10. Wynn
WYNN
I lost her.
It was the first thought that screamed through my head when I felt myself regaining consciousness, more severe than the intense pain tearing through my torso. It sucked the breath from my lungs, leaving me gasping.
I. Lost. Her.
“Wynn.” My sister’s voice floated around me, but it didn’t matter.
Leona was gone, and it was my fault.
I took her from the penthouse. I didn’t have enough ammo or weapons on me. I couldn’t defeat the men who attacked us. I let them take her.
“Wynn, breathe,” Willow said. A cold hand touched my cheek, and her face swam in my vision.
I didn’t have any breath in my lungs. My entire chest was seizing up. The walls were closing in, like a weight was choking me from the inside out. My limbs shook.
“Leona,” I choked out, but my tongue was too thick and my mouth too dry. “Leona. ”
Willow forced me to look at her. Her hair was a halo of white around her face. “Breathe, little brother.”
It wasn’t the first time she’d had to talk me down from a panic attack.
We’d both used to get them in those early years after we escaped from our trafficking captors.
I’d killed the men who had kidnapped us, sold us, and raped us.
I did it even though I knew murder was wrong.
My chest used to seize at the knowledge that I’d never be free of that stain on my soul.
As soon as I locked on Willow’s face, saw the calm written there, I could finally suck in a breath.
“Where is she?”
How long had it been? Had Ciel received my phone call? Did they know she was gone?
Willow’s pink lips pressed together, her palm soft on my cheek. “When you’re stable enough to transport, we’ll move you home.”
“Willow,” I whispered, moisture beading in the corners of my eyes. “Where is she?”
She sat back, double-checking the monitors currently beeping next to the bed. The more she moved, the more our surroundings became clearer, but I didn’t care. “Your vitals look good.”
Ciel. My brothers. Leona .
“Why aren’t you answering me?”
My palm pressed against my stomach as I tried to sit up, but all it resulted in was a weak thrash before I settled back in the strange bed.
A hospital room came into focus around me, with monitors, cabinets, a sink, a hand sanitizer station, and pale walls painted to give the impression of calm—but it wasn’t Willow’s clinic in Philadelphia, and it wasn’t my room at the penthouse. Where the hell was I?
She sighed and finally faced me again, face hanging in sorrow. Immediately, my eyes clenched closed. No, no, no .
“Please don’t. Don’t tell me she’s gone.”
She sat back down beside me and took my hand. Her bottom lip quivered like it did whenever she was trying to protect me from something. She’d done it all our lives. “They will find her.”
“How long?”
“It’s been a little over two days. You’ve been recovering after surgery and fighting for your life.” She squeezed my fingers, and her voice dropped low. “It’s not your fault, Wynn. Ciel told me how you and Leona left the penthouse together that morning. It is not your fault.”
I tried to pull from her grasp, but I was too weak. Instead, I shook my head. It was my fault. It was my job to keep her safe, and I let her get taken. I never should have let her leave the penthouse. I should have been strong enough or smart enough to get us out of there.
“Do they know who took her? Was it Max?” I asked, fearing the worst. I struggled to sit up again. I had to go after her. I should be with my brothers, searching for the love of our lives.
Willow pressed a gentle hand to my shoulder to keep me down on the bed, and my gut twisted with shame that I wasn’t even strong enough to fight her.
“Take a breath, Wynn.” She leaned over the bed. “With me.”
I inhaled and exhaled slowly to her count. My heart rate slowed slightly, but my brain still raced. I looked around the room for my clothes or shoes. “Where are we? How soon can I move? I need to help.”
She sat down, twisting her hair around her finger and then pushing it behind her shoulders. “I will tell you what I know, but it will upset you. Are you ready for that?”
Dread curdled in my stomach, but I nodded. I needed the truth.
She closed her eyes, then steeled herself. “Albanians.”
It took less than a second for it to sink in.
Albanians .
Traffickers .
The machines started beeping again. My entire body tightened with terror. My heart spasmed inside my chest. “No.”
She was going to live through the same horrors I had.
They would hurt her, scar her, traumatize her because of me .
“They know where she is, and they’re going after her. They will find her, Wynn.”
I shook my head and finally forced myself to sit up, gritting my teeth against the unbearable pain. I couldn’t let her experience that. I couldn’t let them break her the way it broke me. Willow and I were never the same. My soul was stained and rotten because of what I had to do in that place.
How could I have let them take her? How could I have failed her so spectacularly?
And what could I ever do to make up for it?
“You’ll tear your stitches,” Willow said, voice stern. Her doctor voice. “No, I won’t let you hurt yourself. You have to heal.”
“Willow,” I whispered. A tear fell down my cheek. “Willow, we have to get her out of there.”
“I know,” she responded, voice soft. “They will. All you need to do is rest and get strong. When you’re strong, I’ll take you home.”
“Take me home now, Willow,” I pleaded. “Fix me. I can’t sit here while they’re out there. Please. I can heal at home. I have to be there?—”
She raised a hand. “Okay.”
I swallowed. “Okay?”
“You’re far too agitated right now, anyway.
” She sat back in her chair, frowning, with her arms crossed over her chest. “I can transport you, but you have to listen to every word I say. I won’t have an infection setting in, and I won’t have you setting back your progress.
You almost died , Wynn.” She held out her arm, showing me the bandage wrapped around the pit of her elbow.
“I had to save you, and you’ll not waste my blood. ”
I closed my eyes and tried to will back the tears. She’d saved me. Again.
When we were in that house together, and I’d killed the man who held us captive, Willow was the one who led us to safety. Willow was the one who held it together, who kept us alive, while I crumbled. Willow was the one who negotiated a place within the Irish Mob for us.
Why was I always the weakest link?
What if Leona never forgave me?
If I could get home, I could try to fix this. I didn’t give a single shit about my body. All I cared about was getting her back. There was nothing I could do sitting in a bed strapped to machines.
I had to. Helping Leona over the past few months made me feel good. Using my skills for her was a step toward redemption from all the sins of my past. But with this failure, I was so far in the red, I feared I’d never rebalance the scales. I’d never find goodness again.
The pain in my stomach throbbed. I didn’t deserve to. When Leona and my brothers finally realized that, I’d have no place among them.
“Promise me, Wynn. You’ll rest and heal.”
The lie slipped from my tongue easily. “I promise.”