Chapter 11
DANTE
I’m trapped.
Raquel has captured something inside me. Something I never meant to give her. I’m starting to like her a little too much. The need to fuck her has become all I can think about, but that’s not all. I’m starting to care about her, and I can’t do that.
It all dawned on me earlier today while I was at work, when I couldn’t fucking wait to see her. Then at the pool, when she fell into the water, this crazy feeling of intense worry latched on to me with a fury. And when we kissed, I never wanted it to stop.
Why is it this easy with her when she’s the last woman on earth I should want?
Taking her was never just about revenge.
During the time when I followed her, I witnessed how miserable she was when no one was looking.
I felt it inside my bones, the hurt she was carrying all alone.
I wanted more than anything to help her.
But I didn’t know I’d grow to care for her this way.
It scares me more than anything ever has.
I can’t let myself fall in love with her. I can’t give her that part of me. If I do, it’ll be a betrayal to my family. A betrayal to everything we’ve vowed for the last fifteen years.
But how do I expect to stop my growing feelings while living with her, especially when I don’t even stay away? How the hell am I supposed to keep myself from feeling something I never thought I wanted, especially with a Bianchi, the family who hated us growing up?
When Dom and Chiara were friends back when we were kids, he’d hear the shit her father would say about our family. Dom told us everything, and we never forgot.
It never made sense, though. We were like anyone else in the neighborhood. A simple middle-class family living to get by. There has to be a reason why they hated us. And if there is, I’ll find it.
I take great pleasure in killing our enemy, in destroying everything they value. It stills the raging of my heart and the rotting of my soul. It calms the demons that soak my veins. If Raquel knew this side of me, she’d never see me the same way again.
Maybe I should let her meet the monster. Maybe then she’ll stay away.
I can’t continue treating her the way I’ve been.
I have to push her away, so far that the sweet taste of her lips can’t touch me in my dreams. She belongs across the line, in enemy territory.
For as long as we’re married, the battle lines will be drawn, where there’ll be no confusion for either of us.
Touching her, kissing her…it was all a mistake. A damn foolish one. One I won’t make again. I thought I could have her body and not let her fall into my heart, but I was dead wrong.
The only way I can have her is with a purely sexual relationship. No kissing, just fucking. That gorgeous woman is my wife, after all. I can try to cage my heart, but I sure as fuck can’t cage my cock.
I’m certain I can get her to comply to my terms, at least for these few months where she believes we’re only married for both of our convenience. After that, she’ll hate me so damn much, she probably won’t want to fuck me anyway.
My hands bend into tight fists at the thought of not being with her the way we have been. At the thought of making her think she means nothing.
“Hey, Dante,” Ellie calls as she walks into the VIP room of Vixen, one of the three clubs my brothers and I own.
Shit. Why is she here?
“Ellie, hey. How you been?” I shift uncomfortably on the red suede couch.
The music blasts from the DJ booth below as she takes a seat beside me, too damn close. Vixen is a two-story nightclub, with all the VIP rooms on the second floor and enough space to dance.
“I’ve missed you,” she purrs in my ear, her long fingers massaging the top of my thigh.
She pulls back her gray eyes, leisurely scanning my face and body. Her hand goes to her short brown hair that’s longer in the front, framing her face.
“Have you missed me?” Her bright pink lips tilt up.
“I’ve been busy,” is my cool reply.
What else am I supposed to say?
No. Sorry, babe. I don’t even think about you. I’m only capable of thinking about one woman, apparently, and it ain’t you.
“Is that a polite way of saying no?” She giggles, and it annoys the fuck out of me for some reason. It never did before.
She’s pretty and we’ve hooked up more than once, but I have no interest in that anymore, not since…
Raquel.
God damn it. I can’t stop thinking about her no matter how fucking hard I try, and I am trying. Kind of.
Ellie was my regular hookup for the past few months.
I enjoyed her company for the purpose it served, but things are different now, and I’m not willing to be with her or anyone else.
Even if my wife is the daughter of my sworn enemy, marriage is still a promise of loyalty, so I’m not fucking Ellie, even if I wanted to. Which I don’t.
“I invited her here for you,” Enzo whisper-shouts from my left, grinning as though he’s done me some kind of favor.
“Who the fuck asked you to?” I bark out with a little too much irritation.
“Shit. What’d she do? Bite your dick off or something?” He chuckles, only amusing himself.
But I’m not laughing. I glare, which gets him grinning.
