23. Chapter 20
Sloan
Iwoke up and reached for Jax, and was instantly disappointed when the spot he occupied last night was empty and cold.
I let out a sharp breath and pull on a hoodie and some fuzzy socks, throw my hair in a messy bun, and grab my phone. I need to call him and thank him, but first, I need a cup of coffee.
I open my door that leads right to the living room, and stop dead in my tracks when the smell of coffee and bacon fills my room.
He stayed.
That thought makes my heart flutter and a smile spreads across my face.
When I walk out of my room, I take in the living room and kitchen area in front of me.
There is a small blanket on the couch with one of the pillows from my bed covering the arm rest. His hoodie is laying over the arm, and his shoes are on the floor next to the coffee table.
Jax is in the kitchen with his earbuds in, dancing and quietly singing along with the music as he bounces between the stove and coffee pot.
I decide at this moment that I love the sight of him making himself at home here.
He turns to grab a plate out of the cabinet, and when he sees me standing there, he immediately smiles and pulls one earbud out of his ear.
“I hope you’re hungry.” His smile is bright, and his blue eyes are even brighter.
He’s wearing his jeans slung low and a white t-shirt, and that’s it. It’s simple, understated, and absolutely sexy as hell.
“I’m starving. I thought you left,” I say, taking the cup of coffee he hands me across the island.
“There is no way I was leaving you alone last night. I wanted to be here if you woke up in the middle of the night and needed a friend to talk to.”
His use of the word friend feels wrong to me at this moment. He’s more than that to me.
“What are you making?” I ask, not wanting to explore that thought anymore right now.
“I ran to the corner store and picked up some eggs and bacon.” He turns back towards the stove and plates us both some food.
“It smells great.”
“Thanks.” He smiles. “Ozzie swears that a good breakfast is the best reset when shit falls apart.” He laughs. “He makes us both breakfast every day.”
“I mean… he’s been through the wringer.” I giggle at the image of the two of them eating breakfast together every morning. “So he must know what he’s talking about.
“So—” He starts to speak, but I cut him off.
“Can we talk about it after breakfast?” I ask, not ready to pop this little bubble we’re in.
He sets the plate down in front of me and kisses the top of my head. “Of course.”
“Did you sleep ok?” I love my couch, but I’m not sure I’d want to sleep on it all night.
"I did," he says though it doesn't sound totally truthful, probably just being polite. But then he adds, "The blanket and pillow smell like you," and I can see the sincerity in his face.
“You seem like you’re in a really good mood this morning, so it must have helped you sleep.” I giggle.
“It did. Plus I’m a morning person.” He takes a bite of bacon, and it’s so cute.
We sit in the most comfortable silence for a few minutes—each eating our food and sipping our coffee.
We glance across the table at one another, and each smile. It’s the simplest game of silent flirting I’ve ever played, and I love it.
He looks down at his phone when it rumbles on the table next to him, and his jaw ticks. It’s subtle, but there.
“What was it?” I ask. Noting the slightest shift in his demeanor.
“An email updating the team on Anderson’s closing performance with Cirque du Soleil.”
“Not a fan of his?” I ask, taking a bite of eggs.
“He’s great,” he lies.
I give him a knowing glance and take a sip of my coffee.
“He’s a great guy,” he laughs. “He’s just… it’s not even him.”
“Jax, tell me.”
“With the draft looming, it… him being added to the roster…” His words are caught in his throat. “It just feels like a countdown.”
He lets out a long exhale and runs his hands over his face.
The hurt in his expression is what prompts me to move to his side and push him against the back of the seat so I can straddle his lap.
I tilt his chin so he’s looking up at me as I do so, but it doesn’t comfort him. It darkens his gaze.
“That’s understandable,” I say, brushing my knuckles over his cheek, and he leans into the contact and closes his eyes. That’s the comfort I was hoping for.
“He’s good, Sloan. And that scares the shit out of me.”
“It’s ok,” I say, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.
When my lips touch his skin, he moves his hand to the nape of my neck, holding me there so his lips can meet mine.
This kiss is different from the ones before, there is no urgency, no heat. Just desire, lust, and want tied in a soft bow.
I part my lips, making room for him, before suddenly cringing and pulling back for a second. I haven’t brushed my teeth.
His eyes darken again. “Do you want me to stop?”
“I have to brush my teeth,” I say softly.
He strengthens his grip on my neck just a touch, holding me in place again. As if he didn’t hear me, he kisses me again. This time with a little more urgency.
“Jax,” I say against his lips.
“I don’t fucking care, Sloan.” He moves to kiss my throat, right on my pulse point. The contact makes my heart race. “I want you. In every version you will allow me to explore.”
His hands are now resting on my thighs, his fingers dancing on my flesh.
