Chapter 32
AIDA
The next morning, while Matteo and his brothers spend quality time together, the girls and I do the same. Chiara and Raquel are in the kitchen, Raquel making coffee and cooking breakfast while Robby is planted in between Jade and me on the sofa.
I think they wanted us to have some alone time together and are taking longer on purpose, which I appreciate. There’s so much to say to her, yet at the same time, I don’t know what I could say to make any of this better. She lost her son, while I had him.
Earlier, before Robby woke up, she’d told me about what she’s been through and what her life has been like. She was abused. Raped repeatedly. Property of the Bianchis like many of the other women. I was lucky compared to her. She had no one. But I did. I had people that loved me.
She strokes Robby’s hair while he holds both of our hands, watching television. Agnelo never allowed me to watch television, so I have no idea what’s on.
“Mommy said you’re going to see your daddy tomorrow,” Robby says, glancing my way.
“Yeah, Matteo and I are going to go together.” I gaze into his innocent eyes, full of wonder and forgiveness. That’s one thing kids can do better than us—they can forgive. They can grow and adapt, while we stay stagnant.
It’s hard to bounce back from something that’s been so embedded in my life.
I find the torture of the club in my nightmares, waking up to realize I’m not actually there at all.
I hate that it’s still there in my subconscious.
I’ve waited so long to live my life, to love Matteo, and I can’t even do that.
I know it’ll take time and that I have to be patient, but I’ve waited long enough.
“Are you scared?” he asks.
“A little.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be. He’s going to think you’re great.” He grins. “Like I do.”
“Oh, Robby.” I hold back the emotions this sweet child brings out. “I hope you’re right.”
“He’s absolutely right,” Jade agrees, her eyes landing on me with a warm smile. “He’s going to be happy to see you after all this time.” She grabs my hand, squeezing reassuringly. “You’ll see.”
I nod nervously, trying to look excited, but really my insides are flipping and stirring like they’re having their own party. How do I just show up to his house after all this time and say, “Hey, I’m your long-lost daughter. How you been?”
“I keep agonizing about what to wear. The girls gave me options and I have yet to decide.”
She laughs. “I get it. It’s a big deal.”
“Yeah.” I inhale long and deep. “I think I’m going to try all the outfits again.” I scrunch my nose.
“Put it on for us!” Robby chimes. “We can help you pick!”
“I don’t know…” I pull my lips back.
“Only if you want to,” Jade adds, ruffling his hair with her fingers.
“Want to what?” Chiara comes out with Raquel carrying a tray. For someone who was shot only days ago, I’ve not seen Chiara sit and rest for more than a few minutes.
“Robby suggested I try on the clothes for you guys so you can help me choose what to wear when I go see my father.”
“You’ll look great in whatever you wear,” Chiara says, nestling into the armchair next to me as she winces.
“You okay?” I ask, grabbing a cup of coffee, adding milk and sugar.
“Good as new.” She winks, but I can tell she’s still in a bit of pain.
“Come on, buddy,” Jade tells Robby. “You have to eat.”
“Okay, Mommy.” He kisses her on the cheek and gives her a hug, his face brightening with a beaming smile. And I’m instantly warm and fuzzy all over.
I’d love to have kids of my own someday, lots of them, with Matteo. I know we have a lot to overcome but I know we can have what we always dreamed of.
Robby plants himself in front of the table, grabbing a paper plate, and fills it with pancakes, then squirts syrup on them.
“He’s so going to mess up your floor,” Jade whispers to Chiara.
She waves a dismissive hand. “I don’t care. We’ll clean it.”
“So,” Raquel offers. “Chiara and I were thinking, once she’s better, maybe we can take you girls shopping, then maybe get our nails done.” She pauses as I peer up.
“I’m fine.” Chiara rolls her eyes, but Raquel gives her a stern look, causing her to roll her eyes even harder.
I laugh, considering it. Is that what normal women do? Am I normal? Probably not. Maybe I’ll never be, but maybe this is a step forward. “I think I’d like that.” I grin ear to ear. “I think it’d be good for me.”
“It’s a date, then.” Chiara winks. “You know, whenever Doctor Raquel allows it.”
“Sounds perfect.”
MATTEO
It was hard to separate from Aida today.
We’ve been attached to each other for so long, it’s unnatural to be without her.
Sure, I left the basement when I had to kill, but that’s not the same thing.
But what my brothers and I have to do today is necessary, something we’ve all thought about, but found hard to do—returning to our childhood home.