“Do you remember that time we messed around in the bathroom?” Ellie keeps fucking talking at my right. “You’re still the best I’ve ever had.”
She bites the edge of her lower lip, wrapping a loose strand of her hair around her finger.
Goddamn, she doesn’t get the hint. I need to be firmer or she’ll never drop this.
“Look, Ellie, you’re great and everything, you really are, but I’ve started seeing someone, and I kinda like her.”
That’s only half the truth. I’m not seeing her at all. We’re actually married. Surprise.
“Oh.” Her eyes widen a bit, her lips parting in obvious shock. “I’m sorry, Dante. I didn’t know.”
Me either.
This is the first time I’ve admitted to liking Raquel out loud.
Ellie straightens her back, angling her face sideways, her eyes on me.
“Well, you deserve to be happy.” She runs her long, black nails through the front of her hair, her features bowing with disappointment. “I was kind of hoping it’d be with me, but I guess you never saw me that way.”
“I’m sorry,” I offer, because it’s the only thing I have.
“Whoa!” Enzo says a little too loudly. “Did you mean you like Raquel?”
“Shut the fuck up!” I yell into his ear. “I don’t need Dom hearing that.”
Dom is currently pushing a girl off his lap, clearly pissed, judging by the expression on his face. The only reason he came tonight was to meet with a big-time investor we need to expand our empire. We plan to open a few more clubs, but we need capital.
Johnny, the man we’re trying to impress, looks like he’s having a grand old time, dancing with two women who are about thirty-five years younger than he is. He’s sixty, and looks decent for his age. And damn, can he drink…and his taste is as expensive as the yachts he owns.
“Shit.” Enzo interrupts my thoughts. “You’re serious about liking Raquel?”
“No, I’m not.”
But Enzo knows me well. Both of my brothers do.
“You’re a fucking liar.” He bumps a fist into my shoulder.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll never be with her. Leave it at that.”
“Bro, you’re already married. You’re with her in every way, whether you like it or not. That’s what you wanted. What’s wrong with also liking her?” His brows pull in confusion. “It’s not a crime.”
“Her fucking name! That’s what!” I practically shout in his ear. “Or did you forget that?”
“That’s what has your balls twisted?” He lets out an exaggerated laugh. “So what? She didn’t do shit to us, man. She may be one of them by blood, but she’s not her father. She didn’t hurt our family.”
“Being with her is a betrayal to our family name. To everything we stand for.”
“Says who? That’s you talking. Not any one of us.” He clasps my shoulder. “Listen, bro. I know you and Dom never listen to me—I’m the kid brother and shit—but I’ll tell you one thing. Life is too damn short to get hung up on names. If you like her and if she likes you, then it’s worth it.”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Once she finds out who we are—who I am—it’ll be over.”
“Or, maybe it won’t.” He smirks. “Maybe there’s a chance that she’ll eventually forgive your corny ass.”
“Wait a damn minute.” I pull back, giving him a hard stare. “Are you giving me advice on relationships? The brother who swears he’ll never give a girl a ring?”
“So?” He shrugs a shoulder. “That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in it. I just don’t believe in it for me. You’re different. You always were.”
“Okay, Dr. Oz,” I half tease, not wanting to admit he could be right or let his words sit in my head too long.
Raquel and I can’t be anything but two people sworn into a life we didn’t create. It was handed to us by her father and her uncles, and that’s all we will be.
“Don’t you mean Dr. Phil?” Enzo asks.
“I don’t fuckin’ know,” I chuckle as I grab him in a chokehold, my knuckles roughly rubbing the top of his head. “Look at you, being all grown up.”
“What the hell, man?!” He fights me off with a laugh, the heaviness of the conversation long behind us. “Don’t mess up my hair. I’m taking Tatiana back to my place.”
And he’s back.
RAQUEL
I wake to an empty bed, the space beside me cool to the touch. My stomach drops more than it should.
Did he ever come home from his business meeting?
I glance at the digital clock on the nightstand, noticing it’s seven in the morning.
Why should I care if he stayed out all night with his tongue down some woman’s throat? But my gut boils over with an insane amount of jealousy at the images of him doing what he’s done to me to someone else.
I pull in a long, frayed inhale.
We’re nothing. He doesn’t owe me an explanation.
Three months. That’s all this is. A fake marriage. No attachments.
That’s what I told myself from the start.
So why am I having such a problem now?
No big deal. He’s just a guy I hooked up with. That’s all.
You like him. He does crazy things to your pulse and even crazier things to your body. Don’t deny it.