15. Leona
LEONA
S tepping into the penthouse was surreal.
It had only been a few days, but it felt so different. Like I was looking at the world through a cracked lens. Like the peace and beauty I’d always felt walking through these hallways was darkened and blurry.
Maybe it was just because I couldn’t see out of my left eye.
Maybe it was because blood still caked my hands and clothes.
Maybe it was because we’d only scratched the surface of what the Albanians were doing in my city.
Maybe it was because seeing Max, surviving with him, gave me more questions than answers.
Or maybe it was because my body was burning from the inside out with pain, and I’d carry the invisible weight of Buzz Cut pressed into my back for who knew how long.
Nope.
I suppressed a shudder at the dark cloud that settled above my head.
On the yacht, with Penny and the girls, it was easy to think about something else.
But now every footstep felt painful. I didn’t want to feel like shit anymore.
I didn’t want these feelings to ruin how much I loved this penthouse .
I’d cut the man’s eyes from his head, and I’d enjoyed every scream that choked his mouth, but where was the peace? Where was the relief?
Even if Max still wouldn’t tell us the whole truth, he still helped me end that man. He’d come through on his promise, and despite his shit attitude when we got back to the city, he’d kept me…safe. As best as he could. I didn’t quite know what to make of that.
Cas and Ciel had their arms around me, helping me through the front door, past the weapons closet, and to the kitchen.
They parked me on a stool while hovering around, unsure of what to do.
One of my guys had been touching me at all times since we’d left the yacht.
Every brush of fingertips and every look of concern on their faces had tears brewing again.
No .
I’d locked them away to survive until we were off the ship. But now that we were home, everything that had happened threatened to come back in full force. I’d have to face it myself when I looked at my body in the mirror. I’d have to show my men the full extent of what happened.
It made me want to vomit.
I didn’t want to. I wanted to forget it. It happened. It was over. I was home.
I could control all this pain inside me. It didn’t have to ruin my life.
“I’ll grab another med kit,” Obi said. I’d refused their triage care on the boat, instead urging them to care for the women we’d saved. But now, there was no avoiding their attention anymore.
Ryu stomped to the weapons closet and disappeared inside.
He’d been wrapped up in a cover of darkness whenever I’d looked at him.
The logical part of me knew he was in a rage at what he could see on my body.
But the damaged part of me was terrified he thought something was wrong with me—that I’d never be the same as before .
I feared that was true more than I feared Ryu’s hesitant glances.
“What do you need?” Ciel asked, cupping my cheek and pulling me out of the abyss of my thoughts. I looked down at the gore still dried to the cracks in my hands, underneath my nails, and crusted to the sleeves of Max’s suit jacket.
I wanted it all gone. To wash it away and watch it disappear down the drain.
“I want to see Wynn,” I finally said.
“He’s…” His head lifted, caught on something behind me.
I turned.
Wynn leaned against the wall, one hand over the red-stained bandages that criss-crossed his stomach and the other braced on the wall.
“Darling.” His voice broke. He was so deathly pale. His eyes were sunken behind dark circles and sallow skin.
I stood from the island stool so quickly it clattered to the ground behind me. I sprinted across the room, catching myself before I slammed into him. I didn’t want to knock him flat, but I wrapped my arms around his neck. He was here . He was alive .
“ Wynn ,” I cried into his neck. The tears I’d been trying to lock up flowed again. His body trembled, wracked with sobs of his own. “You’re alive. I thought you were dead.”
“I’m so sorry, darling,” he whispered. “I’m sorry for everything. I can’t?—”
“No,” I whimpered. How the hell he was standing? “I’m the sorry one.”
I was the one who talked him into leaving after he’d warned me it wasn’t safe. I was the one who’d made him let his guard down. I had been overconfident and self-absorbed, and that had almost gotten him killed.
He shook his head, pulling back to cradle my face. Bruises covered his face. His eyes were red with tears. “I failed you.”
“Stop,” I begged, wrapping my arms around him again. “No. ”
Behind him, I caught a glance of Willow hanging back by the door to Wynn’s room, giving us space. Thank God for Willow. She’d saved two of my men so far, and used her resources to help the other girls. I owed her so much.
Another set of arms wrapped around my back, and I flinched at the pressure of a body against mine before I inhaled Ciel’s scent.
With my eyes closed, it transported me right back to that icy cell.
But I pushed down the revulsion building in the back of my throat.
Wynn’s warmth at my front, and Ciel’s at my back, was real .
They were my men. They would never hurt me.
Another body crowded closer. Cas, on the other side of Wynn.
“A group hug, and nobody invited me?” Ryu teased as he, too, joined. A moment later, Obi came on his other side.
As their bodies crowded around me, the tears fell in waves. The memories threatened to burst forth, but that would just make everything worse. No, all I needed was these few moments of vulnerability. They held me up as my legs almost gave out, and I sobbed into Wynn’s chest.
I was so grateful to be home. I’d fought my way free, and my men had been there, exactly as I hoped they would be. I’d survived.
“You came for me,” I said to the six of us, still crammed in a hug. “Thank you for coming. I don’t know how much longer I could have lasted.”
“I will always find you, baby girl,” Ciel whispered. “I will follow you anywhere.”
“Can’t live without the other half of my soul,” Cas grumbled, his voice choked with emotion. “There’s no way in hell we would have left you there.”
“You’re ours ,” Ryu added. “Anyone who lays a hand on you will burn.”
“The Shadows need our queen,” Obi said simply .
It was without a doubt the worst three days of my life, but it had to have been a living hell for them, too.
Once my cheeks dried of tears, I promised myself all this pain could stay in our past. The only thing that mattered was confronting our future head on.