Chapter 21
AIDA
I’ve been in the shower for hours, the hot water sluicing down my body. I can still feel their hands. Everywhere. My insides ache, my skin burning from the mere thoughts. The tears have long been replaced by silence and I don’t want them to get out again.
The bathroom is like a false safe haven, where no one can touch me. But my father, he can do anything. Anytime. He proved that today.
His wickedness knows no bounds. He tears me down every single time I think I’ve finally built myself back up. I’ll never escape him. I’ll never be free. Not unless I die.
After tonight, I wish I were. If only I had ended my life when I swallowed those pills. Why the hell didn’t they work? Why did Matteo have to save me? If he hadn’t, maybe I’d have choked on my own vomit instead.
It’s well past morning the following day. I only know because of when I arrived home. Destiny cleaned me up after they were through with me and helped me get dressed before one of my father’s men drove me home.
I can’t get all those people out my head. How could they just sit there and do nothing as though I was just an actress? It’s sick. It’s as though they’ve lost their minds to their depravity.
Those men, I can still feel their breaths on my neck, their groans in my ear. My stomach rolls and I dry heave in the shower, gasping for air, clawing at my chest.
My skin at my arms is a bright red from how hot the water is, but I barely feel a thing.
I stay here as long as I can, then shut off the water and open the glass door, stepping out into the chill.
My body shivers as I grab a towel, drying off with shaky hands, putting on an oversized hoodie and sweats.
When I exit to my room, Ms. Greco is there with a mug in hand. “Drink this. It’s chamomile tea.”
I take it and plod to my bed, sitting on one side while she sits on the other.
“A-Aida…” She trails off. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, everyone is always sorry.” I laugh bitterly.
“Your mother, she loved you so much,” she whispers with a cry.
“What?” I jerk, drops of tea burning my thigh. “Wait a minute, are you saying…” I swallow, my mouth dry and sandy.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
My pulse beats in my ears for several seconds.
She stares down, avoiding me, and when she peers up, there’s shame within her gaze. “I—I’m sorry for lying… I…” Her voice echoes with whispered cries.
I jerk back, a sudden eerie feeling creeping up my arms.
“When you asked me about that dream,” she goes on, “I froze. I didn’t think you’d ever remember, and I didn’t want you to. And your mother, she wouldn’t want it either. She had me swear if you ever asked, I’d lie.”
“W-wha— Are you saying I saw…my memories?” I recoil. “No…” I breathe.
She nods solemnly. “You were almost five when I met you. Such a smart girl. Beautiful like your mother.” She smiles sadly, her lips tight. “I just started working for him when I met you both. That’s why he brought me here, to take care of you.”
The cup trembles in my hands and I slowly lower it onto the nightstand. I didn’t want my dreams to be real. I didn’t want that for my mother. For me. It was better when I thought she died in childbirth…but now…
Oh God.
Tears slam past my defenses even when I swore I was done crying.
“Whenever I’d come down to bring you two food, your mom and I would talk. I’d like to think we became friends. She had me promise that if anything should happen to her, I’d look out for you. I hope I’ve done that. I hope…” She sniffles. “I hope I’ve been able to do that one thing for her.”
“What happened to my mother?” I whisper, edging to the middle of the bed. “Where is she?”
“Oh, Aida…” Her brows pinch. “I don’t think you want to hear this.”
“Tell me.” My words are fitted with agitation.
Her eyelids drift to a close. “One night after he…”
“Raped her?” I finish.
“Yeah.” She pulls in a long, heavy breath, like reciting it is difficult, and I’m sure it is.
“A few weeks after you two arrived, he was dragging her across the hall upstairs and she started yelling at him, calling him names, so he…” Her chin trembles as she shakes her head, a palm landing over her mouth as tears outline her cheeks.
Mine roll down too. “He bashed her head into the wall, over and over until she stopped crying. Until she was no longer moving.”
“Oh God.” A snivel rolls out from me, drenched with her own. “Where’s her body?”
“I don’t know. I’m so sorry.” Her hand lands on mine. “You’re very much her daughter. Tough. Kind.”
My fingers dig into my eyes as I quietly fall into despair. My mother, she was his victim too. And the only light in this tunnel is knowing I don’t share his blood.
“Do you know who my father is?”
“No, I don’t. Your mother never opened up about her life before. She was probably too scared to fully trust me and I don’t blame her. There’s no one you can trust in our world.”
