26. Ledger
Ledger
I stare at her, struggling to catch my breath. She stole it, along with the rest of me.
“Are you, okay?” she asks.
I nod and kiss her one more time before forcing my body to move off of hers. I run to the bathroom, and my brain struggles to process.
I’m stunned, and a little confused. But I don’t quite know why.
All I know is that I love this softer side of her.
I want to see it more. She’s not all rough and tumble and mouthy.
Even though I like her like that. I can see that soft woman beneath it all, and it screams at everything in me to protect it.
Protect her. Give her the space, the safety to be that woman.
Climbing back into bed, she rolls into my side, and I tuck a curl behind her ear.
“I know you’re not partial to words, but some would be great about now,” she says.
I huff and grab her hand, kissing her knuckles. “You’ve left me speechless.”
She grins mischievously and wiggles her brow suggestively.
My stomach growls, and I ignore it.
“I heard that,” she mumbles into my chest.
I don’t answer, and she lifts her head. “The last thing I want to do is let the beautiful meal you cooked for us go to waste.”
“Then, let's get some grub.”
We roll out of bed, and I grab my boxers while she reaches for my undershirt and pulls it over her head before flouncing out of the bedroom.
I smile to myself and follow her down the hallway. “Everything is probably cold,” I tell her.
“Good thing microwaves exist,” she says, rounding the island.
I grin down at her and drop a kiss on her mouth before I slide the plate with the steaks into the microwave.
I planned on lighting the candles in the center of my table. Maybe even dancing a little bit. I didn’t have expectations for the night. It’s not my style. But the way she looked at me, the want pouring from her eyes was too much to ignore.
It’s not much of a question as to where I stand with Shiloh. I think I made that decision a while ago, after I married her.
I told her I’m serious about us, but I’m not sure she feels the same way. Rather, I don’t know if she’s ready to dive into the deep end with me. I don’t half-ass anything. But I recognize patience may be crucial for her, and I’m willing to do the work. I’m willing to earn my wife.
When the steaks are heated, I throw the mashed potatoes in the microwave next while I plate.
She opens the wrong drawer, looking for utensils, and I go to the right side of the oven and open the drawer.
“I was getting there,” she says.
I smile and give her a fork and a knife. “You’re the one who moved them.”
Shiloh rolls her eyes and snatches them from my hands. “Maybe I was looking for something else.”
I snort and grab myself one of each and return next to her as she cuts into the steak. I watch her slip the fork past her lips, and I can’t stop looking at her lips.
“If you keep staring at me like that, our food will get cold again,” she says without looking at me.
I clear my throat and grab us two glasses, and fill them with water. I hand her one and down my own.
“Someone’s thirsty.”
I set my glass on the counter and take a breath. “I’m thirsty for someone, alright.”
Shiloh’s cheeks turn a beautiful rosy pink, and her lips disappear behind her teeth.
The microwave beeps, and I scoop mashed potatoes onto our plates.
“Thank you for making dinner,” she says.
“No problem,” I mumble and sit down at one of the barstools.
She’s still standing, but we keep staring at each other. Everything has changed now, and it’s not just the sex.
The issue of her ex is like a tick burrowing under the skin, irritating and sucking the life out of the possibility of a real marriage.
I want his ass in a jail cell, but I have to find him first. It has very little to do with what he did to my house, though I am pressing charges. It has everything to do with what he’s done to Shiloh and this town.
But through all of this, I realized something, and it feels fairly obvious when I look at the actions he’s taken and his disappearance.
She was with the son of the head of the Kensingtons for a long time.
She was with Grey as their operation grew.
I’m willing to bet she’s seen or heard plenty, and the more I learn about her, the more I wonder if she’s holding something back.
Shiloh slips her arms around my waist, bringing me out of my thoughts, and I stare down at her, consumed by her beauty and worried that it will all fall apart. I can’t control her, nor do I want to. But I want to protect what’s growing between us — desperately.
She tilts her head up, silently asking for a kiss, and I give it to her. It’s wild to me how we’ve begun to communicate silently to each other. My chest lifts at the thought.
She hums, and I pull back. Her eyes are still closed, then she opens them, but her expression drops, making my stomach go with it.
“What?” I ask her.
She makes a funny face. “I … uh, don’t know. But I don’t know what to do with you most of the time, anyway.”
I huff. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her hazel eyes brighten. “It means you’re so tight-lipped that steely face is nearly unreadable most of the time,” she says, dragging a finger over my lips.
“That’s just my face,” I mumble against her finger.
She snorts. “Then change it.”
I raise a brow. “How should I go about that?”
Her small smile splits into a wide grin. “Because I love it when you smile.”
“Then give me something to smile about, criminal.”
She laughs and then leans forward, pushing her chest into mine. “Or I could give you something to moan about.”
I chuckle darkly as a flame lights my blood.
She licks her bottom lip, watching me intently.
“Well?”
“Maybe I should find me a woman who could do both?” I say and leave her standing there.
