Chapter 8
Maverick
It was a long night but worth it. After a cold dip in the lake, I didn’t want to disturb Josie’s sleep and so I leant up against a tree and dozed off for a bit.
And I thought about my future. I am finally doing what I have dreamt of planned for so many years.
Helping kids. Using this camp for good instead of just making money.
And now I want someone to share this success with. I want Josie.
I’ve never taken so much pleasure in a woman’s pleasure.
But just to be able to touch her. To make her moan.
To make her come. I want to spend all my days and nights with this amazing woman.
I love her crazy way of talking. I love her wild spirit.
But I am a nervous bundle of energy waiting for her to wake up to find out how she feels about last night.
I’m on the other side of camp when I see her get up and make her way into the woods where the women’s latrine is set up. And then everything gets a little crazy as the boys start to get up. There is breakfast to organize and the taking down of the tents and packing of bags.
Josie and I exchange a few looks but it is hard for me to read what she is thinking. It’s not until the group starts heading back to the main camp that I can drop behind to talk to her.
What I want to do is pull her into my arms and kiss her. But she has her guard up. And so we walk along together in silence for a little bit. Finally I say, “So, I had a really good time last night."
She smiles. And then it turns into a grin. “Last night was amazing.” And then a sigh. “I just don’t know what it means.”
I stop and turn towards her. “I know what I want it to mean, Josie. I want you to stay here with me. You could work here or get a teaching job in town. But I want to see where this goes. More than that, I want to make a future with you.”
“The thing is, and I’ve thought about this all morning. My whole world has fallen apart. I feel like I’m falling. But it’s not your job to catch me. I don’t want to just stay here because it is an easy fix.”
I feel a bit hurt. Is that all I am to her? An easy fix? A job and a place to stay?
We walk along in silence again. Both of us are lost in our thoughts.
I do understand what Josie is going through.
I’ve been through it myself. Several times.
When the path I was on seems to disappear.
I glance over at the forest. It’s a good analogy.
If the path disappears, you find a new path.
But at the moment Josie feels like her world has come apart.
Can I wait for her to put herself back together?
Eventually I stop and once again we turn to each other. “Josie, I think that you are amazing. And I think that we can be something amazing. But I don’t want to push you. I’m here for you. When you’re ready. No pressure. I’ll just be here for you when you are ready to choose this life.”
“Oh Maverick.” I spot the tears forming in her eyes as she throws herself against me. Wrapping my arms around her I hold her tight. Kissing the top of her head and inhaling the smell of her hair. It kills me to let her go. But if that’s what she needs, then that is what I will do.
“You’ll really wait for me to get things figured out?” She asks.
I nod, though she can’t see it with her face pressed against my chest. “Yes. One, two, even three hours. I can wait for you.” It’s a joke and she pulls back from me and smiles.
I take her hand in mine as we continue our walk back to the main camp. I like holding her hand. That small contact. I just wish it was forever.