Chapter 1 #2
My air puffs out in front of me in a cloud.
It’s unseasonably cold for October, the normally crisp fall air is thick with December level frost. It’s my favorite time of year, typically, the colors, smells and overall vibe of the spooky season.
The town goes big every year, pumpkins on every corner, the street lights swapped out so they flicker, and Sip Happens even renames every single drink to be themed to the season.
It's the only reason I survive the winter when my flowers finally hibernate. I may not be a summer girl but I’m also not a fucking winter girl.
I need the fall and spring to survive the extreme seasons.
But this year nothing and no one can pull me out of this dark place I’m in, and it seems the weather is inclined to follow my spiral.
When I’m far enough away from my mothers grave I drag the flask from its home, grimacing as I swallow down three large gulps of the liquor.
I savor the burn as it snakes down my throat and into my stomach, the warmth radiating through my limbs.
On second thought, maybe I should have stayed by her.
I could have continued the tradition of drinking over a dead loved one.
I take another swig and another until my head feels fuzzy and my body feels warm from the inside out.
When the flask finally returns to its home the world has gone dark and the chill in the air has deepened.
I pull my cellphone free of the same pocket and take a glance at the text chain again.
I hate that it still hurts to see no response.
I wasn’t even expecting one, not really, but maybe that’s why people often say hope is a dangerous thing.
Because even if it’s just a small fucking smoldering ember it can still burn you.
“Thea… how nice of you to finally make it home.” My step-father’s voice is the first thing I hear as I’m coming down the stairs post shower.
When I had stumbled drunkenly into the house it had been dark and peacefully empty.
I had hoped I could avoid seeing the asshole for the whole evening but alas luck wasn’t on my side.
“Sorry to disappoint." I mutter, avoiding eye contact with the man. I feel him follow behind me as I head towards the kitchen.
He lets out a long sigh. “I know we haven’t been close but I had hoped, with your mother gone now, we could work on that.” I’m thankful he can’t see my face because I’m fairly certain he’d be offended by the look of disgust currently painted across it.
“Its been a long day, can we just talk tomorrow?” I hedge, hoping he’ll stop pestering me.
“I understand how you're feeling, Thea.” He continues, ignoring my statement. “I won’t push it tonight, but perhaps we could enjoy dinner together?”
Turning towards him I’m genuinely shocked by the look on his face. “You really want to have dinner together?”
He winces at the words. “That’s a fair question.
I know my actions haven’t shown you that I want us to be close.
But I would like it if I could make that up to you.
” He moves further into the large kitchen and I watch as he grabs two large plates from the oven.
My mouth waters at the scent of the food.
“I have no hope of ever being a good cook like your mom was but I tried.”
He holds out the plates like an offering and my mouth waters at the sight.
My comfort food has always been mac and cheese with hot dogs.
It was such a kid's food but I couldn’t help it, and my mom made the best homemade version of it.
I can feel my walls starting to crumble as the dangerous little ember of hope flares to life.
I have been so fucking lonely without my mom, and yet here was Roger, a peace offering in the form of melted cheese.
“Dinner wouldn’t hurt.” I say quietly and the hope flares brighter when I see Rodger smile.
I follow him over to the smaller kitchen table, not the grand dining room where he would host parties, but the intimate one that my mom and I would have coffee at.
He pushes the plate towards me with hopeful eyes, picking up the spoon he brought.
I scoop the first bite into my mouth. The pasta has cooled, the cheese no longer as gooey as it typically would be and the taste…
isn’t great truth be told but I smile anyway, swallowing the bite and digging into the next one.
“It’s good.” I assure him.
He seems to relax, his shoulders slumping down. “That’s good to hear, I didn’t think you’d actually eat it.”
The words hang heavy in the air and suddenly this dinner no longer feels as hopeful as it did. He continues to watch as I eat a few more bites, never touching his own food, my uneasiness building the longer he stares.
“I think I’m full.” Setting the spoon down I go to push up from the table but my vision swims. Stumbling, Rodger jumps up and grabs me before I hit the ground.
“Whoa there Thea,” He chuckles. “Can’t have you falling.”
I shake my head, attempting to clear it, but the fuzziness and confusion only gets worse.
It feels like I’m being pulled under by a wave.
Everything is sluggish and I can’t seem to fight as Rodger pushes me down onto the couch.
His face hovers above mine and where I expect to see concern all I see is a smug smile.
“Wasn’t sure how much to give you, not after you’ve been drinking all night.” The words don’t make sense, my brain struggling to filter through them..
“What… what did you do?” I ask, but my words come out slurred.
Rodger smiles at me. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.
” He pauses, glancing towards the front entryway.
I try to turn my head towards whatever has pulled his attention but my body is no longer responding.
Heavy steps echo through the room, moving closer and closer until another man comes into view.
“Hello Theadora, are you ready to come home?”