Chapter 17 Liam #2
You don’t. Because I just cheated on you and I can’t even say it.
“Em, please—”
“I need space.” She turned toward the stairs. “I need to think.”
“Wait—”
She stopped. Didn’t turn around.
“Is there anything else you’re not telling me?” she asked.
The question hung in the air.
Yes. I kissed him. In a closet. And then I let him go down on me. Let him suck me off. And it felt more right than anything I’ve felt with you in months.
But I couldn’t say it. Obviously.
“No,” I said.
She nodded slowly. Like she’d expected that answer but hoped for a different one.
“That’s what I thought.”
She walked away.
I stood in the hallway alone, my hand still tingling from where it had touched Alex’s chest, the taste of him still in my mouth, and I knew everything was falling apart.
Not because Emily had caught us doing something physical.
But because I’d lied to her about something that mattered. Because I’d put Alex above her. Above myself. Above everything I’d worked for.
Because I’d cheated on her and couldn’t even admit it.
And she knew something was wrong.
Even if I wouldn’t say it—she knew.
***
Back in the dorm, Noah was at his desk, headphones half-on, scrolling through something on his laptop. He looked up when I came in.
Saw my face.
“Shit,” he said, pulling his headphones off. “What happened?”
I sat on my bed. Stared at the wall for a second.
“Emily knows we broke into Kingswell.”
His chair creaked as he spun to face me. “Wait... she didn’t know what we were doing?”
“No, because I knew she’d freak.” I ran my hands through my hair. “She’s pissed. Says I lied to her. That she can’t trust me anymore.”
“I mean...” Noah made a face.
“I know.”
“So what now?”
“She needs time. To think about us.”
Noah was quiet for a moment. “You think she’s gonna break up with you?”
“Probably.” The word came out flat. Empty.
“And how do you feel about that?”
I opened my mouth. Closed it.
Guilty. Definitely guilty. Emily didn’t deserve this. But also... relieved? Which made me feel like even more of an asshole.
“I don’t know,” I said finally.
Noah leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “Okay, but what about Alex?”
My stomach tightened. “What about him?”
“Come on, man.” Noah gave me a look. “I’m not stupid.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really? Because when you guys were hiding in that closet, it sounded like—“ He paused. “It sounded like you were kissing.”
My heart hammered against my ribs. It was much more than that.
Don’t say anything. Don’t confirm it. Just—
But I couldn’t lie to Noah after everything he’d done for me tonight. So I didn’t say anything at all.
Noah watched me. Waiting. The silence stretched between us, moments passing like hours.
“This isn’t just a rivalry, is it?” he asked.
My throat felt tight. I looked at the ceiling, at those water stains I’d never noticed before tonight. Anywhere but at Noah.
“No.” The word came out rough. “It’s so much more than that.”
Another beat of silence.
Then Noah’s voice, softer now: “I’m here for you, man. No matter what.”
Something in my chest loosened. Just a little.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
I nodded. Couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t handle the kindness in his voice right now when I felt like I was falling apart.
I lay back on my bed and the ceiling swam in and out of focus.
What the hell just happened?
I pissed off Emily because I lied. I kissed Alex in a closet. And now I’d basically just come out to Noah without actually saying the words.
Three major life events in one night.
My phone buzzed.
I pulled it out, hoping for Emily. Hoping she’d changed her mind, that we could talk, that I could fix this somehow.
But it wasn’t Emily.
Alex
Made it back. Thanks for tonight.
My heart did something stupid in my chest.
Alex. Texting me. Like this was normal. Like we hadn’t just—
Noah saw my face. “That him?”
“Yeah.”
I stared at the message. My thumbs hovered over the keyboard.
What was I supposed to say? What did this mean? Were we—
Fuck it. It was all broken anyway.
Liam
Yeah. Anytime.
I hit send before I could overthink it.
Three dots appeared immediately. Disappeared. Appeared again.
Alex
We should talk about what happened.
We should, but not tonight. I was too raw. Too confused. Too guilty about Emily and too terrified about what talking to Alex would actually mean.
Liam
Tomorrow?
Alex
Tomorrow.
I put my phone down on my chest.
Tomorrow I’d figure out what the hell was happening between us. Tomorrow I’d start dealing with the Emily situation. Tomorrow I’d start being honest about who I was and what I wanted.
But tonight... tonight I’d just come out to Noah. I’d admitted it. Not explicitly, but close enough.
And what if he told someone? What if it got back to the team? What if Emily found out I’d kissed Alex?
“Hey,” I said, voice rough. “Noah.”
“Yeah?”
I sat up. Looked at him.
“Just... don’t say anything to anyone. About this. About Alex. About—“ I gestured vaguely. “Any of it.”
Noah’s expression softened. “Dude. Of course not. That’s not my thing to tell.”
“I’m serious. If the team found out—“
“Liam.” He cut me off. “I’m not gonna say anything. I promise.”
I nodded. Let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah.”
I lay back down. The ceiling stared back at me, indifferent.
Everything was different now. Emily was gone—or would be soon. Alex was... something. And Noah knew.
One person knew.
That should’ve terrified me more than it did. But mostly I just felt tired. Exhausted down to my bones.
I closed my eyes and let myself remember it.
The closet. Alex’s mouth on mine and his hands in my hair. The way he’d looked at me when he’d dropped to his knees. Those blue eyes staring up at me while he took me in his mouth, the heat and pressure and the sounds he’d made like he was getting off on it too.
I still couldn’t believe it happened.
And it didn’t feel like just a blow job. It felt like coming home. Like everything I’d been missing without knowing it, and the beginning of something I couldn’t name yet.
Even if it scared the shit out of me.
Tomorrow I’d start being honest.
But tonight, I just let myself want him.