8. Caspian
CASPIAN
S he had to be alive.
There was no other fucking alternative.
It had been almost two days since Ciel had woken us all up with the worst news I’d ever received in my entire life. Nothing compared to the realization that she was taken, and we had no idea where she was.
But there was a flame of hope blazing inside my chest.
We’d get her back.
The four of us had been turning over every brick in the city. We would search every corner of the fucking world, whatever it took to bring her back.
My mafia queen had come so far since the night we’d run for our lives. She’d grown so fucking strong. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d fight her way free. Hell, she’d probably waltz back into the penthouse any moment, having saved her own damn self.
Despite the feeling of being separated from my other half, I knew I’d hold her in my arms again. I fucking knew it.
I believed in her.
The alternative was impossible. Unacceptable.
I couldn’t let myself descend into despair.
Hope was the only thing fueling me, allowing me to push my body past the limit.
We’d burnt four different Albanian businesses to the ground.
We’d killed dozens of Clan members. Once we’d learned who took her—the Vokshi Clan—we’d returned to the penthouse to sleep and eat before we’d agreed to go back out again.
None of us could sit still, but we also needed to be ready for when Ciel found her.
I downed a glass of water in the kitchen and gently washed the cup in the sink. Ryu, Obi, and I had returned to the penthouse in the early morning hours, and I’d tried to catch a few hours of sleep, but our room smelled like her.
She was everywhere. Her pajamas, folded and ready for another wear, on the dresser. Her brush left out on the countertop in the bathroom. Her pillow creased from the imprint of her head.
I couldn’t.
So I’d sat on the couch in the living room and watched the sunrise, trying to hold myself together. Trying to picture her and Max, possibly trapped together. Then, trying to erase the image of the two of them fighting with each other and trying to survive the Albanians.
If Max did anything to her…
If they did…
I swallowed my shiver and pushed the thought from my head. Nope. Not going there. We’d seen the Albanian drug and brothel operations, and imagining that happening to Leona was only going to make me insane.
I set the glass on the counter and turned my head slightly at the movement behind my shoulder.
“Hey,” Ryu said behind me. He’d been a fucking wreck. Somehow, that made me like him a little bit more. He’d been vicious last night. Insatiable .
“Hey,” I answered, turning and crossing my arms over my chest. “Did you sleep?”
The dark circles under his eyes answered my question. “No. You?”
I shook my head.
Ryu grimaced, running his hands through his hair. He paced the kitchen, looking like he was two seconds away from snapping. If he didn’t take some of the edge off, he would snap—whether that was at us, or some innocent bystander, it didn’t matter. Someone was going to get hurt.
I knew how I could distract both of us.
“Do you want to work out with me?” I asked.
He paused. “What?”
“We’re stuck in a holding pattern until we have more information. Giulio is trying to hear more about what happened to Max. Ciel is still trying to triangulate the ship.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “I’m going to go crazy if I do nothing. So, do you want to work out? Burn off some energy?”
He clenched his eyes together, then nodded sharply. “Only if you spar with me so I can whoop your ass.”
I smirked. “Going to play dirty again?”
He snorted, clearly remembering how the last time we’d “sparred” in the gym, he’d kicked my bad knee on fucking purpose and I’d then flipped him over my shoulder and knocked the wind out of him. A part of me wondered what it would be like to spar with him at both of our bests, in a fair fight.
Probably would be fun.
“I’m only dirty if provoked,” he replied, heading toward the private elevator that led down to the gym on the floor beneath us.
I followed. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re dirty all the time, no provocation necessary?”
His mouth pulled up into a crooked, pervy smile. “I’ll show you dirty, bodyguard. ”
“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes as the two of us rode the elevator down. “Let’s see what you got.”
After we both wrapped our hands and stretched, we sparred for at least an hour. I was still building up to my old strength and stamina, and I knew he was taking it easy on me, but it felt good .
We both were still constantly aware of Leona—missing her, fearing for her—but being able to focus my brain on something else felt like I could finally take a breath.
