33. Chapter 33
33
Kelly
D espite the fact that I felt beyond on edge, I decided to go back to work before my time off was over. I wasn’t planning ongoing back to talk with Lindsey, and I couldn’t sit in the apartment thinking about what had happened with Grey the night before in the parking lot.
“Hey, can you get these on the shelves?” Emily asked, patting a box filled with manga, “I can man the register.” Her eyes wandered my face, and I could tell she was checking to make sure I was okay from where I stood behind the counter.
“Yeah, I got it,” I told her, “and don’t worry about me. Okay?”
Emily frowned. “Not gonna happen,” she said, “you’ve got way too much shit going on.”
I sighed and shrugged, “it is what it is.” I moved out from behind the counter and grabbed the box. I watched Emily move behind the register before I disappeared further back into the store and into the manga and graphic novel section.
Group by group, I got the books on the shelf, but even with the distraction, I could feel my phone burning a hole in my jeans pocket. I had avoided texting or calling Rose, telling myself that she would contact me. However, I grew more and more impatient. More and more worried. What had happened with her and Lindsey after we left?
I felt guilty for what happened with her, specifically after knowing that Grey was lying to me.
“Stupid,” I mumbled to myself, “how could you be so stupid?”
Of course, Rose wouldn’t want to get into anything serious with Grey, any sane person wouldn’t. How didn’t I see that? I’m such a bitch.
My brow furrowed, and I closed my eyes. My head felt dizzy, my fingers tingling. I took several breaths through my nose and tried to focus on the sound of soft steps around the store. The beeps of books being scanned, the ringing of the door opening.
After a second or two, I settled. However, I didn’t head to the front of the store. No, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and swiped to Rose’s contact.
I took a deep breath and pushed the call button and placed my phone to my ear.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
My pulse quickened.
Ring. Ring. Ring… Ring.
‘You have reached the voicemail of Rosalinda Barbieri, leave your name and number at the beep’.
“Damnit,” I mumbled, and hung up, before trying again.
This time, it went to voicemail after two rings. She wasn’t answering on purpose.
I gulped, and when the beep sounded in my ear, started talking.
“Rose, I know you’re probably upset with me right now,” I started, “but I need to talk to you. I need to know you’re okay. We shouldn’t have left you like that. Please call me back.”
My stomach twisted as I hung up and put my phone back in my pocket. I wouldn’t call her again, I told myself this anyway, and grabbed the empty box up into my arm. I tossed it into the back room and headed back to the register, pulling myself together as best as I could.
At lunch, Emily sat across from me, munching on her sandwich while I had barely touched my food in fifteen minutes, and we only had fifteen more left.
“What’s up?” Emily asked.
“Huh?” I asked, looking over at her.
Emily raised a brow. “You haven’t touched your food, you’re fiddling with your phone every five seconds,” she rightly accused, “so, what’s going on?”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment. “I called Rose twice earlier, she didn’t answer, I left a voicemail, she still hasn’t called me back,” I explained, “I need to talk to her.”
Emily eyed me for a moment, her lips opening, but I spoke first.
“You’re the one who told me I needed to figure out how I felt, talk to people about it,” I reminded her, “after what happened with Grey, I feel…terrible for leaving Rose behind.”
“Well, if she doesn’t want to answer, there’s not much you can do about it,” she told me.
“What if I fucked this up?” I asked her.
Emily chuckled weakly. “Honey, this is already a mess, I don’t blame you for tripping over it,” she said, “don’t be so hard on yourself. I know things will work out for the best.”
I smiled softly, though my eyes were stinging. Just as I was about to open my mouth, my phone buzzed in my hand. My heart shot into my throat. I looked down.
Rose: I will meet you at your apartment after work.
My breath hitched. “She texted me.”
Emily straightened in her seat. “What did she say?”
“She wants to meet me after work,” I said, and quickly texted back.
Me: I get off at 6.
A second later, she replied.
Rose: I know.
My brow furrowed at her response.
She seems upset with me. Of course she’s upset…who could blame her?
“I just want to get things figured out,” I told Emily as I looked back at her and away from my phone. She nodded and reached across the table to touch the hand that was on my phone.
“Whatever happens, I’m here for you alright?” Emily said, “and I will kick whoever’s ass I need to, you just tell me.” A serious look fell on her soft face, but a second later, she cracked a smile.
I couldn’t help but smile back at her, then chuckle, then we were both laughing softly.
“Thank you,” I said, “but I don’t think anyone’s ass needs your kicking. Besides, Malak would probably get to it first.”
Emily rolled her eyes and put her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands.
“So, let’s stop talking about Rose, or Grey, tell me about Malak,” Emily insisted.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, tilting my head to the side, “you already know how hot he is, about the club, and his history.”
Emily made a face. “You know what,” she scolded, “how good is he? What’s it like? I need to know the juicy details, girl,” she insisted.
My face flushed deeply as I set my phone face down on the table and then tapped my short nails in a slow pattern. “Well,” I started slowly, “I don’t usually kiss and tell, but he’s amazing.” I sighed as I put my own elbow on the table and leaned my face crookedly into my hand. My thighs heated just thinking about his face between them, his length buried deeply inside me, throbbing… I blinked, pulling myself out of that thought, and tried to focus on Emily.
Who was smiling at me, with wide, interested eyes. “Come on, future author, you can do better than that,” she insisted.
