Chapter 13 #2
Boone wasn’t sure exactly where shit had gone south, but he had a limit on how much rudeness he could take—and Sadie just hit it. “You were perfectly happy in Gracemont a week ago. Now stop slouching, clean up the attitude, and tell me what happened at school today that upset you.”
Shit. His tone was as crappy as hers, but it’d been a long time since she’d pushed his buttons like this. He was out of practice with being patient.
Sadie crossed her arms, her lips pressed together tightly as she shot him a dirty look fit to kill.
“Maybe we can help,” Mila offered gently.
Sadie exploded out of her chair, her face red with rage, her hands shaking. “We? What do you mean we? I don’t need your help,” she said. “You’re not my mom, so stop pretending you are!”
“Sadie!” Boone yelled, but his daughter had already spun around, dashing to her room and slamming the door behind her.
Boone started to rise, but Mila placed her hand on his. “Give her a few minutes to calm down. If you go in there now, it’s just going to get more heated.”
“I’m not going to let her talk to you like that.” Obviously, Sadie wasn’t the only one who needed to calm down.
“It’s fine, Boone. I’m a big girl and I know she didn’t mean it.” She lowered her voice. “Is she always like this after her visits with Lena?”
Boone nodded. “There’s an adjustment period as we try to get back into our routines.”
“She misses her mom. It’s understandable. You said they don’t get to see each other very often. Lucy was the same when our mom left.”
Boone settled back in his chair, sighing tiredly. “She was?”
“I mean, it was a little different, because my mom left and stayed gone for a year. No visits. Just phone calls, and she sent us gifts on our birthdays. I told you that Lucy and Mom were really close, so when her birthday came along, we found out she’d been harboring this idea that Mom wouldn’t miss it.
Lucy was so sure Mom would come home to celebrate with her. ”
“But she didn’t.”
Mila shook her head. “Lucy hung out on the front porch from the time she got home from school until dinnertime, even though it was windy as hell that day. My dad had come home on time, since it was Lucy’s birthday, and Grandma had come over to make her favorite dinner—spaghetti with meatballs.
It took Dad some talking to get Lucy to come in to eat.
Then Grandma said something innocuous—I don’t even remember what.
Something about helping Lucy do something she’d wanted to do.
Lucy erupted just like Sadie did. Yelled at Grandma.
Said she didn’t need any of them because Mom would be home soon.
She stormed off to her room. Dad wanted to follow her, but Grandma said Lucy needed to get some of that pain out, and she was strong enough to bear it for her. ”
“You take after your grandma, don’t you?”
Mila smiled. “I hope so. She was…everything. Sweet but stern. Thoughtful, generous, patient. I missed her when…”
“When her mind started to go?”
Mila nodded. “Dementia is like watching someone you love die in slow motion. Every day there was a little less of her there.”
Boone reached over and held her hand, squeezing it.
Mila shifted her hand so that their fingers were interlocked.
“What happened with Lucy?” he asked.
“Ten minutes hadn’t passed before we heard her crying.
Grandma went to her, and I overheard Lucy apologizing, saying she didn’t mean it.
I didn’t hear the rest of their conversation, but Lucy came back to the table for cake and presents, and she looked happier, more at peace.
I wish I knew what Grandma said to her because maybe I could use her words to help Sadie. ”
Boone had been fighting a losing battle since the beginning with Mila. With those words, he gave up the battle and the war…because he was in love with her.
He cleared the lump blocking his throat as he tried to come to grips with that fact, and where the hell he was supposed to go from here.
He couldn’t drop those three little words on her already.
She’d decided they should take things slow, and while he’d fallen hard for her, he wasn’t sure Mila was there yet.
Because as he’d learned the hard way at her age, there was a difference between love and lust.
Mila admitted after their lunchtime quickie that she understood how people could become addicted to sex.
The time Mila had offered for them to get to know each other and to see how they fit together wasn’t just for him.
It was for her, too, and he hadn’t given her enough of it.
Hell, when he considered it, most of the personal sharing had come from her.
He’d yet to tell her much of his own history.
They were both distracted by a sound coming from Sadie’s room, and he bowed his head.
“She’s crying.” The sound broke his heart and he rose, ready to go comfort his daughter.
Sadie had been too young to feel the pain of Lena’s desertion, but Boone had felt it for her…and for himself. In the past few years, Sadie had caught up to him, so at the end of every vacation, she suffered from the separation and from being left behind.
