19. Leona
LEONA
I sat straight up in the dark, chest heaving. Where was I? I pawed for my knife, but all I felt was soft sheets and warm bodies nestled close.
Nightmares .
I was home. I had fallen asleep on the bed Ryuji had made in the living room. The six of us, even Wynn, had crowded around each other after the guys had force-fed me some veggie-loaded soup. I’d fallen asleep almost immediately, and now I was just having a nightmare.
I didn’t dream of Max and all the ways he’d ruined my life like I usually did.
Tonight, I dreamt of the pit of that ship, except countless other people, broken and in pain, surrounded me.
They’d been trapped, beaten, raped. They were crying out for help, begging me to help them get free, but I was stuck in the cages with them and could do nothing but scream.
What if I couldn’t get them out?
What if I was stuck there forever?
I sucked in a ragged breath, wiping sweat from my brow and trying to reorient myself.
At some point, Wynn and Ciel had disappeared and been replaced by Cas and Ryuji.
I remembered Ciel kissing my cheek, saying he was going to take Wynn to his room and get him some extra pain meds.
But then I’d felt Cas at my front, and Ryu’s arm tight around my waist, and I’d drifted back to sleep within moments.
Cas’s warm body was plastered beside me, but he didn’t move despite my frantic intake of breath. Ryu’s arm was loose around my waist, and his eyebrows furrowed in his sleep.
Where was Obi?
My eyes snapped up. There. He sat in the lounge chair across the room, pulled next to the fireplace to make room for the massive bed. His eyes met mine across the darkness. Of course, he would be awake.
He opened his arms, and I didn’t hesitate to crawl out from the tangle of limbs. Ryu groaned, his arm tightening around me. I brushed a finger across his brow, and he released his grip.
I made a beeline straight for Obi and folded myself in his lap—barely containing the sob threatening to tear from my throat. More fucking tears. Goddamnit . I wanted them to stop . I was home now. I was safe .
Fear choked me, half remnants from the nightmare and half from the worries that had plagued my mind since I’d gotten home.
Eight women in the cargo hold.
Six returned safely.
Nausea churned in my stomach.
Why did I get rescued but they didn’t?
What if my hands never stopped trembling?
What if everyone looked at me, and all they could see were the scars on my skin?
I had to get this under control. I could manage it.
I could hide how much everything hurt so no one would know about the shame and the guilt.
Wordlessly, Obi’s arms tightened around me and he stood, carrying me with one arm under my knees and the other banded behind my back. He walked through the living room and down the hallway to the library. With a gentle kick, the door clicked shut behind us.
“ Nke’m, ” he whispered while sitting down on the leather couch. He placed me in his lap. He’d been so gentle earlier, when he’d carefully stitched the wound running down my face. He’d offered to call a surgeon, but I’d refused. I wanted him to do it. I didn’t want anyone else to see me like this.
I knew Willow had told my men about my injuries.
I’d seen each of them staring at the bandages on my chest where Buzz Cut had raked his nails into my skin.
And that was exactly why I didn’t want to talk about it more.
They’d look at me differently. They already were.
Whether it was pity or vengeance that filled their eyes, I didn’t want any of it.
Obi, at least, had kept his features passive while he stitched it close.
He’d murmured words of encouragement, praised me for holding so still, and called me a warrior.
I didn’t feel like a warrior. I felt like a wounded animal, confined to her den and hidden away, while a black spot developed inside my soul and stained it.
Shame was a strange emotion. Logically, I knew nothing that happened to me was my fault.
I knew Buzz Cut deserved to die for what he did.
But the shame that had overtaken me when I caught my guys looking at my bruises and the scratch marks was blistering.
It made the pain of the wounds pale in comparison.
Control it.
Obi had been so tender. He’d kept careful control over everything he’d felt, and that was what I needed. That’s why I’d asked for him.
I felt so fucking out of control. We needed a plan to deal with the Vokshi Clan, Max, and the Camorra. I needed to busy myself. I could already picture the guys forcing me to stay safe in the penthouse until I had healed—or even longer.
But that was not happening .
