13. Leilani
Something was off with Banks.
I could feel it even when he was away. He wasn’t his usual loving and attentive self. His texts were short. Our conversations seemed to be even shorter, and we hadn’t spent much time together since he’d been back in Camden Cove for the last five days.
The distance was wearing on me, revealing the feelings I tried to deny.
Distance revealed how I loved hearing his voice. I could sit and listen to him talk for hours, laughing at the smallest things because he was a big kid at heart.
Distance revealed how I loved seeing him. Banks was one of a kind. I could sit and stare at him all day, which was one reason I was in my room, drawing him.
Distance revealed how I craved intimacy. His intimacy. I’d never been big on physical touch, but Banks had me yearning for his hugs and kisses.
Banks had me yearning for him, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I hadn’t experienced those types of emotions since Brandon.
With Banks, everything was deeper. I wasn’t sure if it was because we’d connected too quickly or what, but I’d fallen for that man.
I’d fallen for him hard and fast, with no warning.
Our bond was unexpected. I went into our business relationship as he liked to call it, only thinking of how we were helping each other. I went into it not realizing that we’d be feeding one another’s souls, healing parts of each other we didn’t realize were damaged.
“Disconnect” by 6lack played in the background, sending a message to my soul.
I picked my phone up to see if Banks had texted me back, only to find he’d left me on read.
Not wanting to get too deep into my feelings, I went to my text thread with Brandon to confirm our meeting details.
We’d been texting a little more lately, so maybe he was the distraction I needed from my feelings.
It was three o’clock, so I got to a good stopping point on my drawing before going to get ready for Banks’s game.
A part of me didn’t want to go with the way he was acting, but maybe things would change with the cameras being around us.
I didn’t want the cameras to be the reason he changed his attitude. I wanted Banks to be Banks.
To my surprise, Banks had a Tahoe waiting to take me to the game.
The small gesture made me feel slightly better.
It let me know he was still thinking about me.
My heart melted at the sight of a single sunflower resting on the seat.
Even with him being distant, it didn’t change how thoughtful he was.
Traffic was terrible through the city. I arrived at the game with only ten minutes to spare, so I didn’t get to talk to Banks beforehand. His parents and Paisley were there. I sat with them, and we all noticed Banks was off. So off that the coach pulled him from pitching.
My heart went out to him. From the way his shoulders were slumped and his head lowered, it was obvious he wasn’t feeling it. His focus was off, even when he went up to bat. If he didn’t get walked, he definitely would’ve struck out. The game ended, and the Cougars lost by four.
“I don’t know what was wrong with Banks today,” Alyson stated with a shake of her head. “He hasn’t had an off game like that in a while.”
“No, he hasn’t. It happens, though,” Blaise said. “We need to talk to him. See where his head is at.”
Paisley chimed in. “Not tonight. Give him some time before saying anything. There’s no need in pressing the issue when it’s fresh.”
I wanted to speak up and agree with her, but I remained quiet. My thoughts and opinions weren’t meant to be said within the family, so I kept everything to myself. I’d talk to Banks whenever we were alone, if he wanted to be.
We all waited out front for him. I didn’t care anything about the flashing lights of the cameras nor the screams around us. My focus was making sure Banks was good, so I stayed put until he emerged from the facility with sunglasses on, and his hood over his head.
“Oh, he’s not okay,” Paisley muttered and sighed.
I turned toward her and interrogated, “What’s wrong with him, Paisley? He’s been like this for a few days.”
“He’ll talk when he’s ready. Banks is the type of person who needs to fully process his emotions before speaking on them which is why I don’t want our parents to pressure him tonight. Not that they will listen, but Banks will snap if they push him too far.”
“Like they’ve done in the past?”
“Precisely. Is everything okay between the two of you?”
“Honestly, I don’t know,” I admitted, sighing. “I thought so, but he’s been distant lately. I don’t like it.”
“I can tell. I know Banks very well. I’ve watched the way he interacts with you. I know y’all have an agreement or whatever, but he truly likes you. It’s obvious in all he does for and says about you.”
I wanted to pry. I needed Paisley to go into detail, but Banks walked up to us without acknowledging anyone, which was very unlike him. He briefly glanced at me. I offered him a smile, but Alyson opened her mouth and gained his attention.
Alyson held her arms out to him for a hug and questioned, “What happened out there today, son? You were not on you’re A game like usual.”
Banks shook his head and started toward the vehicle. To my surprise, Alyson followed behind him. She spat out question after question to his back. Blaise didn’t try to stop her either. He trekked behind her with his hands in his pockets, waiting for Banks to answer.
Paisley flitted her eyes upward to the dark sky. “Here we go.”
The tension in the air was growing thicker by the second. Banks’s head was lowered as he took verbal hits from Alyson. Fed up, I stomped around them and stood in front of Banks.
“That’s enough. I mean no disrespect when I say this, but get off his back. As we all could see, he had a rough game and doesn’t want to talk about it. Questioning him with every breath isn’t helping either.”
If looks could kill, I would’ve been six feet under.
The last thing I wanted was to be on bad terms with any of his family, but I also wasn’t going to allow them to disrespect him either.
If I had to be the bad guy for the next few months to protect him, then so be it.
Deep down, if the shoe were on the other foot, I believed Banks would’ve done the same for me.
“And who do you think you’re talking to?” Alyson shot back with her hands on her hips.
I held my hands up in surrender. “Like I said before, I mean no disrespect, but leave him be.”
Finally, Blaise spoke up, “She’s right, Aly. Let’s allow Banks to take the night to rest and clear his head. We can talk to him tomorrow.”
Alyson looked me up and down before walking away. Paisley mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before following behind her parents. I turned around to climb in the vehicle with Banks.
“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching out to touch his arm, but he pulled away.
“I’m good. Thank you for that, Leilani. If you didn’t say anything, she would’ve kept going on and on, and I don’t have the energy for it.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Banks.”
All he did was nod and gaze out the window until we were pulling up at the front of my house twenty minutes later.
“Call you later?” I asked in a hopeful tone.
“I’m tired, but I’ll get up with you for our next appearance.”
The abrupt rumble of thunder matched the way my emotions were stirring inside me.
It was as if a switch had flicked off in Banks, and I didn’t know how to turn it back on.
Maybe, just maybe, he was showing me who he was all along.
Maybe, our contract was solid to do exactly what he approached me for from the beginning.
Still, I couldn’t help but to try.
“Can I at least get a hug and kiss?”
I held my breath as I waited for Banks. Time seemed to slow when Banks got out and walked around the back of the truck. With his arms around my waist and mine around his neck, I relished in his embrace. I squeezed him tighter as if it would be our last hug, never wanting to let him go.
His emotions were transferring to me like the howling wind blowing against us. I moved my head back to stare at him, but Banks quickly kissed me and walked away. He got back in the truck, waiting for me to safely get inside.
My chest swelled as I tried to shake off my feelings. I refused to shed tears over something that was temporary, so that was what I had to keep reminding myself.
What Banks and I had was temporary.
Or was it?