Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
“Ineed to get meself under control,” Lucas muttered, tossing aside his quilt and rising from the sheets. He tossed them back over the mattress before shuffling to the center of the room. He ran a hand through his hair as he scoffed. “This is nae befittin’ of a laird.”
Restless energy coursed through him, and his mind refused to quiet. It had been loud ever since he walked away from the training grounds. Climbing into bed hadn’t done a thing to erase it. Though he supposed he could have anticipated this outcome.
His footsteps echoed in the quiet of his quarters as he began to pace, circling the room.
The fire crackled away on the far wall, its heat caressing him as he passed.
The soft, supple weight of Flora’s breast was a ghost in his hand.
It flexed mindlessly at his side, almost like he was still touching her.
As the urge to keep her safe warred with the desire he hadn’t asked for, Lucas threw on his trews. As he shoved his feet into his boots, he cursed under his breath. Surely, this was because it had been years since he’d touched a woman.
But it feels as if it’s somethin’ much different.
He yanked his door open with more force than entirely necessary, needing some sort of outlet for the crackling beneath his skin. It felt so similar to the sleepless nights he’d spent after he’d lost his son and his wife.
A walk in the cool evening air would clear his mind. When thoughts of Leo plagued him or the memory of his late wife’s blame was too strong to ignore, this had always been the solution. And it had been a long time since he’d needed a distraction so badly.
“Lucas?”
That voice. The sweet, unexpected melodic sound only made his restraint stretch thinner. When his eyes landed on Flora’s form, something in him snapped. He went still, knowing that if he got any closer, he wouldn’t be able to control himself.
“Are ye feelin’ well?” she asked, taking half a step back. Her eyes were wide, dark pools that reflected the dancing torchlight of the corridor. “Ye seem… tense. Did somethin’ happen?”
The dressing gown she wore clung to her body, showing off the slight curve of her waist much better than any of the borrowed dresses. The material was thin, airy. Her chest rose and fell with each shaky breath she took. His eyes tracked the movement of her tongue as it wet her bottom lip nervously.
Even as he moved forward, Lucas saw the way terror leaked into her features. She shrunk in on herself, her body tensing as she prepared for a blow. But that wasn’t his intention. That would never be his intention with her.
“What,” he growled, the words strained as he caught her wrist, his grip firm but not crushing, just strong enough to keep her from running, “are ye doin’ out so late?”
“I—” she squeaked, tensing and making an aborted attempt to pull her hand back. She swallowed hard, looking as if she were trying to force herself to relax. “I thought I heard somethin’. I was just goin’ to check. I—”
“Flora,” he said, his grip on her wrist tightening as he caged her in further. The conflict in his head, the drive to protect her, flared. “Ye shouldnae be goin’ out to investigate strange noises. I willnae allow someone in me castle to harm ye, but ye can never ken who’s lurkin’ around at night.”
Ye may run into someone like me.
“I understand,” she said, her body tensing further. Still, she didn’t try to pull away, instead accepting his grip and his intensity. “I just…”
“What do ye think would have happened to ye if ye were caught unaware?” he asked, getting even closer, so near her now that he could feel how warm her body was.
“I would find ye. Daenae doubt that for a single moment. I told ye I would keep ye safe, and I wouldnae say somethin’ I didnae mean.
But nay one would ken what happened to ye until the mornin’. ”
A strangled sound escaped her as her hand twitched fruitlessly in his grip. Lucas’ free hand found her waist. He moved impossibly closer to her, their chests nearly touching, her back flush against the wall.
“I would hate for ye to have to watch me kill a man, Flora.”
This time, she jerked, her foot sliding forward. The fear, the noises, and the way she was looking at him as though he were a monster finally brought him out of his head. He released her, breathing hard as he attempted to put space between the two of them, hating himself for losing control.
It was too late, though. In her frantic struggle, she lost her balance, her feet sliding on the smooth stone floor. As her body tilted forward, he planted himself more firmly as he prepared to right her when she stumbled, apologize for his behavior, then continue on his walk.
“Lucas…” she murmured, frozen in place.
She had fallen into him, the softness of her breasts pressing into the hard line of his chest. The feeling of her against him like this was even more intoxicating than the touch he’d gotten earlier in the day.
To make matters worse, she didn’t move away.
It seemed as if the shock of the interaction had stolen her ability to move.
“Flora,” he responded, barely holding back the animalistic desire that coursed through him. “I daenae ken anyone that falls as often as ye have today.”
“I…” she started, trailing off but staying stubbornly close.
Another growl tore from him, and he sounded every bit the predator he felt when he said, “Ye really shouldnae test me control like this, Flora.”
“What…” she began, drawing a long and shuddering breath. She still didn’t step back, unaware of the challenge she was presenting. “What do ye mean?”
“This nightgown,” he grunted, putting a hand on her waist, intending to push her away.
His grip stayed there, and it was as if he couldn’t bring himself to break the contact, intoxicated by just how much he was liking this.
“This slip of fabric, it leaves nothin’ to the imagination. I can feel everythin’.”
“I…” she began, her lips parting, a blush rising to her cheeks. Even in the low light, he could see the way it crept down to her chest, extending even further down, below the silken neckline. “Lucas—”
He didn’t give her a chance to finish the thought, leaning down to capture her plush lips with his. She gasped into the kiss, her hands flying up to his elbows. Her hold on him tightened as his mouth moved against hers.
Flora moaned half a second later, her body catching up to what Lucas was doing. She relaxed into the kiss, reciprocating it with hesitant enthusiasm. He deepened it, feeling crazed, drinking her in like a man starving.
Then, his brain caught up with the violation, the wrongness of what he was doing. He pulled back, breathing hard as he stared down at Flora. Her own chest was heaving, the pink on her cheeks deepening to a vibrant red.