She gasps in offense, and before I cross into the living room. She leaps onto my back, and I grab the back of her knees to keep her from falling as her arms wrap tightly around my neck, and I don’t care one bit that she’s basically choking me.
“You severely underestimate me,” she mumbles into my neck.
I laugh and her thighs tighten on my sides. “Damn, that’s beautiful,” she whispers.
With my back to the sofa, I set her down on the arm and spin around so I’m standing between her legs and my hands at her lower back.
“No, Shiloh, I don’t bother trying to estimate you at all because I can’t seem to anticipate a single thing you do.”
“I like to keep you on your toes,” she says, smiling and drawing her hands through my hair.
“Yes, you do.”
She sobers for a minute, spotting the new couch and coffee table.
“I thought you said you liked it,” I mumble.
She nods and faces me. “I do, but … I’m sorry, I—”
I silence her with my mouth.
She surrenders to me immediately, and I tilt her face the way I want, making her whimper, and I swallow it.
We explore every inch of each other already discovered, but I want her to feel how mine she is.
Ring or no ring, there’s no going back for me.
There’s no letting her go. We gave each other the deepest parts of ourselves, and it’s a done deal for me.
I pull back on a sharp inhale, and she gasps, holding my shoulder to steady herself.
“Stop apologizing for the actions of others, Shiloh. I knew what I was doing by covering for you, and I don’t regret it. Yes, what happened sucks, but all that matters to me is you’re safe now.”
“But I—”
Grabbing both of her thighs, I yank her into me so she can feel how much I don’t care about the house. I’m glad she’s safe.
We’re in a standoff. She pins her lips together and her lashes flutter.
I lift a brow, and her chest moves up and down with quick breaths.
“I’ll take that as a ‘you’re not mad’?” she asks, her beautiful hazel eyes glitter on me, and I don’t know how I could ever be mad with eyes like that.
“No, I’m not mad, but from now on we’re playing by my rules. Okay? I can’t have something happen to you.”“But you said Grey is gone,” she whispers.
I groan because I really don’t want to hear that sorry excuse of a man’s name roll off her tongue when we’re in this position, or really any position, clothes on or off.
“I did, but I need you to start checking in with me. I’m going to rearrange patrols to look for him. We’re short staffed, but we need to find him.”
The space between her brows scrunches together, and she tilts her head. “Just to find Grey?” she asks.
I nod. “I might even put up a wanted poster.”
“That’s very Wild West of you, sheriff.”
I grunt and kiss her cheek. “The Wild West still exists out here.”
She sobers and nods. Outlaw justice is still a thing. People still take the law into their own hands. Some of it is justified. A lot of it isn’t. Out here is not like the city folks, and the organized chaos — it’s truly wild.
“I have a question for you.”
She tilts her head and gathers the edge of my shirt. “The answer is yes,” she says, tossing the clothing to the side, leaving her naked in my arms.
I chuckle. “That was not even remotely close to what I was going to ask you, but I’m not complaining,” I say, trailing my gaze over her skin.
“What were you going to ask me?”
“I want to take you to Sunday dinner.”
“That’s not a question,” she whispers.
“No, it’s not. It’s more of what I want to happen, and I need to see if you object to it.”
Her lips twist, and she straightens, resting her head on my chest while her legs stay around my waist.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to go. My family can be a lot, and they know we’re married, but they don’t know why, so they’ll pepper you with questions left and right.”
“But they know about … my past,” she whispers.
I grab her chin and tilt it up so I can look her in the eye. “Shiloh, I hate to break it to you, but everyone in this town does, so that’s hardly an excuse.”
“But I’m from the wrong side of the tracks,” she mutters, looking anywhere else but at me.
“We don’t have train tracks in Paxton.”
She takes a breath and looks up at me.
“You’re sure you want me to go?”
I dip my chin.
“What if they don’t like me?” she asks, and I hate how small she sounds.
“Impossible.”
She snorts. “Pretty sure June and I have never gotten along.”
“I would like to think that you’ve both left your teenage angst behind.”
Shiloh groans.
“Baby, you can keep looking for all the excuses, but you’re not going to find one.
I want you to come. So unless you have something else going on…
” I trail off. I don’t want to force her into anything, but I think it’s time.
The way I feel about her is anything but ordinary or temporary.
It’s time she falls into the fold of my favorite people. “What if I have to work?” she asks.
I give her a look, and she shrugs. “It’s true, I might have to work.”
“How about you call off work, or find someone to pick up your shift?”
“But they might need me,” she mumbles.
I lean down and kiss her again and again, mapping her heated skin with my lips.
She sighs, drawing her hands through my hair, and a groan rumbles in my throat.
I graze my nose on her jaw, stopping at her ear. “But I need you, Shy,” I rasp into her ear.
She visibly shivers in my arms and takes a nervous breath.
“Okay, fine, I don’t have to work.”
I chuckle. “That’s what I thought.” I find her mouth again, and carry her back to bed.