Ten
Phoenix
December
“We need to talk.”
My blood instantly turns to ice as Kason’s voice registers, and I glance up from where my laptop is strewn over my mattress to find him leaning against the doorway. There’s a slight frown to his lips and lines worrying his forehead, both of which set me on edge.
“Hey,” I say, my voice a little higher pitched than I’d like. “About what?”
But I’m pretty sure I know exactly what Kason wants to discuss.
It’s been a week since I tricked Holden and left him handcuffed to his bed, and I’ve been walking around on eggshells, anxious about this exact moment happening. Where the guillotine drops, severing all the trust Kason and I have because of one stupid decision.
Now with it here, the anxiety rippling through me might cause me to burst at the seams.
Holden must’ve told him what happened—no doubt making it seem like I was seducing him for my own benefit—only for my best friend to be absolutely pissed.
Except, the expression on Kason’s face isn’t angry so much as…nervous?
“About our trip to Florida.”
Both relief and guilt flood me simultaneously as my brain registers his words.
Especially if he still doesn’t know anything about my history with Holden.
And as much as I hate keeping it from him, I know it’s better this way.
Easier as well, because it’s far too late to suddenly bring up the real reason I consider Holden to be public enemy number one.
“Oh, okay,” I say, pushing my books aside for him to sit. He does, and I swear, he looks even more nervous after. “What’s going on?”
With the way things have been going lately—specifically him ditching me to spend time with Holden—I’m wondering if he’s planning to cancel on me yet again. And when he starts his explanation with, “Try not to be mad at me about this,” I’m fully prepared for my line of thinking to be correct.
“Okay.”
“I’m serious,” he insists. “You have to promise me you won’t revoke my friendship for this.”
Oh, hell.
“I’ll do my best to not be pissed,” I say slowly, keeping my temper in check. “Now, just spit it out, Kase.”
Reluctance still consumes his features while he looks at me. “Okay, I um…” He clears his throat twice, and then, “I invited Holden.”
This is not how I pictured this conversation going when I saw him in my doorway, but this probably is just as shitty of one.
To the point where I might honestly prefer him finding out about my failed attempts to get Holden to run in the other direction, consequences be damned.
Anything would be better than having to spend ten days with the two of them in one house—no matter how big it is.
My eyes sink closed, and I let out a long sigh. “And why the fuck would you do that?”
More guilt slides over his face. “He saw it on my calendar the other night when we were hanging out,” Kason explains.
“And invited himself?” I surmise, not bothering to keep the disdain from my tone. “Sounds pretty on brand, if you ask me.”
“No, didn’t you just hear me? I said I invited him.”
I take a deep breath through my nose and exhale. “Which brings us back to why ?”
“You said you wouldn’t get pissed.”
“I’m trying very hard not to,” I say through gritted teeth. “Now explain. In detail.”
Kason crosses the room, taking a seat on the edge of my bed. He starts fiddling with the stitching of my comforter, tracing the lines as if they’re the key to getting out of this conversation.
“Kase,” I say again, my patience practically gone.
Green eyes flash up to meet mine, and I see a plea for mercy in them.
“He was asking about it, and I explained how we always take a trip down to your family condo every winter break. But then I told him how your sister had all these new ballet lessons, so it was just the two of us going this year.” He goes back to playing with the stitching, no longer willing to hold my gaze.
“It got us talking about his winter break plans and how he wasn’t planning to go back to California since his Gran was going on an old-folks cruise, and so…
” Kason trails off, but it doesn’t prevent me from filling in the rest of the story on my own.
He invited Holden because he felt bad. Worried he would be alone for the holidays instead of with friends or family.
This guy really isn’t going down without a fight.
In fact, he might be getting even sneakier with his strategies. I’m gonna have to up my game if I have any chance of killing whatever is brewing between the two of them before it ends badly.
I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. “And he couldn’t have just gone home with Oakley or any of his other teammates?”
“Phoe…”
“Nah, don’t do that right now.” My eyes analyze his face, noting every little line of stress and worry written there. “I know you’re just trying to look out for him and be his friend. I get it. But seriously, Kase? Your bleeding heart will be your greatest downfall.”
Just like mine is not being able to tell you no.
Kason only nods, letting the silence linger in the space between us. It feels suffocating—like every single mention of Holden Sykes is poisoning the air and our friendship with toxic fumes we might not survive.
“Who else?” I ask, my voice not more than a whisper.
Kason’s brows collide. “I only invited Holden.”
Sometimes this man is so fucking dense, I wonder how we’re even friends at all.
My fingers curl over my laptop screen as I snap it closed. “Yes. Holden. Who is the biggest party animal around, and we’re spending ten days in a condo down at the beach with zero parents or anyone to keep us from acting like idiots. So I’m asking you again, Kason. Who else is coming?”
