leave if you want some space. Or stay. Staying is also an excellent option, though. I personally vote for staying, but I’m trying to respect the spirit of the Guide rather than imposing my own preferences.”
“Lucien.” His hands slide up my chest, but my mouth apparently has no interest in stopping.
“Maybe I should stop talking.”
Sparkle grabs my face and kisses me. A completely undignified sound escapes me as his knees land on either side of my hips and he settles into my lap. My arms close around him instinctively, holding him against me while he kisses me hard enough that every thought disappears from my head.
When he finally pulls away, we’re both breathing harder. Sparkle keeps his forehead against mine, and his fingers slide into my hair. “I love you, too.”
I grab him around the waist and launch us both off the couch. Sparkle shrieks and clings to my shoulders as I spin him around the living room, his laughter filling the apartment.
“Lucien! Put me down!”
“You love me!” I kiss his cheek before spinning him again. “You fucking love me.”
“Yes, you ridiculous demon. I love you.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you!”
I kiss him properly this time, though I can’t seem to stop smiling long enough to do a particularly good job of it. I kiss his cheek next, then his forehead and the tip of one fuzzy ear until he squeals and shoves at my face.
The words come out before I can think better of them. “My kitty loves me.”
I wrap my arms around him and let myself sink into the kiss.
There’s no Guide anymore. No checklist. No perfect date I’m trying to create and no grand gesture I need to perform so Sparkle understands how much I want him.
I don’t have to prove anything. He knows.
And I know it’s the same for him. We just click.