35. Chapter 35
35
Rose
M y car door closed behind me, the warm air inside the cabin rushing to greet me, as it had been left on idle. The second I was alone, I broke. Tears rushed over my lash line and down my face. My stomach twisted in terrible, awful, painful knots. I leaned my arms against the steering wheel and my head soon followed. That look on Kelly’s face, the sheer pain and betrayal. I couldn’t blame her, no not at all.
It was what I had been hoping for. It would be easier for her to let go if she hated me. What I hadn’t anticipated was how difficult it would be to hold it together while I was standing face to face with her. I had pushed down my emotions as far as I could until all I felt was nothing but cold emptiness; but as I sat in the car all alone, I cried. I knew I was all alone. Saying goodbye to Kelly meant saying goodbye to Malak, but I couldn’t face him too. Kelly was probably inside, telling him about my heartlessness, and I hoped to God he was eating it up. Both of them would be better off without me now. I needed them to think that.
Tears dripped on my steering wheel, my breath catching painfully in my throat.
“I deserve this,” I mumbled to myself, “why else would this happen?” I gulped and tilted my head up. I knew I needed to face Joseph, but I wasn’t ready. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to shut everything out again.
One breath in, one breath out. Until I wasn’t crying anymore, and all I felt was a empty hole in my chest. I stared, red eyed, at the glass of the windshield in front of me, looking past it, looking past the apartment building in front of me.
Greyson. I need to find him.
Kelly had mentioned that I was right about Grey. Whether that was true, I knew it had to mean that they had shut him out, or he had run off, too. There were only a few places I could think that he would be later in the evening, especially after something going down between him and Malak.
Apex was the first place I knew he could be at, and it was the first place I was going to search.
Even if Malak had abandoned Grey, something even I hadn’t been able to get him to do, I knew that Grey would not be able to resist Apex. It was a place I had struggled to resist for years while married to Lindsey — and I had almost exclusively been there with Malak. I couldn’t go right away, he wouldn’t be there so early, but, it didn’t stop me from hovering nearby, sitting in the diner, sipping at coffee and picking at a plate of greasy french fries until the night truly started to roll around.
I pulled the clips out of the sides of my hair and raked my fingers through it, getting myself together. Taking a deep breath, I slapped several large bills on the table and headed down the hallway to the door to the club.
A minute later, I was walking to the bar with yellow yarn tied around my wrist.
My eyes scanned the few other people at the bar, landing directly on Grey. He was nursing his drink, the only drink he’d be allowed to have given that green yarn on his wrist. He looked exhausted; I wasn’t so how he was expecting to get anyone’s attention, but in that moment, he certainly got mine.
I looked at the bartender.
“Red wine,” I said, and a moment later the bartender had obliged. I tipped the glass to my lips, taking a much larger drink than I normally would, and slid over beside Grey.
His gaze lazily shifted to me, looking bored, until he realized who he was looking it. His eyes widened for a moment, then he sighed.
“Rosie,” he mumbled, “fantastic.” He looked around, suddenly looking slightly panicked.
“They aren’t here,” I assured him.
He sighed. “Why are you?” he asked, “I’d thought you’d all be wrapped in sheets together by now.”
I took another drink, trying to calm the wave of anxiety that was forcing its way through my body. Breathe in, breathe out.
Tilting my glass to my lips again, I paused for a brief moment. I set the glass down on the bar. “It seems we’re both without them,” I replied.
Grey blinked. “What?” he asked, “I would have thought they’d be begging you to crawl back to them after pushing me away.”
I eyed him. “What happened, exactly?”
Grey sighed and took a drink. “Not important.”
I rolled my eyes and scooted closer to him. “Clearly, it is, if you’re sitting here looking defeated, not even trying to score with anyone here, despite that green on your wrist.”
Grey glared at me and then looked down at the bar. “I lied to Kelly,” he explained, “about being involved with my family, about dealing. She found out.”
“Seriously, Grey?” I asked, “why would you lie about that?”
“I didn’t think anything serious was going to come from her, I knew it would only drive her away, so,” he trailed off.
“Now look where you are,” I replied.
He snorted. “Look where you are,” he said, looking over at me with a furrowed brow.
“I was there for what you said in Holly,” Grey reminded me, “don’t act like you care. I knew Kelly would never go for me if she knew, I know you don’t care about me. I just never thought Malak would actually turn his back on me.”
My heart dropped into my stomach. Grey’s eyes were tired, sad. I had never seen him quite so miserable. There was some part of me that thought, if I ever saw him in such a way, I’d be glad, but in that moment, it only added to my pain.
“Oh, Grey,” I said quietly, “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was wrong.”
He blinked. “Really? Even after knowing I lied to Kelly?” he eyed me, “What happened?”
I grabbed my glass and downed the rest of it, swallowing and sliding it back onto the bar. It wasn’t enough, but it would do.
My tongue darted over my lips, and I debated my answer for a moment. “Kelly’s father gave me no choice but to end things with her,” I told him, it was not quite the whole truth.
Grey eyed me. “Really?” he asked, “what does he have over on you?”
I sighed. As gelatin brained as Grey could be, he wasn’t nearly as empty-headed as I’d prefer he was in that moment. “Need to know,” I told him.
Grey took another drink and turned to face me more. “Well, whatever it is, it must be pretty bad for you to just give up on Kelly like that,” he mumbled, “though, it must sting to know Malak gave up on me for Kelly, but he wouldn’t for you.”