He shoots me a pleading look. “I know you don’t have much faith in him, but he knows it’s your house. There’s no way he’d just go off and invite a bunch of other people when it’s not his invite to extend.”
“Right,” I say dryly.
I believe what Kason is saying as much as I believe this whole situation was mere happenstance. If I only had a dollar left to my name, I’d still bet it on Holden fabricating the entire conversation until Kason invited him along for the ride.
Kason’s phone chimes in his pocket with a text, and I take it as an opportunity to end this conversation and cool back down. But Kason sighs and rubs his temple as his eyes read the screen, and my gut sinks.
“What?” I ask.
He doesn’t speak, just hands off his phone after turning the screen to face me.
Sykes: Do you care if I invite a couple of the guys on the team down to the condo too? Nothing nuts, just thinking Noah, Harrison, and Luca. None of them had plans for the break either. Figured it could be fun.
The glare I aim at Kason as I return his phone could melt ice.
“Try not to say I told you so,” Kason says with a groan as he flops backward onto my mattress. “I can already hear it inside my head as it is.”
“You have too much faith in people.” My eyes shift over to him. “And for the record, having all those meatheads joining us doesn’t sound like fun at all.”
Kason gives me a look of exasperation. “You don’t even know them.”
“I know Holden enough to know who he hangs out with,” I snap. Honestly, I have no idea how Theo can stand being his roommate. “Besides, isn’t Noah the teammate you said has been acting super weird around you since you came out?”
Kason adjusts his body weight, rising up on his elbows. “Yeah, but—”
“No. No but anything.” Irritation starts settling into my bones, and I do my best to shake it off. Again, my best friend might be dense as shit, but he’s also a pretty awesome guy. It’s one of the things I love most about him.
He just needs to learn to rein in his Mr. Nice Guy routine every once in a while.
“Noah always hangs out with Holden and Oakley,” he tries reasoning. “And both of them are open about their sexuality.”
Sounds like a crock of shit to me. Like simply being friends with someone in the queer community automatically exempts you from ever being homophobic. It doesn’t fucking work that way.
“I just don’t want to see you water yourself down to make other people comfortable. You shouldn’t have to do that—not for a single person on this planet.” My stare is pointed and firm, leaving no room for debate.
“I won’t be.”
I arch a disbelieving brow. “So you’re planning to be all cute and lovey-dovey with Holden right in front of Noah, knowing he’s already been acting weird around you? And your other teammates too?”
I’ve known Kason long enough to know the answer to both those questions is no. He just doesn’t want to admit it. To me, or himself.
“Things aren’t like that with Holden,” he says quietly. “We’re not anything serious yet, and while we aren’t keeping it on the DL, the guys won’t care if they saw a little PDA.”
“You say that now, but what happens when they do, and you’re left feeling like garbage due to some shitty comment they make to be funny?”
A disgruntled sound leaves him and he runs his fingers through his hair. He must be getting just as frustrated with me as I am with him. Or realizing how right I am, as much as he might wish I wasn’t.
“It’s your family’s place, Phoe. They don’t have to come if you don’t want them there. Just say the fucking word. Even Holden will understand if I tell him he can’t come either. I’m sure you need to run it by your parents as it is.”
Mom and Dad already told me I’m more than welcome to invite any friends down—something they’ve made clear to me since starting college.
That’s not the issue here. I just wanted to get Kason away from all of this shit to talk some sense into him about Holden.
Or maybe gaining some distance from him might allow him to remove whatever rose-colored glasses he has on when he looks at the guy.
Having him and the rest of those Neanderthals won’t help my efforts.
Plus, after what happened with Holden in his bedroom, the last thing I need is to be trapped in a single house with him for a week and a half. Or a vehicle on the way down there, for that matter.
Too bad saying no and disinviting Holden only makes me look like an ass.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a long sigh, already regretting my decision before it’s even been made. “Fine. They can come. But don’t be surprised if I end up inviting Theo and Wyatt and any other people I actually want to hang out with too.”
Hurt crosses Kason’s features immediately, but I’m too pissed to care. He’s the one who didn’t care about how bringing the fucker with us on vacation would make me feel. This thing with him and Holden is changing us and our friendship into something…I don’t even recognize anymore.
“Phoe—”
“I’ve got work to do,” I mutter, lifting my laptop back open. My focus stays fixed on the screen as the bed shifts from Kason rising off the mattress. He must be taking the agonizing silence between us as a sign that this conversation is over.
His footfalls retreat toward the door, but when I chance a glimpse, I find him standing in the doorway, staring back at me.
“Can you at least try to forgive me before we leave next week?” he asks softly.
I swallow back the desire to right this moment, and whisper, “Shut the door on your way out.”