7. Anticipation #3
I tore my eyes from Zora’s pouty red lips and glanced at the back of the room at a couple of autographed monographs of paintings from Ernie Barnes, a former football player-turned-painter. It pleased me that Zora appreciated Black art.
“Yes. They are limited-edition signed giclées. Mr. Barnes was a friend of my dad’s, so I had access to those from a high-end estate sale. I loved that he was more than an athlete and made a solid living as an artist too.” I cut my salmon with my knife and forked a piece in my mouth.
“I adore his vivid use of color and his emphasis on the elongation and movement of Black bodies. He first came to my attention from his Sugar Shack piece on the opening credits of Good Times .”
“Yes. He had a keen eye for the human form.” I lowered my eyes to Zora’s bountiful breasts.
An undeniable blush covered her cheeks.
“Do you ever stop flirting, Mr. Kinney?”
“Only if the object of my desire wants me to. Does she?”
Zora raised her head and smiled.
“She doesn’t…but getting back to our discussion of your art.” She pointed her fork in the direction of my favorite piece.
“Yes. That one reminds me of the possibilities of what could be. Maybe I could paint you one day.”
Zora’s mouth opened in surprise.
“Oh. You’re an artist too?”
“I know my way around an art studio. Some of my work is hanging in the hallway upstairs. There’s something to be said for the freedom that comes with interpreting an idea in a new way.
It allows me to take something that is in a box and show that it cannot be contained. Like the piece I’d paint of you.”
“How flattering. Do you make a habit of painting women you’ve just met?”
Sarcasm oozed from Zora’s voice. I was a competitive and sometimes snarky guy, so I wasn’t going to let her get off asking slick questions so easily.
“It depends on who it is. You’re an attractive woman, so I predict that the one I would paint of you would only be appropriate to hang in my bedroom.”
Zora coughed on the carrots she chewed. I half rose from my seat to pat her on the back, but she shook her head, gesturing for me to sit down with her right hand. I did.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I pointed to Zora’s water glass, asking with the most serious face I could muster under the circumstances. “Do you need more water?”
Zora took a sip and held her hand over her chest, taking several deep breaths. She fanned her face with her hands and lifted her napkin to her lips before lowering it back to her lap.
“I’m not used to this. Please give me a moment. You are a lot to take in.”
“Oh…you’re setting up the jokes now. A lot to take in?”
Zora laughed and took a big breath to compose herself.
“Please stop, Cairo, with your mannish self. Seriously, is painting something you’d like to do when you leave the league?”
“Yes, but I want to continue my community work and philanthropy too. More than anything, I want to grow in new ways.”
“Does that include growing with new friends ? Is that why you invited me here?”
I thought several moments about Zora’s direct question.
I adored her presence and how she brought new light to me and to my home when I had been so down about my anniversary a couple of days ago.
With Zora, my heart felt something good that I couldn’t deny.
I supposed it was this intimate, intellectual conversation.
Zora’s beauty challenged the boundaries of what our friendship might look like.
“Yes, I am open to something new,” I admitted after processing Zora’s question.
“Good for you. Maybe in the future, you can take time to travel for pleasure and not just for work.” She sipped her wine and smiled.
“You’re onto something there. Cece and I traveled to art museums around the world throughout our marriage. There’s so much of the world to visit. I don’t like traveling alone though.” I took another bite of salmon as I remembered how much fun Cece and I had exploring historic cities.
Zora pulled dormant feelings to the surface. I wanted to travel, joke, and laugh every day, making new memories that left me feeling warm and fuzzy. Her eyes rested on my lips, causing me to smile at her attentiveness.
Before this week, I wasn’t so sure about what the future held for me, but after our exchange, I wanted to lean into the suppressed emotions she pulled from me.
For the first time in a long time, I wanted to talk about the past, even if it was painful.
Pain and budding joy could coexist. To be the best man I could be, I needed to hope for something bigger than I was and believe that my future would be brighter.
Zora confirmed that was possible. Tonight’s banter made me feel alive.
“I liked that you removed your mask for me earlier.” I sipped my water and wiped my mouth with my cloth napkin before placing it on my lap.
Zora dabbed the side of her mouth and rested her hands beneath the table.
“What do you mean? What mask do you see?”
“In your office, you were sharp, pointy, and kind of haughty, almost accusatory. I saw glimpses of something deeper and sincere though. I took a chance inviting you to my home. When you accepted, I wasn’t sure how this weekend would go, but I like this authentic version of you. It’s charming.”
“Thank you. You’re charming and fun too. You’ve created the perfect atmosphere for me to display my softer side. I saw that when you comforted me. To be honest, being in your arms broke something in me. In a good way,” she added quickly.
I beamed, pleased at her vulnerability.
“Why not just keep this mask off all the time?”
Zora drank water from her glass and set it back on the table, her posture perfect. She stared at me so long I wondered if she would answer my question.
“It’s a habit. When I was young, I was called a know-it-all and a goodie two-shoes despite trying to follow the rules my parents gave my twin sister Lena and me.
I have always loved order. I wasn’t about trying to outshine anyone, but no matter what, I made enemies when I excelled.
After a while, I minimized my accolades and stopped celebrating them in front of others.
I made myself small and surrounded myself with people who got more attention than I did.