I narrowed my eyes, my fingers curling against the top of the bar, but then shook my head and looked to the side for a moment. I watched the people who were mingling, some of them quite engrossed already in their activities, others taking their time.
“You know what, yes,” I replied, and turned my head, meeting Grey’s pained green eyes, “it does hurt, but what am I going to do about it?” I shrugged and leaned my elbow against the bar. I watched Grey’s gaze shift down to the part in my partially unbuttoned shirt. My ears heated. Though sex had not been centered on him the night before, it was hard to forget. What he lacked in maturity, he made up for with his tongue.
It was so easy to put my attention on him, one of the last pieces I had left of the group I felt guilty for dismantling.
It was too easy to be distracted by Grey. That look of hurt and frustration in his eyes, that for one of the first times since I had known him, I truly understood in the deepest way possible. I took a slow breath and brushed my hand over the top of his hand that was on the bar.
“You know, I meant what I said about thinking you were just fun,” I told him.
Grey’s face contorted. “Well, jee, thanks a fuck ton.”
“I wasn’t finished,” I insisted, “I meant it, at the time, but I was just nervous. There’s a lot that goes on with your family, and mine, Kelly’s — and I thought that I just wanted to protect her, which I do; but mostly I was just scared to really move on.”
“So, what you said then was just you having commitment issues?” he asked, a smirk on his face, “and what you did tonight, was that to protect Kelly, or yourself?”
“Maybe both of us,” I admitted, “but her especially. Perhaps someday I can figure it out, but I’m pretty sure she hates me.”
Grey laughed softly. I furrowed my brows at him.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s kind of hilarious, both of us sitting here, fuck-ups, alone,” he said, “it’s a weird twist compared to when you walked away from Malak.” He finished off his drink and put it on the bar.
My fingers curled against his hand, nails pressing into his flesh. He looked down at our hands, and then over at me, eyes smoldering.
“So what, you want me now?” he asked, “now that they’re done with you?”
“Look, I regret asking Malak to give you up, especially knowing what I do now,” I told him, “and if you don’t want to see me either, I-“
Grey put a finger to my lips, cutting me off. “Hey, I didn’t say I had a problem with it,” he replied, “as stuck up as you’ve always been, and aside from what happened with Malak,” he took a breath, and looked like he was trying to get the words out without his entire face turning red, “I’ve always liked you.”
I chuckled once. “Is this something you’re just figuring out?” I asked.
“From what I hear, you’re just figuring a lot out,” Grey teased me.
I swallowed and leaned closer to him. Desperate for something to ease the ache of pain and arousal I felt. “Fucking you, Kelly, and Malak, was the best night of my life,” I whispered, watching his pupils dilate, “and as much as you annoy the living hell out of me, I want you.”
Grey kissed me, his lips capturing mine rough and needily. I shifted in my seat, one of my arms draping over his shoulder, leaning closer to him as we kissed. His mouth tasted like beer, a taste I normally hated, but in that moment, was my savior. Grey’s hand slid to my hip, pulling me forward and off the bar stool. My feet steadied themselves and I leaned into Grey.
I nipped at his bottom lip and listened to him hum out in pleasure. The fingers of my other hand slipped to the v neck of his shirt, and brushing along his smooth skin.
Kissing Grey was nothing like kissing Malak, their tastes so incredibly different, the way they moved their tongues—but I liked it. More than I could have imagined I would.
His mouth parted from mine. “Let’s go to a back room,” Grey crooned at me.
I shivered, but leaned back from him, sitting back down in my seat and brushing my thumb under my bottom lip, collecting the saliva there. “Oh, slow down darling,” I chuckled softly, “when’s the last time you showered?” I reached a hand over and brushing the tips of my fingers along his hair, ruffling it ever so slightly.
Grey rolled his eyes and looked at his beer longingly, but didn’t answer.
“Where are you staying?” I asked him.
“A hotel,” he replied.
I pursed my lips and pulled my car keys out of my pocket. “Here, go start my car,” I told him, “I’ll be out in a few, we can go to my new place and have more to drink, perhaps get cleaned up, hmm?”
Grey’s eyes lit up, and he smiled crookedly. “Yes, Ma’am,” he teased, though his words lit a fire in me he was probably not aware of. I eyed him as he got out of his seat and walked away.
Once he disappeared from view, I pulled my phone out, tapping and starring at the screen for a long moment before I finally pressed call.
It only rang twice.
“Rosalinda.”
I cleared my throat. “Hello Joseph,” I said, my voice low, “I did as you asked.”
“You broke up with Kelly?” he asked me.
I ignored the knot in my stomach. “Yes,” I replied, “She hates me, just like you want. I hope you’re happy that you’ve made both your daughters’ lives miserable.”
Joseph didn’t respond to that, glossing over it like he did so many things. “I’ll leave you alone, and as promised, I won’t tell Kelly what you did,” he said, his voice making me sick, “I’ll also leave telling your family why your marriage really ended to you, but if I were you, I wouldn’t.”
My heart squeezed in my chest. “Goodbye, Joseph.”
I hung up the phone and shoved it back into my suit jacket pocket, there was a soft jangle as I did so. I reached in and pulled the contents out. It had hit my back as I walked away. It had been as easy as breathing, turning out, picking it up off the ground and shoving it into my pocket.
I watched as Kelly’s bracelet dangled from my fingers. Cold silver that would, if it could, seem sad in the absence of her wrist. As the jewelry swayed side to side ever so slightly, I caught the reflection of my face in the charm of a heart.
I had a piece of her in my hand, and I was never going to let it go.