Ach, I’ve pushed too far. I’ve let me own desires take precedence over what she needs.
She still looked scared, but there was something else lying underneath it, a curiosity that hadn’t been there before.
Even when he dropped his hold on her, shaking her hands from his elbows, she didn’t move back more than a centimeter.
He couldn’t tell if the fragile trust he’d built with her over the last few days had been broken or if something else entirely was happening in her head; her gaze clouded with so many conflicting emotions that he couldn’t pick out more than terror.
“Ye drive me absolutely mad,” he said, finally putting distance between the two of them. He turned away from her, afraid that seeing her face might break his resolve. “Now get into yer room. Ye daenae ken what can happen to ye in the dark.”
He didn’t give her a chance to respond. He couldn’t. If he stayed any longer, he might do something that he regretted even more than the kiss.
Flora was frozen in place, watching as Lucas’ body was swallowed by the darkness at the end of the corridor.
As soon as she could no longer see him, her knees began to tremble.
She leaned against the cool stone, the chill seeping into her skin through the thin fabric.
It was a sharp reminder that this was reality and not some twisted dream.
I daenae ken if I understand what just happened or why. Did he truly want to kiss me? Or perhaps I was simply the one in front of him when the desire hit… I cannae imagine he truly wanted me.
Before Flora could even begin to pick apart the tangled knot of thoughts in her head, the door of the chambers next to hers creaked open.
Matthew’s head peeked out, his eyes landing on where she was huddled against the wall.
Softly, turning his head so he could speak into the room, he said, “Annabeth, could ye come here?”
“What is it?” Annabeth’s tired voice answered. The soft sound of feet shuffling across the floor reached Flora’s ears as Matthew disappeared from her view. Then, the other woman’s face appeared. Her brows furrowed deeply when she spotted Flora, but she quickly forced it away. “Aye, I see.”
Flora straightened, trying to come up with an excuse as to why she was standing out here dressed in nearly nothing.
Before she could, Annabeth joined her, pulling her robe tighter around her waist. Matthew made a tired noise as he pushed the door mostly closed.
It seemed to Flora to be a promise not to eavesdrop as he provided them protection from whatever could be lurking in the night.
“Cannae sleep?” Annabeth asked, reaching for Flora’s elbow with a mother’s tenderness.
Flora shook her head, clearing her throat before she replied, “I cannae. And I thought I heard a noise.”
“Ach, so did Matthew,” Annabeth said with a smile that reached her voice, beginning to lead Flora into her own room. “Said he thought he heard Lucas’ voice.”
“I… saw Laird McGowan,” Flora replied, defaulting to his title.
She didn’t want to divulge what had just happened.
It had been her fault that he’d left so abruptly after kissing her, she was sure.
She couldn’t say why, but she must have done something wrong.
And, even worse, she wasn’t entirely convinced that she’d disliked the contact even if it scared her terribly.
She found herself… intrigued. “He told me nay to go investigatin’ strange noises on me own. ”
“He’s nay wrong about that,” Annabeth said kindly, depositing Flora onto the chair near the fireplace after closing the door behind them. “The castle is safe, but it’s best we daenae take chances. He’s lookin’ out for yer best interest.”
“Aye, I ken,” Flora said. And she believed that with her whole heart.
Despite her own reservations and the fear that seemed to stick to her ribs, it wasn’t as if he’d done anything prior to that kiss that led her to believe she was in any real danger.
“I suppose me curiosity was too strong. And as I said, I couldnae sleep.”
Annabeth hummed, crossing the room. “I’ll have Matthew call for a maid to bring ye up some tea. Would ye like company, or would ye prefer to spend some time on yer own before ye try to sleep again?”
“Just the tea would be fine,” Flora said after a moment of consideration. “I’ll be fine on me own. I really should try to get to bed.”
I’m nay goin’ to be able to sleep, though.
She could still feel the ghost of Lucas’s lips on hers. The warmth that had spread through her, unfamiliar yet unexpectedly not unwelcome, haunted her. If she spent any more time with Annabeth, she was sure the other woman would notice that her mind was elsewhere.
“Ach, ye probably should,” Annabeth agreed, stifling a yawn.
“Daenae worry about anythin’ ye may hear in the night.
Sometimes the castle makes strange sounds.
And if anythin’ happens, Lucas or Matthew will take care of it.
The best thing ye can do for yerself if ye think somethin’s happenin’ is to lock the door and stay put.
” Her eyes flashed with something knowing.
“Even if ye do ken how to use a blade now.”
The lightness of Annabeth’s last statement made Flora’s shoulders relax a bit, though she still felt on edge. “Ye’re right. And it’s nae like I’m an expert.”
“Nae yet,” Annabeth laughed as she let herself out. She paused at the threshold, looking back with that maternal smile on her face. “The maid will knock three times and should be up shortly. Have a good night, Flora.”
“Ye as well,” Flora said, grateful for the privacy she was being granted.
When she was alone in her room once more, the thoughts came rolling back in. The feeling of her body pressed against the Laird’s was overwhelming enough that she felt frozen in the chair. And his lips… the scratch of his beard against her jaw… A shiver ran through her.
What am I supposed to do now? I daenae ken how to feel, and I daenae ken how I’m supposed to behave around him.
Even worse, she had enjoyed the kiss. Some part of her thought that she wanted more, but she didn’t think she could trust herself, nor did she think she deserved something that felt so good. With a groan, she tossed her head back against her chair.
When the three knocks came, Flora jumped slightly.
Telling herself that there was no point in dwelling on what had happened right now, she allowed the maid to deliver the tea.
She let the first sip warm her, but it did nothing to quiet the storm of thoughts in her mind or the memory of Lucas’ arms around her and his lips against hers.