My arms tightened around Obi’s neck. I bit my lip until it bled to keep the tears at bay, but one stubborn drop rolled out of my bad eye. It stung the stitches.
My eye . The scar. Would I still feel like myself with it branded on my face? Would it remind me of that dark, cold cell?
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, swiping a thumb across my cheek. I leaned into his touch. “I am so sorry I couldn’t protect you from this. I am so sorry I failed you.”
My lips trembled. “It’s not your fault.”
I didn’t blame them. I was trying not to blame myself. Blame wouldn’t get us anywhere. Moving on, however, would.
“I wish I could take this pain from you and carry it myself.”
I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent. Even though we’d had our miscommunications and our struggles in the past, he still made me feel safe. He’d always made me feel safe.
“Will you tell me what happened on the ship?” His voice rumbled in his chest while he played with the ends of my hair. Even my waves were limp and lifeless.
I curled in on myself slightly, clenching my eyes closed without answering.
“All right. Let us talk about Max, then,” he murmured, warm hand splaying on my lower back. “Just Max. If you feel comfortable.”
My entire body was in pain, but my heart might hurt the worst.
“He protected me. He…comforted me. He helped me break out of our cell. Then we broke the other girls free from the cargo hold and fought our way to the bridge. He protected them, too,” I answered.
He’d fought with me, beside me, as much as he could.
Even though I was furious he was still hiding something from me, I couldn’t have gotten free without his help. “I don’t understand him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why didn’t he kill me?” I whispered. “He’d tried multiple times in the past. He had plenty of chances to let me die on that ship.
He didn’t have to put himself at risk to keep me safe.
I know escaping together was also part of his own self-preservation, but…
” I trailed off, thinking of how he’d held me as I cried and tried to cheer me up with stories of our mothers.
“When we spoke in our cell, he told me he wanted me to run away from this life, but once I got involved, he couldn’t let me ruin his years of work. ”
“There’s more happening than either of us knows.” His voice went thoughtful, contemplative. “Perhaps the truth lies in his connection with the Camorra.”
“His alliance.”
Obi’s grip on me tightened. “Yes. It will be difficult to face both of them.”
I knew Obi wanted to destroy the Camorra because of what they’d done to his family. Max aligning himself with them only made him a greater enemy, but we weren’t strong enough to take on both of them at once.
We’d ordered Giulio and our Italian men to fight against Max on the streets. The Russians were putting pressure on Max’s drug trade. We had taken a huge portion of his income through our deal with Anton Felix in Los Angeles. We were making strides at setting up our syndicate to take over New York.
But it wouldn’t be enough if the Camorra came after us, too. We didn’t have near enough men. Not when Max still owned the Tommasos, Chiara was missing, and the other Families were wildcards.
From our perspective, I had a dozen complicated reasons not to kill him. Yet.
For him, he had none.
“I still don’t understand. If Max had wanted to kill me, he easily could have.”
“I agree,” Obi answered. I settled against his chest, allowing his warmth to blanket me. “So the logical conclusion is that he does not want to kill you.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why, after everything, wouldn’t he want that?”
There were so many answers to that question, and none of them made sense.
Obi hmm’d , the sound thick in his chest. “If it were me, it would be because I still had use for you.”
“You think he wants to use me?”
“Yes.”
My eyebrows knit together as I flipped through everything he said, trying to understand what he could use me for. Instead of reaching an answer, I went in circles until I groaned in frustration.
“Tell me,” Obi said, smoothing his thumb over the crease between my eyes. I nuzzled my face into his neck again. His hands gripped my thighs. “What are you thinking?”
“I can’t decide if I’m more concerned about why he’s done all these things or what he wants from me.
Maybe we should have just killed him on the yacht and been done with it.
” I pulled back. My feelings about Max were so fucking complicated.
Amid all that pain, he’d still been there.
He’d still protected me. But I was only on that ship in the first place because of what he and my father had done.
“I blame him that we were taken, and that he’s lied to me all this time, but I’m grateful he was there.
And I can’t make sense of those two things. ”
“You need time to process.” He picked up my fingers and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. They were probably the only parts of my body that didn’t hurt right now. “We all do.”