Mila stood too. “Do you mind if I…” She gestured toward Sadie’s door.
Boone nodded without hesitation, considering the story she’d just told him about Lucy. He’d had countless conversations with Sadie about her mother, and he still wasn’t sure he’d ever found the right words.
Mila walked to Sadie’s room and knocked on the door. “Sade? Do you mind if I come in?”
While Boone heard Sadie’s voice, he couldn’t make out the words. It must have been some sort of invitation because Mila opened the door and slipped inside.
She pushed the door behind her but didn’t close it all the way, leaving a six-inch gap that he was certain was intentional. She wasn’t closing him out or trying to overstep. She’d asked for a chance to speak to his daughter, ensuring he could hear it all and intervene if he needed or wanted to.
Boone hadn’t asked her to carry his baggage, but damn if Mila wasn’t proving she was strong enough to do so.
He silently crossed the room until he stood just outside Sadie’s door. Peering around slowly, he saw Mila perched on the edge of the mattress, Sadie sitting. They were both in profile to him, so neither of them saw him standing there.
“I’m sorry I upset you,” Mila said.
Sadie wiped her eyes, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
Mila grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and handed it to Sadie. “I know that. I’m sure it’s hard having to say goodbye to your mom.”
Sadie shrugged, trying to act like it didn’t hurt her as much as it did. “I don’t know when I’m going to see her again. It could be a long time.”
Boone’s chest tightened at her confession. While he tried to comfort her after each visit, Sadie didn’t talk much about her feelings toward her mom, and suddenly Boone wondered if that was because she was protecting him.
“Boone said you spend a week with her every summer, right? I know that seems like a long time from now, but it’s only a handful of months and I bet it goes fast.”
Sadie sniffled, fresh tears falling. “Mom’s not sure I can come this summer. She lost her job and said she won’t have any money to do stuff. I said that was okay, but…” Another shrug that went through Boone like nails.
“Maybe she’ll find another job before then. My grandma always used to say, don’t borrow trouble.”
“What’s that mean?” Sadie asked, confused.
Mila reached out and ran her hand over Sadie’s hair. “It means, it’s too soon to worry about summer, but…I understand how you’re feeling. It’s hard being away from your mom. My mom left when I was eight.”
“Remi told me your parents died in a car accident. I’m sorry.”
Boone smiled sadly, so proud of his daughter for her compassionate words.
“Thank you. But they died when I was nine. My mom left us when I was eight.”
Sadie frowned. “Remi didn’t tell me that.”
Mila sighed. “She was only five at the time, so I’m not sure how much she remembers of the year Mom was gone.”
“Did your mom want a divorce?”
Mila nodded. “Yes. She wasn’t happy living on this farm. She longed for bigger cities, more exciting places.”
Sadie grimaced, recalling her comments at the table. “I don’t really hate Gracemont. The people are nice, and I love this farm and the stables and the horses.”
That confession from his daughter nearly brought Boone to his knees because he hadn’t fully shaken his worry about that since the day he’d loaded the truck and drove them away from Williamsburg.
“I’m glad. Because you and your dad fit in here like you were born on this farm. Aunt Claire is already declaring you honorary Storms,” Mila said, grasping Sadie’s hand.
Sadie’s smile proved those words meant as much to her as they did to Boone. “Were you close to your mom?”
Mila hesitated for a moment, and Boone recalled the anger she’d felt toward her mother. “We were,” she said. “She used to call me her little Whippoorwill because when I was younger, I was as wild and crazy as Remi is now.”
Sadie laughed.
“She used to brush my hair every night after my bath.” Mila reached up, touching her own hair. “It always felt so good. And my mom gave the greatest hugs ever, whenever I was hurt or scared or sad.”
There was something almost wistful in Mila’s tone that told him she hadn’t let herself remember the good things about her mom in a long time, too angry about the end.
“My mom gives good hugs,” Sadie added. “Did yours come back for visits, after she left, I mean?” Sadie asked, proving she was still upset about leaving Lena.
Mila shook her head. “No. She was gone for a full year. And the only reason she came back was to sign the divorce papers. She and Dad drove to see the lawyer and…”
This time, it was Sadie who reached out to grab a tissue, handing it to Mila, who wiped her eyes.
“Was that when they died?” Sadie asked.