42. Chapter 39
Sloan
Mexico was so relaxing, but I really just wanted to get back so we could make progress towards Jax moving in.
He emailed his landlord the next day from Mexico, and luckily he only had to pay two months rent to break his lease.
Horner had apparently arranged some deal with the management company for the players in case they had to move teams.
Today, Jax is moving in. Rikki helped him pack up all of his things, and took most of the furniture from their apartment and used it to finally furnish his own. Jax says it looks like a sad excuse for a bachelor pad with a bed and beanbag. That’s why no one ever hangs out over there.
Me: Maybe we should tell Rikki to take my kitchen table. Do you think the one from your place will fit in my dining room?
I don’t even have time to set my phone down before Jax is texting me back.
Jax: I’ll make it fit.
I laugh at his quick response.
I start unpacking some of the boxes he brought over last night and feel the heat building inside me at the thought of us having another fun night with the table.
He has one more load of boxes, and after they get the rest moved to Rikki’s place, he will officially live here.
While he was packing, I started moving some things around to make room for another human in my space. When Tanner and I broke up and I moved here, I had zero intention of ever sharing this space with someone else—until I caught Jax looking and couldn’t look away.
I cleared out one side of the garage for his car, donated some of my clothes to make room in the closet for him, and took some of my pictures off the wall so he can hang some of the photos he had up at his place.
There was a gallery wall in their apartment that he and Ozzie created that I fell in love with.
It’s full of pictures from their training camp when they joined the team.
They’re all black and white pictures and I want to recreate it here.
If I add a few of me playing football, and some of our vacation in Mexico, it will be a great addition to our space.
I start pulling the pictures out of his boxes and setting them on the floor in front of the wall. I move them around and arrange them until the pattern is perfect, and all the photos are interwoven and evenly dispersed. I didn’t want too many of me or him alone next to each other.
As I start hanging them one by one, I start taking note of the small difference in both of us since these pictures were taken.
In the pictures of Jax and the guys when they joined the Moonshots, he has such a baby face.
Not an ounce of scruff to be found. His eyes are soft and his smile almost looks too big for his face.
He’s filled out a lot since then, and in the pictures I hang from Mexico, he and Ozzie look more chiseled, their jawlines more pronounced.
Ozzie’s beard is fuller, and Jax has a squarer jaw.
Both of them look equally bright eyed and full of love in the pictures.
I, however, look like two different people.
There are several pictures of me on the wall from my first few seasons with the Moonshines.
I was muscular and toned. The lines on my legs were deep and pronounced, the muscles defined and beautiful.
I’ve tried to keep up with my same workouts, but when they’re not accompanied by hours on the field, they’ve faded a bit, becoming more feminine and curvy.
But my face is where I see the biggest difference.
I never realized the toll Tanner took on me.
I thought I loved him so deeply, but looking back at pictures of me during a time where he called me his, I was less confident.
In several of the pictures my posture was loose, my gaze averted from the camera, or I had a perfectly posed smile.
I can tell I was forced to look camera ready.
In the pictures of us in Mexico, I’m laughing, bright eyed, and full of life. Nothing is posed or stilted.
But when I hang up the few pictures of me and my dad, the difference becomes the most notable. I’m looking at Jax in one of the pictures with the same look of love and admiration I’m looking at my dad when he won his first game as the head coach.
The picture is of me and him in front of the score board.
My arms are wrapped around his neck and I’m looking at the side of his face, so proud as he waved the game ball over his head.
A few pictures away, is one of Jax and I in the pool in Mexico.
I’m on his back looking over at him while he smiles at the camera.
It’s a selfie, so we’re closer to the camera, but his arm is up holding the phone at a similar angle, and the look in my eyes is the same.
I take the one of me and dad and move it to the nail next to Jax and I, and the similarities send a shiver up my spine.
Daddy used to always tell me, “You only get two loves, baby girl. The game, and the one who only makes you smile. But the game won’t love you back, so never let it steal your heart.”
He was kind of right. I did only have two loves, but the game wasn’t one of them. The two loves of my life are sitting side by side on my wall, and I think it’s about time the two of them officially meet.
Me: Wanna take a roadtrip? I really want you to meet my dad.
Jax: Yeah. Let’s go this weekend after we get everything settled. I’ve been waiting to take that trip with you.