Chapter 21
MADDISON
“ W hat are you doing?” I look up from my book when the door bursts open and Jace comes inside, dragging a huge Christmas tree by its trunk.
“It’s the biggest one I could find.” He rests both his hands on his knees while he catches his breath, and I have to hide the smile I want to make because I’m still mad at him. It’s been three days since I discovered that the father of my child sees himself as some kind of town vigilante and although I find it brave, it’s also very fucking stupid.
“I thought you didn’t celebrate Christmas, anymore.” I shrug, picking my book back up and trying to look unimpressed, it’s going to take a lot more than a Christmas tree to make up for the fact he might be meeting his child for the first time through prison bars.
“Come on, don’t be like that. I did this because I want us to celebrate the holidays together. It’s gonna be the first one, and only one, we get to ourselves.” He tries to sound cheery, but he could put on a red suit and grow a beard for all I care.
“I wonder if they’ll let you drag that thing into your prison cell?” I slam the book shut and get up to move toward the kitchen, every time I think about it I get more furious. How could he come up with this plan for us to make a baby together when he knows he could be taken away from us?
“Mads, please. I know what I do scares you, but those men, being out there roaming free, they scare me. Especially now you're here.” He stands in my way, blocking me with that strong, muscly chest. He smells of pine and hard work, there's a glisten of sweat on his forearms and he must have carried that tree some distance because the veins in them are popping up beneath all his ink.
The fact my hormones are making me a wound-up coil of sexual energy, and that I‘ve been holding out on him in protest the past few days, makes it almost impossible not to reach out and touch him.
“Darlin’, I hate it when we fight, I hate that you won’t let me touch you, and I–”
“Move out my way.” I refuse to look up at him.
“C’mon, stop being a bra–”
“Don’t you dare call me a brat, not this time. Me being mad at you for this is not me being a brat or a princess, it’s me being a mother. We’re having a baby, Jace. I don’t want to do that without you. I did not sign up for that.” I can feel my tears starting to build, which is another thing I’m blaming on my hormones.
“Shit, Mads, don’t cry.” He looks devastated, but it’s not enough. I need him to promise that he’s gonna stop what he does.
“I’ve got every reason to cry. You brought me here, you made me fall in love with you, you put your baby inside me and all while you knew there was a chance you could be taken from me.” I sound so weak and vulnerable, and it makes me want to bang my fists into his chest.
“That’s never gonna happen, babe, it’s not just my uncle that's involved in this. Eli, Hayden, they’re all part of the cause.”
“What cause, Jace?” I can feel myself losing my temper.
“The town we live in needs protecting, it’s part of our family's history, and now, it’s my kid's future.” He flattens his palm on my lower stomach and reminds me how much I’ve missed having him touch me there.
“I want him to have all this, I want him to live in a decent town with decent people around him.”
“And at what sacrifice?” I question.
Jace doesn’t say anything back, just pulls his hand away and uses it to scratch the back of his neck.
“All that matters to me is our kid’s future, and keeping you safe. For that, I think I’d sacrifice just about anything.” His voice drops into a whisper, and when I see the determination in his eyes I have to ask the next question, even if I fear the answer.
“Have you killed someone… for the cause?” I ask him, needing to know everything there is to know.
“If I tell ya the truth, will you leave?” He looks scared for the first time since I’ve known him.
“No.” I don’t have to hesitate or think about my answer. I know I would never leave him, and it’s not just because of the fact I’m carrying his child. It’s something rooted way deeper that feels as if it’s always been there, I just never noticed it until I met him.
“Yes,” he whispers, looking down at the floor as if he’s ashamed of himself.
“And all of them were bad?” I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Every single one,” he confirms, lifting his eyes back up to mine and showing no remorse.
“If I asked you to stop, would you?” My lips start to tremble.
“No.” He shakes his head and when I close my eyes, he quickly grabs hold of my shoulders. “Open your eyes and look at me,” he orders and when I do, he looks as if he’s hurting. “I could stop, but I won’t. Too many things have happened in the past because action wasn’t taken. If there is the slightest risk to you out there, I’m gonna eliminate it. My way. I can’t promise that I’ll stop but I can promise not to lie to you.” He frowns while he waits for me to say something and when I feel that pulse start to beat between my legs, I throw out all my concerns and my morals as I launch myself at him.
He grips the back of my hair and fists it as he kisses me, and I feel my panties soak because it’s been far too long since we’ve had contact like this.
“Do you know how hard it’s been for me not to touch you?” he growls against my lips as his hands start ripping at my jeans and panties. He forces them off my hips and I kick them off along with my shoes. His hand reaches between my thighs and covers my pussy. “Fuck, you’re wet. You shouldn’t have held out on me.” He uses the other hand to open his belt and free his cock.
“I was mad but I wanted it. These days it…it feels like I need it.” He brings his hand up between us and grips his fingers around my jaw, tilting my head so I’m looking at him.
“Next time I piss you off, and as hard as I try not to, it’s inevitable that I will….” His fingers tense as he keeps his lips almost touching mine. “If you need me, if you need this…” He looks between us and allows his cock to brush against me. “...whatever fight we're having, we take a pause, so I can give it to you.” He hitches me up from the floor and after I hook my legs around his hips, he slowly sinks himself into me. It’s only been three days since I felt him inside me but the relief feels like a drug and it travels all the way to my toes.
“I hate it when we fight,” I tell him, clutching his cock inside me like I’ve been starved of it.
“We weren’t fightin’, Princess. You were just being stubborn.” He smiles and I slide my hands behind his neck and lean back so I can admire the smug look on his face. I know he’s strong enough to hold, and control, the top half of my body, and as he looks down and watches his cock slip in and out of my pussy, he bites his lip like he’s holding something back.
“Fuck, that's hot, I’ve missed this pregnant, little snatch and how it holds me.” His firm hands grip tight around my ribs as he fucks me in the middle of his living room, slamming his hips into mine and making me come so loud, I swear the guys out in the yard will hear.
“That's right, Baby Momma, scream it all out. Let the world know how good you take it for me.” I swear everything feels so much more intense these days. My hands start to slip so I drag myself up and make my body taut with his. When he moves us over to the door and presses me against it, I fear for my sanity as I claw at his scalp and he bites down on my lip.
This man has just admitted to me that he’s killed. He’s warned me that he would kill again and yet the only thing I fear is being separated from him.
“Promise you're never gonna leave.” He slides his hand up and places it around my throat.
“How about you make me that same promise, cowboy?” I’m starting to believe that it would take a lot more than some bad deeds and a switched-on sheriff to take him away from me but I need to hear it for myself.
He presses his forehead into mine and stills his body, his cock filling me to the hilt as his fingers tense.
“Pretty girl, there's not a thing in this world that could take me away from you.” The stern look on his face and the fact I can feel this man's determination seeping into my bones assures me that he means it. He takes my mouth with his as he gets back to thrusting inside me, and just as I’m about to come for a second time, he bends his knees and wraps his arms around my middle. His cock finds a new angle and I rest my shoulders back against the wall as the thrill consumes me and I forget about the life I used to have.
Nothing about what I have with Jace Sullivan is normal, but I’m sure of one thing. I never want to go back to the way life was before.