I’ve never been so aware of my skin before.
“Jax.” I mean it to come out more as a plea to let me go brush my teeth, but it comes out as a moan.
My weak protest results in him placing both hands on my ass and lifting me as he stands, carrying me to the bedroom, and leaving our breakfast on the table to get cold.
I could already feel him hardening below me. I could feel his length against me each time I shifted slightly in his lap. Making my arousal pool between my thighs.
He lays me gently on the bed and as he stands and pulls off his shirt, my cheeks heat at the sight of a small wet spot on his growing bulge. I’m not sure if it’s from him or me, but my instincts tell me it’s the latter.
I’ve never been this wet before.
He hooks his hands under my knees placing my feet on the bed so my knees are bent.
When my feet are where he wants them, he slides his hands up my legs, to the top of my thighs, and then over the curves of my hips, and as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of my sleep shorts, his voice comes out deep and sharp. “Can I?”
I nod in approval, and he slides my shorts and panties down. I lift a little off the bed, to help them slide down easier, and take a second to admire the muscles in his shoulders as he tosses them to the floor.
His eyes travel up my legs, and stop when they reach the top of my thighs.
“Sloan.” My name coming off his lips. The admiration in his voice. The heat in his eyes makes me hitch a breath as I take him in. I’ve never felt this sexy. This seen.
He moves his hands up my body, slightly moving my hoodie up with his touch. A touch that almost burns me.
Again, he looks for approval. “This too?” he asks.
I sit up and help him pull it over my head, and when the fabric clears my face. His lips are on mine again.
“I want to touch you, can I touch you?”
“Jax,” I moan between kisses.
“I’m not doing anything you don’t want. Sloan. You’ve been hesitant to let me in. So, I’m not moving an inch, exploring an inch of you, unless you tell me I can.”
“Touch me,” I all but beg.
“Where?” My cheeks heat again. He’s going to make me say it.
“Everywhere,” I answer.
He stops kissing me and his eyes are daggers on mine.
I can’t say it. I’ve never talked dirty to anyone… Never even talked at all. Looking back Tanner preferred silent obedience during sex.
I lay back, grab one of his hands and move it in the direction of my breast, and nudge the other towards the center of my thighs. I might not be able to find the words, but I know what I want.
He smiles a crooked smile, and positions himself next to me. Instead of using his hands to explore my chest, he kisses down the column of my neck, to the swell of my breast, and takes my nipple into his mouth.
“Oh, shit,” I moan when he pulls it between his lips firmly.
His other hand dances lazy circles around the opening of my pussy. Gently grazing my skin, my clit, but never making strong contact. His fingers, though slightly hovering above me, are coated in my arousal.
“Can I?” he asks, nudging my lips apart and waiting for my response.
“Jax!” I cry out in frustration.
“Say it,” he demands, and this time his voice is dark and raw.
“Yes,” I say, biting my bottom lip.
His finger circles my clit once, and then dives inside. “You are so fucking wet,” he growls before returning to my nipples.
He moves his finger in and out with a come hither motion, but it’s not enough. It’s not what I want. He’s waiting for me to take control.
I slide my hands down his chest, and work to release his cock. It’s hard, yet smooth in my grip. He bucks his hips a little at the contact, and brings his lips to mine again.
“Jax.” I break our kiss. I take a long breath in and close my eyes, searching for the words. The courage to ask for what I want, but they don’t come.
“Say it,” he demands again.
“I can’t,” I admit. “I don’t know how to. I’ve never had someone ask me what I want.” His eyes shoot open in surprise and then soften a bit. “But I don’t want you to keep asking me. I’m here, naked, and I want you. Whatever you’ll give me, Jax.” My voice is shaking. “Just give it to me.”
“I want to know what you like.” He kisses my shoulder.
I think for a second. “I don’t know. I’ve only had sex in one position.”
That makes him pause. “Sloan, have you ever been touched? Tasted? Worshiped?”
I swallow, and that’s the only answer he needs. His eyes fall. When they meet mine again, there is a possessiveness there. A hunger, and hidden beneath it in a shallow pool, just below the surface, is satisfaction that he might be the first.
“Sloan,” his voice is soft, just above a whisper. “I can give myself to you, but I need to know what you are willing to give to me. Because, I’ll take it all, and I won’t stop until you’re mine, all of you.”
My stomach flips. I don’t know what that entails, but I really want to. He wants to own me, and it’s the first time I honestly feel like I’m not losing something in the process, because he wants me to own him too.
Give ourselves to each other.
“Touch me.” I swallow. “T-t-taste me, and fill me.” I swallow again. “Take it all,” I seal my permission with a kiss.
He lays me flat on the mattress. “No. I’m going to worship you,” he promises.
Holy shit. I’m going to have sex with Jax Calder.