I raised a hand to pause our latest bout. My leg ached, and my shoulder was starting to feel sore. Ryuji nodded while I slowly sat down on the edge of the mat. After making a trip to the mini-fridge in the corner, he sat down next to me.
“You were right,” he said, out of nowhere. He handed me a water bottle, and I downed the entire thing. Sparring with him was intense; he was so fucking quick on his feet.
“I love hearing you finally admit that,” I replied. He snorted. “But right about what? What are you talking about?”
He looked at the ground, elbows resting on his knees. “All those times you said we should be the ones protecting her. All those times you went on and on about keeping her safe.” His face split into a pained frown. “You were right.”
My heart felt like it was cracking in two, because as much as I missed her and wanted her back in our arms as soon as possible, I also knew he was the reason I believed we’d get her back. They were all the reason I felt so strongly that she would survive.
I had been wrong to be so overprotective. Yes, she’d been taken, but if I’d had my way and didn’t let her prepare herself…
They were the reason I wasn’t melting down right now.
“No,” I responded, shaking my head. “You’re the reason she’s going to live. You all made her strong enough to get back to us.”
His lips pressed together, and he hung his head in his hands. “ Fuck. I feel like I can’t fucking breathe. I’m going insane with worry. I can’t sleep; I can’t eat. I just want to fucking murder something. I can’t stop thinking about what they’re doing to her on that ship.”
I nudged his shoulder slightly, staring at my feet. “I know.”
“If anything has happened to her—” his voice broke.
I grasped his shoulder. “Ciel will find her. And then we’ll get her back.”
He nodded. “And then we’ll never let her leave this penthouse ever again.”
I considered it for a moment. As soon as we got her back, we could keep her here, away from our enemies, safe and secure. We could run the Family and expand our empire and achieve all our goals without her ever stepping foot outside his penthouse.
But she wouldn’t want that. She’d hate it. She’d been locked up enough at the Vero estate. It would be a tragedy to do it again.
“Now you’re sounding a little too much like me,” I said with a chuckle. “She hates being caged.”
He was quiet for a moment before he groaned and clutched at his chest. “I don’t know how you’re doing it, bodyguard. I’m a fucking wreck.”
My mouth pulled up into a sad smile. “We both love her too much.”
I knew he loved her. And seeing how close he was to collapsing made me look at him completely differently than I had when we first met. His feelings for her were genuine.
“I guess we do.” He met my eyes briefly before rubbing the back of his neck. “If this is what love feels like, I don’t fucking want it.”
“Yes, you do,” I said with a scoff. “Don’t be an idiot.”
He exhaled a heavy breath and went silent.
“I almost lost her before, when everything went down with the Family and the engagement,” I spoke after a few quiet moments.
“I almost pushed her away because I was too afraid of losing her. I will never get that close again. This didn’t happen to her because we weren’t careful enough.
This happened because there are bad fucking people out there—enemies—who would clearly do anything to hurt us.
She’s strong enough to face those enemies head on, and so are we. ”
He stared across the room, gazing into space. “I think I liked it better when you were an overprotective asshole.”
I barked a laugh. “Why?”
“It was easier to hate you.”
My mouth pulled up at the corner. “Sorry for the inconvenience of making you like me. And sorry that I’m always right, and you’re always wrong.”
“Apology not accepted.”
Despite everything, I chuckled. “For the record, I think I like it better now that we’re on the same team.”
He eyed me. “Did we just become best friends?”
“Asshole.” I shoved his shoulder, and he fell to the side laughing.
Before he could respond with another quip, my phone rang. We locked eyes as I dug it from my pocket.
“Ciel,” I answered, putting it on speakerphone.
“The signal!” He shouted, breathless. “The tracker signal is coming through! I found her!”
“We’re coming,” Ryu said, yanking me to my feet. “We’re stopping at the weapons closet to get suited up. Let’s go.”
My pulse thundered in my ears.
We’re coming, princess.