“How could you keep this from me for so long? Knowing how badly I wish I knew my mother!”
“Aida, I thought I was keeping you from more pain. I thought you thinking your mother died in childbirth, like he led you to believe, was far easier to swallow than the truth. But I was wrong.” She cradles my hand in both of hers.
“Your mother, she thought keeping the truth was the best for you too, so I honored her wishes. For that I’m truly sorry.
I hope you can forgive me, because I’ll never forgive myself. ”
A new throbbing builds behind my eyes. “Of—of course, I forgive you.” My tear-filled sobbing slices the room, the pain coming in from all sides.
I don’t know how much I can handle as my torment permeates every living cell in my body, my palms drenched as I cry into them.
Her arms hold me still as we huddle together in shared agony.
I often wonder, why evil rises when goodness falls?
MATTEO
I haven’t slept a wink since they brought me back to the basement. I’ve paced for hours, cursing, screaming, swearing to kill them all. She hasn’t been down here and neither has Ms. Greco.
I don’t fucking know what time it is anymore.
I’m on an endless loop of seeing her hurt by those animals.
It’s lucky they had masks on because I’d find and kill them all.
My heart beats so loud, it practically jumps out of my throat.
I don’t know how to contain my rage. It grows with every second, every hour, until I bash my head against the wall.
Someone’s at the door, and I freeze, my fists balled at my side. “Aida? Is that you?” I want it to be her so goddamn bad. I need to hold her, to keep her with me, away from the clutches of the sadistic man who she thought was her father, and in this basement is the only way I know how.
The stairs creek and she’s finally at the end of them, a hoodie over her head, her eyes streaked red, her eyelids swollen.
“Hi, beautiful—” I break with a cry, and I run to her, reaching just beyond the mattress, just as she runs to me with a sob.
I hold her as we both shed layers of insurmountable agony. I need her to know I feel it too. Her pain. It’s mine just as much as it is hers. Our love has tied our suffering into one loop, and when she bleeds, I do too.
“He brought me to the club a-and…” She wails on my shoulder, her breaths warm, her tears soaking up my shirt.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me because I already know.”
She pushes out of my grasp, her brows snapping. “How?”
“He…” I inhale slowly, shutting my eyes for a second to gather the damn courage to tell her. “He brought me there so I could watch… Fuck!” I explode, punching my forehead with my fist. “Fuck!”
Her hands still over my fist. “Stop. Don’t do that,” she cries.
“I’m sorry, Aida. I’m sick of fucking apologizing to you, but it’s all I’ve got.” My lips lower to her forehead, and I keep them there as seconds drift by, my heartbeats pummeling like crazy.
Once I move back, I stare deep into the brokenness of her gaze. “I swear, if I ever get the chance, I’ll rip out your father’s heart and give it to you while it’s still beating.”
“He’s not my father,” she says.
“Shit. That’s right. He told me that last night. My mind, it’s all…” I swipe a hand past my face.
“It’s okay.” She swats at the tears brimming in her eyes. “Ms. Greco told me after I got home today. She’s known all along but didn’t want to hurt me.”
My palm slides to her cheek, my thumb wet as it rubs under her eye. “She loves you.”
“Our life. It’s—it’s all wrong,” she stammers, her lower lip trembling. “I want to die. I wish I did that day.”
“No, don’t say that.” Tears blur my vision as I stare at her, the dull look of a woman who’s no longer there. “I know what he’s taken from you, but you can’t let him win. We gotta keep on fighting. Corvo Island. It’s waiting for us.”
“Matteo.” She laughs bitterly. “It’s time we realize we’ll die before that ever happens.”
“I refuse to believe that.” My other hand cups her cheek.
“Well…” She shrugs. “I guess that makes us different.”
“Don’t give up on us,” I plead, refusing to let the woman I love go. She’s still in there. I just have to give her time to see me again.
“The next time I’m close to death…” She throws me a hard, unblinking stare. “Don’t save me.”
“Aida…” My voice rolls with emotion. “Don’t ask me that.”
“Pinky swear,” she demands, clenching her jaw, holding out her pinky for mine.
But I don’t give it to her.
“Matteo! Please!” The desperation scrapes up her features.
I don’t want to promise her something I can’t do. I’ll never be capable of letting her die. Yet, I can’t refuse her in this moment either.
With regret piling onto me like heavy stones, my hand slowly crawls toward hers, and I hook her pinky through mine. “Pinky swear.”