My eyes unfocused as I saw my nightmare play across my eyelids. Those people, trapped like I had been, screamed to be free.
“I’m afraid no amount of processing is ever going to make me sleep again. Every time I close my eyes, I see the man who hurt me and his yellow teeth. And then I think of all the women he’s probably raped before, and I’m so fucking livid men like him exist.”
His eyes flitted across my face, and his voice went even softer. “What do you need? What can we do?”
My jaw worked as I considered his questions. I needed a plan. I needed to do something, not just sit here and stew in my tears.
We took out one of their ships, but that couldn’t be the only one. How many people were jammed into cells, waiting to be hurt? Drugged? Assaulted? Raped?
Penny said there was an auction with dozens of women. It happened right under our noses.
How many people had the Vokshi Clan trafficked? How many were waiting to be rescued, yet believing no one would come?
They had to be stopped.
I’d made a promise to Wynn before that we’d eliminate trafficking in New York, but that wasn’t enough anymore. Not for me, not for Wynn. The Vokshi Clan had to be ended once and for all so the suffering could end.
If they were dead, and the rest of their victims were free, then I could forget. I could move on.
The pain would disappear with their lives.
“We need to eliminate the Vokshi, and stop their entire enterprise so they cannot hurt anyone else.”
“I will bring you their heads on a silver platter.”
It was a solemn vow. But would that help?
I pictured how I’d feel if I sat in this penthouse and waited for the Albanians to die. Would it be enough?
Then I pictured what it would be like to hunt them down myself. To feel my blade slice through their jugulars. To pull my trigger with a bullet that shattered their skulls. My hands clenched.
“No. I will do it myself.”
His hand cupped the back of my head, and he pulled me forward so he could press his lips to my cheek. The gentle touch had my hands clenching on his shoulders.
“As you wish.”
My eyes widened. “That’s it?”
Obi had always maneuvered me for his own goals, and despite his previous promise that he’d stop trying to manipulate us, his easy compliance to my demands was still surprising.
“All you have to do is speak the word and we will do this for you.” He brushed some hair out of my face. I opened my mouth to protest, but he pressed a finger to my lips. “We will do it together.”
“What about Max?” I asked.
His earnestness bled into a practiced calm. “Max is a problem that requires a solution. His past actions are not erased because you escaped together.”
“I know.” I frowned. “But what about the Camorra? What if he comes after us?”
“Then he would be a fool,” he replied. “Max is just as injured as you. He will need time to recuperate. In the meantime, we will make preparations and plans. With our men, the Russians, and the Irish, we now present a formidable force he’ll have to consider before he makes another move against us.”
“What about Lucia Greco?”
We’d captured Max’s hacker, the granddaughter of the Head of the Camorra, and she’d been in the care of Giulio’s men ever since. Before I’d been kidnapped, we were trying to figure out what to do with her.
“We will return her,” Obi said. “So we don’t draw their ire while we’re focusing on this.”
Yeah, that was smart. I gusted a breath while picking at the edge of my shirt and trying to solidify this plan in my head.
“Okay. We’ll go after the Vokshi Clan, but we can’t let up against him either.
We have to split our efforts: taking down their trafficking, but continuing to be a thorn in Max’s side. Do we have the manpower to do it?”
“Yes.”
I nodded. More and more plans took shape within my head. We’d start with the ships. If I was on a ship, there had to be more. Then, we’d need to hit Max hard enough to back him off for good.
My thumb swirled my engagement ring around my finger. “Okay, so?—”
“Shh, ifunanya’m ,” he whispered. He whispered more Igbo in my ear while his arm tightened around me and his hand guided my head back to his chest. “We will gain enough power that no one can threaten us again. This I swear to you. But rest now. Heal first.”
His body enveloped mine. I looked up to his face, drawing from his strength and calm.
His head tilted down, and he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.
It was so tender it had tears pricking my eyes again, and it was over in a moment.
When he pulled away, he kissed my fingertips again and clutched my hand to his chest.
He was warm. Sturdy. Safe.
His hand drew soft circles against my back while my eyes fluttered closed.