I didn’t want Lena to be my only friend. ”
Zora’s admission touched my heart.
“It’s cool to be a twin. Are you identical?”
“Yes. I’m older by five minutes.”
“I like your names too—Zora and Lena. Is there a story behind that?”
“Yes again. Our parents are old school and love Black literature and art, so they named us after two great historic figures. I’m named for the anthropologist and writer Zora Neale Hurston. Lena is named after the singer and actress Lena Horne. It’s a bonus that our last name is Langston.”
“As in Langston Hughes?”
Zora chuckled.
“Exactly. We are Black historied out, whether we want to be or not.”
“I love that. Zora is an elegant name for a distinguished woman. My favorite quote of hers is, ‘If you’re silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.’”
“That’s one of my favorites too. It’s why I try to be consistent about speaking up about oppression in my life and toward Black people.”
Zora’s commitment to freedom made me wonder why she wasn’t more liberated in her personal relationship. I wanted to be gentle with my next question, although I didn’t mind being messy either.
“Do you move like that with Geoff?”
Zora shifted in her chair and lowered her eyes to her half-eaten dinner. She pushed a carrot across the plate and set her fork down.
“I never thought about it. He’s a good guy.”
When she didn’t come across as defensive about my probing, I continued.
“As your friend, may I be honest?”
She nodded.
“I watched the two of you interact after the luncheon. You were the president, yet he acted like he was the boss. I stood up to share my announcement, not only because I thought it would make you the hero in the moment, but because I didn’t think Geoff would have your back as the crowd showed their displeasure.
He’s a shrewd businessman, but he gives off a strange energy.
You’re a shining star. You didn’t deserve that in a relationship. ”
Zora sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.
“You’ve known me all of twenty-four hours. Geoff and I have been companions for almost two years. What we have may not be traditional to outsiders, but it works for us.”
“I see.”
But I didn’t. When she entered my arms earlier, I felt her pain. I wanted to say that partners should not hurt someone they cared about like that.
“Then why didn’t you tell him you were spending the weekend with me?”
Zora raked her fork over her meat and set it on the edge of the plate.
“As I told him and now you, this is business. It’s hard to explain my spontaneous presence under another man’s roof without being face to face with him.”
“Is it also because we’ve been flirting with each other?”
“I haven’t been flirting. You have.”
Zora wasn’t going to play mind games with me.
“Didn’t you just tell me not to stop? And what do you call that sexy ass dress and your pretty toes? You’ve been undressing me with your eyes during dinner too. Both of us are too grown to play children’s games. We’re attracted to each other.”
Zora gave a blank stare. When I realized she wasn’t going to honor me with a response, I continued, “I was married for fifteen years. I know firsthand how a solid relationship works. It’s not one person doing all the giving and another doing all the taking.
It’s not even a fifty-fifty exchange. It’s a one hundred percent relationship for each person.
And sweetheart, you’re giving your all to Geoff and getting back about twenty percent, if that. ”
“So…did you invite me here to show me how to give and take properly? Despite what you may think, I don’t date younger men. Or jump their bones because they throw money at me or the university I lead.” Zora’s eyes tore through me like fire.
“What am I, two years younger than you? I may not be a senior citizen like Geoff, but I’m wise beyond my years. Age ain’t nothing but a number.”
“And I guess going down ain’t nothing but a thing. Does that mean you’re going to try to give me oral sex too?”
It was my turn to be shocked. Zora’s words teased, but her face remained stoic.
Her raunchy question and reference to Aliyah’s “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number” lyrics threw me off, especially after she called me young.
We were in the middle of a serious conversation about our relationship beliefs, and she cracked jokes—yet another example of her mask coming on and off.
“It’s throwing down, not going down, sweetheart.”
“Oh.” She lowered her eyes, and then displayed the cutest little smile.
I chuckled and reached for her hand, which she gave willingly.
“Woman… you keep a brother on his toes. I’m being serious. You are a Proverbs thirty-one woman. More precious than rubies. I had a virtuous woman in my life once, so I hate to see another one being taken for granted.”
She held my gaze, and her face softened.
“Your words are gracious, especially for someone who barely knows me.”
“But I do know you, Zora.”
“How?”
I paused, knowing I couldn’t share how my wife blessed Zora’s presence in my life. Or how I couldn’t get her out of my mind or would devour her if she let me. Instead, I sipped my wine and took a deep breath before sharing what I perceived was the truth she could handle right now.
“I’m observant. Geoff tells you what to do. And you follow him like a little puppy.”
Zora pursued her lips. When she didn’t rebut my assessment, I continued.
“I’ve only known you a day and can already see how bright you are—not only intellectually but in here.
” I tapped my heart with my fingertips. “Zora, you seem to have it all, but you’re missing life with someone who can lift you up when you need strength—someone who gives you permission to be great when you have a sliver of doubt.
Someone who wants the best for you, even if you outshine them.
You were put on this earth for that. I believe it with every fiber of my being.
You deserve happiness and joy.” I squeezed her fingers.
She cocked her head to the side.
“Do you think you’re the one who can offer me what I’m missing?”
Without a doubt , I wanted to say, but instead, I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back my real words and feelings.
“I’m open to the possibilities of what could be,” I said, determined not to run Zora away before I even kissed her tempting lips.