It was a place filled with timeless memories, of the days when cruelty didn’t exist, when our laughter, and that of our parents, was all we heard. All we remembered.
When I was stuck in that basement, I thought about our house, and dreamed about returning there someday. The child. The dreamer. But with age, the dreams faded, and soon I forgot that place where I was truly happy.
Sitting in Dom’s car, driving back there again, I find myself remembering the dreams held by that child I once was, the child who was ripped apart seam by seam, until he no longer recognized himself.
“You okay?” Dom asks, switching lanes as my foot bounces on the floor, Dante and Enzo driving behind us. I think they wanted to give Dom and me some time to talk alone.
“I don’t know.” My admission is filled with truth. There are feelings in me I can’t even put into words, too great to speak them out loud.
Dom says the house we grew up in is still there. Though they never went back, it was too difficult he said, he still would check on the property.
“Yeah, I get it,” Dom finally says. “I never thought I’d go back to that block ever again.
I just—fuck…” He tightens his hand around the wheel.
“I can’t even believe you’re in my car right now.
” He pauses, his tone edged in the hurt piercing down to my very bones. “You don’t know how much I missed you.”
I draw in a breath, swallowed up by the pain in his voice.
“I hated you all for a long time,” I say. “I didn’t want to believe you guys forgot me, but over time, that’s exactly what I ended up believing.”
His stare on me is hard as we stop at a red light. “Never.” A palm buckles over my shoulder. “I would never abandon my brother.”
“I know that now.”
His hand returns to his thigh as we continue on.
“Shit. We’re here.” The car lurches to a stop, and instantly I’m bombarded with the memories.
It’s exactly the same, except the fence.
It’s taller and white. But the house, it’s as though it’s been picked right out of my mind.
Though I was small, I remember the dark brick home, down to the black door.
Dom slowly climbs out of the car. I follow, my other two brothers jumping out of Dante’s vehicle and walking to us. We stand beside one another, eyeing the house from the curb.
“Damn. It’s exactly the same,” Dante says under his breath.
“Should we knock?” Enzo asks. “You think whoever lives there would let us see inside?”
“If they’re even home,” Dom says.
“Remember when we’d play basketball in the front, and the ball would end up at Connor’s next door?” I chuckle.
“We were lucky his mom was so nice.” Dante’s own laughter comes alive. “Do they still live there?” We peer over at what once was our neighbor’s home. Connor was in Dante’s grade, and one of the few kids on our block. We’d sometimes hang out at their house. Our moms were kind of close back then.
“Let’s find out.” Enzo’s already taking steps there.
“Wait,” Dom calls and Enzo turns. “What the hell are we gonna tell them?”
“We’ll figure it out.” He shrugs, continuing toward the door, knocking once.
“Hold on!” a woman yells.
“Shit,” Dom mutters. Together, we wait, my heart pounding, as the door quickly opens and a lady with short black hair, resembling an older version of the woman I kind of recall, appears.
“Ahh…” Her attention bounces to each of us, and the nerves scatter in her gaze. “How can I help you boys?”
“Mrs. Cuzamano. Forget us already?” Enzo grins.
She squints, her face moving closer to my brother before her gaze grows large, then she’s staring at all of us again.
“Oh my God!” She gasps. “Is that really—”
“The Cavaleri brothers in the flesh?” Enzo stretches out his hands.
Her palm hits her mouth, large tears filling her eyes.
Fingers flutter past her mouth as she shakes her head incredulously.
“I can’t believe this,” she whispers. “I never thought I’d see any of you again.
” Her exhale comes rough as she moves aside.
“Please, come in. I—ahh—I have something to show you.”
I glimpse over at Dom, who matches my curiosity, and one by one, we shuffle inside.
“Have a seat.” She gestures to the brown leather sectional, and we settle on it, a simple round glass table at the center with a vase full of yellow roses, the walls a cream color.
She stands over us, the shock having not worn off. “I don’t even know what to ask.” There’s wonder in the way she stares at each of us. “The police gave up. They stopped searching for all of you. But deep down, I hoped you were all alive, that you ran from trouble or something.”
“We’re not gonna lie to you,” Dom says. “But we can’t tell you everything either.”
She nods slowly. “And your father? Is he—”
“No,” Dom throws in. “He died.”
“Oh no.” Her brows huddle. “I’m so sorry.” A breath whooshes out. “Your parents were the best of us. I hope you know how much they meant to me, and that I miss your mother’s friendship dearly.”
“I’m sure she’d say the same.” Dante speaks this time. “How’s Connor?”