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know about future author, I haven’t even written anything in…I don’t know anymore, but,” I pursed my lips, “it was so unbelievably hot, hotter than anything I’ve ever experienced. I think he might actually ruin me for myself.” I teased.
Emily giggled and wiggled her shoulders. “Ugh, God,” she groaned, “if only I wasn’t on a dating-cleanse.”
My eyebrows raised. “Dating cleanse? When did you decide on that?” I asked.
“After hearing about all the drama you’re dealing with,” she said, and gave me an apologetic look, “plus I’m too busy with work. If I start dating someone, I’ll have no time for myself, or you, for that matter.”
I frowned softly. “What about just hitting up the bars, like usual?” I asked, “I know it’s not really my scene, but I won’t be upset if you’d rather spent the weekend doing that.”
Emily shook her head. “Maybe once in a while, but I’m kind of burnt out on pretending I care what hot strangers have to say to me, and pretending I don’t care that they’re doing the same thing to me,” she chuckled.
I laughed. “Well, that’s a predicament.” I finally picked up my sandwich.
Emily took another bite of her sandwich. “You’re telling me.”
Just like that, Emily was able to get my mind on other things.
That is until it was time to go home. Once I was out of Emily’s car, and she was already headed into the building. I was idling outside in the parking lot. Nervous that Rose might already be upstairs, and I wasn’t sure what she wanted to say to me. I needed to apologize, but every time I tried to go over it in my head, nothing sounded right.
I rubbed my hands together, ignoring the cold chill around my body. My head tilted up forward the sky for a moment. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but the thick clouds that I gazed upon, in some ways, were relaxing.
“I just don’t know what to do,” I mumbled to myself, “everything feels so hard lately.” I swallowed and looked back at the ground.
My back tensed at the sound of steps behind me. I turned halfway, and my eyes instantly met Rose’s. My breath caught in my throat. Her hair was pinned back at the sides, her face flat, emotionless, her hands tucked into the pocket of a black pea-coat — and she looked so beautiful.
“Rose,” I said and stepped towards her, “I’m so glad you’re here.” I exhaled. Feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders, just knowing she was okay. “What happened with Lindsey after we left?”
Rose eyed me and then spoke. “She signed the papers,” Rose replied.
I blinked. “Really?” I asked her, my heart squeezing, “that’s good, I mean. That’s what you wanted.” Was it what I wanted? Butterflies ravaged my stomach at Rose’s proximity.
She nodded. I ached at how distanced she felt from me. Like she was trying to hide herself. Had I hurt her that much?
“I’m so sorry for leaving you,” I told her, and removed the distance between us. My hands moved to her face, my lips pressed against hers. My kiss expressed all I could to apologize, to show her that I cared. Passionate, hot.
But she wasn’t kissing me back.
Rose pulled back from me and stepped back a step. I watched her jaw tighten. Her eyes glisten over slightly.
My brow furrowed. “You were right,” I told her, “about Grey. He lied to me about still being involved with his family, selling drugs. I told him I’m done. Malak even walked away from him.”
Rose’s eyes widened slightly, and her shoulders lifted, but I watched her quickly seem to pull herself together, her face going blank again.
“I’m glad for you,” Rose replied.
My stomach knotted, I suddenly had a bad feeling. “Yes, but for you too,” I told her, my eyes starting to burn.
Rose looked away for a moment, before meeting my gaze again. Her eyes were colder than I had ever seen before. A chill ran down my spine.
“What’s going on?” I asked her, “what did you want to talk about?” I had thought she was perhaps just coming to give me a chance to apologize, but I had done that, and there she was, standing there, stiff, colder than the late fall air around us. Pushing my kiss away.
“I’ve decided it’s better for my future to cut ties with Lindsey,” Rose said.
“I completely understand that I—“ I started, but she put a hand up, and I realized she wasn’t done talking. A lump formed in my throat.
Rose licked her lips once. “…to cut ties with Lindsey and you.”
The surrounding cold no longer mattered. My entire body was on fire with panic.
“What?” I asked her, “Rose, what are you talking about?” I stepped closer, reaching to touch her, but she stepped back from me in an almost robotic motion.
My breath quickened. “Please, just, come inside, let’s talk,” I told her, “I get not wanting Lindsey in your life anymore, but, please, Rose…” I felt breathless all of the sudden, like I couldn’t form a sentence that wasn’t a desperate plead of the same string of words.
“You and your sister are no good for me, Kelly,” Rose said, a lit to her voice that was almost an emotion, but not quite.
“What?” I nearly growled. Tears burned at my eyes and dripped down over my lash line. “You can’t be fucking serious, Rosalinda,” I said, “you’re the one who came to me. Telling me you care for me, that you want me. Or do you not remember that?”
Rose inhaled slowly and reached into her pocket. “You left this in the guest room,” she said, and held her hand out to me.
My eyes darted down, and I saw my bracelet, the silver charms reflecting what little sunlight was getting through the clouds.
I took it, holding the delicate jewelry in my hand, but when I looked back up, Rose was stepping back and turning around. Anger flared throughout my entire body.
“Fuck you!” I yelled at her and threw the bracelet in her direction. Through my blurry vision I watched it hit the back of her jacket and fall to the pavement with a clatter. I whirled around towards the building, tears streaming down my face as I rushed to the front door.
“I hope you can live with yourself.”