Chapter 26
Winnie
“Are you ever going to let him apologize?” Liliana asks softly.
“No. I know where I stand with him and I think it’s better if I just leave now…
Are you sure he’s at work?” I glance at his house at the end of the street and pray he isn't there. I don’t have the energy to get into an argument with him right now.
I just want to get a bag of things to hold me over for a few weeks.
“Yeah, I called Smithy. He’s been taking Tali to the stadium for practices and she sits with Macy or Charlie. He’s lucky they’ve had home games since you went into the hospital, but I don’t know what he’ll do when they go away next week.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to think about that right now,” I groan, covering my face with my hands.
“Are you walking away forever?”
“No… I don’t know! Maybe it’s better if I do.”
“Better for who?” Liliana pins me with a look as we pull into Jamie’s driveway.
“Everyone! We fell too hard and too fast. This was doomed from the beginning. And Tali isn't my daughter, Lils. I’ve never had an issue keeping that in mind, but with Tali, I do. I view her as my daughter and Jamie’s right.
I pushed and pushed until he did what I thought was best, but I'm not her mother.”
I climb out of the car, holding my side as I go. I'm still in pain, but I refuse to recover here. I can go somewhere else and give us both time to think. Time away from each other to figure out what we really want.
I unlock the front door and head straight to my room. I don’t want to spend time in the living room or see anything that will remind me of Jamie. I grab a duffle bag out of my closet and start shoving clothes in it before Liliana even enters my room.
“Don’t you dare let everything he said impact what you do. Emotions were high that night, Winnie. He was destroyed when he got to the hospital. He didn’t know what happened to Tali or why the two of you were in the hospital. He was so tunnel visioned; he couldn’t think straight.”
“It doesn’t matter. What he said… He wasn’t wrong. Just because it hurt to hear doesn’t mean it was wrong.”
“Are you ever going to talk to him or are you just going to run away because you started getting feelings that were too strong for your liking?” She places her hands on her hips and stares me down.
“Excuse me?”
“C’mon, Winnie! We both know when feelings get too strong, you run. You’re so worried about someone breaking your heart, so you break theirs first. If you’re the one to end things, you can't get hurt. You’ve done it to Wheeler countless times.”
“That’s not what happened with Wheeler,” I mumble as I zipper up the bag and head into my bathroom to grab a few things.
I might need to make an online order to have some things delivered to me because my toothbrush and most of my other toiletries are in Jamie’s bathroom, but I can't bring myself to go in there.
Seeing his bed and knowing I’ll never get to sleep in it ever again will hurt too much. I know if I start crying, I’ll never stop.
“Are you kidding me! I don’t know why you won't let yourself be happy. You deserve to find a man who loves you, but you won’t let it happen! You’re constantly sabotaging your own happily ever after.”
“We can't all have a Travis Smith in our lives.” I roll my eyes.
“But that’s the thing! You’ve had two of them, Winnie. Get your head out of your misery and don’t let him go. One day you’re going to wake up and regret everything. When Jamie and Wheeler find their happily ever afters with someone other than you, I don’t want you to come crying to me.”
“Why don’t you just go? I can walk to Wheeler’s from here.” I glare at her.
“Please! You can't even pick up your duffle bag and you want me to believe you can walk half a mile? I live next door to Wheeler, you can walk from there. Get in the car, Winnie.”
She tosses my bag over her shoulder and marches out of the room without another word.
A weight settles on the side of the bed, making the mattress dip. I keep my eyes closed, not sure who it is, but I’m going to pretend I'm sleeping until I know for sure.
“Do you want to tell me why you’re sleeping in my guest room?” Wheeler whispers as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Nope. I’d prefer to keep that to myself.”
“Ok. Then, would you like to tell me why you have a massive bandage on your stomach and you’ve been in the hospital for three days?”
“Mmm, I think I want to plead the fifth with that one too.”
“Win, talk to me.” The concern in his voice has my eyes filling with tears and I know if my eyes were open, Wheeler would be asking even more questions.
“I'm fine, Chase. I just want to sleep.”
“I’ll go through your bags until I find your discharge papers.”
“Good luck, I tossed them at the hospital so you couldn’t read them.” I smirk. It’s a lie, but he’ll believe it.
“I know you like being the tough independent woman, but I'm here for you, babe. I'm happy to talk about whatever you want.”
“Thanks,” I whisper. “I don’t want to talk though.”
“What can I do to make things better?”
“Can you just hold me for a little… As a friend?” I peek up at him and catch the smile spreading across his face.
“I’d be happy to hold my best friend while she’s going through a difficult time.”
“Please don’t tell me you told me so or some crap like that,” I murmur as I scoot closer, laying my head on his chest.
Wheeler’s careful as he wraps his arms around me. No one knows I had surgery, except Liliana and I made her swear she wouldn’t tell anyone.
I don’t want people to pity me or give me a pass because I got hurt. I want them to be honest and raw with me.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted and I finally got it with Jamie. Then I ruined it.
“Ok, I’ve let you mope around my house for three days. I want to know what happened.” Wheeler blocks me from leaving the kitchen.
I'm not even hungry, but I'm forcing myself to eat because I know my body needs it to heal.
“You know what happened. I was in a car accident.” I roll my eyes and try to step around him, but he doesn’t let me.
“Nah, babe. What’s with the bandage?” He lifts the hem of my shirt and his eyes go wide when he doesn’t find a dressing on it.
I saw Dr. Devine yesterday and he said I was ok without it. I just need to wear soft clothes and make sure I keep it clean.
“Winnie…” he whispers, squatting down to get a better look at the incision going up the middle of my stomach. It begins an inch above my belly button and goes to right below my bra.
He brushes his fingers along my skin, making sure to stay away from my wound. I forgot how gentle Wheeler’s always been with me. Tears gather quickly and I squeeze my eyes shut. I'm so tired of being an emotional mess.
“What happened, Win? I'm worried about you.”
“My spleen ruptured. I almost died. I knew something was wrong when we crashed and I called Liliana after I called the cops because I wasn’t sure I was going to make it,” I whisper. “I needed to know Tali would be ok.”
Wheeler stares at me as his eyes water and he tugs me into his arms as gently as he can. He buries his head in the crook of my neck and doesn’t let me go.
“Why didn’t you tell me? It kills me to know you went through all of that alone. You know I would’ve been at the hospital for you. I would’ve done anything to help you. I don’t even want to think about living without you, Win. You’re my best friend. Man, you must’ve been terrified.”
“I don’t think I really thought about myself. I was too worried about Tali.”
“How long do you need to rest for?”
“At least four weeks, but Dr. Devine said it could be up to twelve weeks. It was major surgery.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“I don’t know, Wheeler. I just didn’t want pity. Is that so bad?”
“I think you wanted to be alone and didn’t want anyone around. You’ve barely even let Liliana come over.”
“I can take care of myself, I just need a bedroom to sleep in.”
“You know my house is always open for you. I’d still happily let you move in. I know we’ll never be more than friends again, and I'm ok with that. I still care about you.”
“Thanks, Chase,” I whisper, hugging him a little tighter. He’s the type of friend I need right now.