31. Chapter 31
31
Grey
I watched Kelly leave, my heart like a burning rock in my chest. The ache only grew as she disappeared from my sight. I considered going after her, but my gaze shifted over to Malak, who has the darkest look in his eyes I had seen in quite a while.
“Go ahead, rub it,” I sneered at him, “tell me how I’m going to have make it up to her, and figure it out, and you’re gonna keep an eye on me.” I put my arms out to the side. “This is your fault.” I pointed a finger at him.
“Excuse me?” Malak asked, “How exactly is this my fault, Grey?”
I sighed, my eyes burning. “You know what, no, I’m not even gonna fucking bother.”
“No, go ahead,” Malak said, folding his arms, “I want to hear how fucking stupid whatever it is sounds coming out of your mouth.”
My body tensed even harder than I knew it could. My throat was so tight that it was almost hard to speak. We had been through a lot, but the tension in the air told me this was different.
“You told her about the drugs, obviously,” I told him.
Malak laughed one weak laugh. “I didn’t know you lied to her,” Malak said, “second of all, even if I did, yeah, I would’ve told her, cause she deserves to know. You promised her, after fucking her, that you weren’t into all that. You think I wouldn’t tell her if I knew?” glared at me.
“What happened?” I asked, “how did she even find out?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.
Malak stepped closer to me in the dimness of the night. “I took her to Apex,” he told me and my stomach dropped, “I didn’t tell you, because you’ve been really fucking weird about it. Insisting she’d hate me. Now I know why. It was to cover your ass.”
“Why would you do that?” I asked him.
“Because I want to be honest with Kelly,” Malak growled at me, “I don’t deal with secrets, and you know what, man, you didn’t just keep it from Kelly, you kept lying to her from me.”
My hands went cold.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“I have never kept nothin’ from you,” Malak said, his voice thick, “you know everything. Past, present, plans.” Malak reached up and brushed a hand along the side of my face, and then cursed under his breath. “Look, maybe if it was just me, I could deal with you lying, shit, I deal with plenty from you, but, Kelly?” he shook his head, “you treat me how you want, but I’m not gonna watch you treat other people however you want.”
My heart lurched in my chest. “Dude, stop being so fucking vague, just, let’s get on with it,” I growled, and stepped closer to him, my entire body tingling with emotion. “What the fuck are you trying to say?” I asked, “I can’t sell at the club anymore?”
Panic suddenly struck me. What was I going to do without the gig supplying Apex? It made seventy percent of my income. My eyes widened, what was I going to do without Malak?
I stepped even closer and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Malak, man, just chill out, we can figure this out,” I insisted.
Malak grabbed me by the front of my shirt, forcing my hands off him. “You can keep supplying the club, but I don’t think you should live here anymore,” he told me.
My breath quickened. “Malak, no, don’t…” I said, my entire body feeling like a massive weight was dropped on it, “Please, not you too.”
Malak titled his head down and pressed his mouth to mine. One of my arms reached up and wrapped around his shoulder, pulling closer to his body. Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, not caring who was watching, he pulled away from me. Malak shoved me back, his shoulders moving with his breath.
“I’m done,” Malak said, “until you get your shit together, make up with Kelly. I’m done.”
“No,” I tried stepping forwards, but Malak was already turning around and walking away from me. They had both walked away from me. I felt my feet trying to carry me forwards, go after them. All I had to do was say I would change, part from my baggage, my family, but…I didn’t want to. What the fuck else was I supposed to do with my life? My family would never be able to accept me leaving.
My hands balled into fists, and I ignored the burning tears that I refused to let go over my lash line.
“Fine!” I yelled after Malak, “I’ll go stay in a hotel, put my shit out in the morning.”
I turned around, aching, angry, and drove my fist into the nearest tree. I growled in pain as I pulled my hand back, slivers of bark in my knuckles. Swallowing thick, I pulled out my phone with my free hand; I checked that I was right about the direction of the nearest hotel — and I headed down the street.
It didn’t matter where I was going really, despite having looked the hotel up. In that moment, for all I cared, if I was tired enough, I’d just sleep on a bench. It wouldn’t be the first time. Somehow, I made it inside and to the receptionist's desk, asked for a one bedroom, swiped my debit card and took the room key. As I unlocked the door and pushed it open to the view of a pretty shitty but doable room, I felt like I wasn’t even really controlling my body.
I kicked the door closed, heard it auto-lock, and plopped my ass down on the end of the bed.
“Fuck,” I growled, and leaned down, putting my head in my hands. “Fuck, fuck!” I squeezed my hands into fists against my face.
All I wanted was to not feel anymore, and I knew how I could make that happen. Reaching into my coat pocket, I pulled out one of the bags of pills I had on me that night. Xanax. Sure, one or two for the average person was normal, but I needed more than that. Enough to put me to sleep until noon the next day.
I popped four into my mouth, shoved the bottle back into my pocket, walked over to the sink to the left of the room, and leaned down to take a drink of water. I swallowed, and made a face at the gross aftertaste, before shoving my jacket and shoes off.
Sitting at the end of the bed, I sighed, and scooted further up in the bed, leaving the light off and laying on my back on top of the covers. Soon my racing heart settled, my head grew fuzzy, and I was pulled into the wonder that was unconsciousness.