Chapter 3 Capella
When I came to, I didn’t open my eyes immediately.
I lay there thinking about what I had just seen.
One thing was for sure; I was freezing. I was scared to open my eyes.
What was I going to see? I knew what I had seen couldn’t be real.
I had paws; beautiful, white, furred paws.
I was going crazy. No one in their right mind would believe me.
“Open your eyes,” that small, whispered voice said.
My body felt paralyzed with fear, but I opened my eyes and slowly saw a beautiful glowing white wolf the size of a moose.
Her eyes were purple and blue swirling together, and she was standing in front of me.
I screamed, and she just tilted her head sideways.
“What, who, why, how, please don’t hurt me!”
I started scooting backwards and the wolf just stared at me.
“Hello Celest,” the wolf said “My name is Capella, and I am your inner wolf. Please do not be frightened by me. I have been a part of you for your entire life. I have tried to come forward on every one of your birthdays since your true 18th birthday,
but something has been blocking my power for the last three years.”
I knew that voice it was the voice from earlier the one that told me to run, “My what? Wolf? You must have the wrong person, I only turned 18 today. What are you talking about?” I asked. I must have hit my head pretty hard to be hallucinating a giant wolf who is talking to me.
“Celest, please listen, you are not who you think you are, and your family has been hiding the truth from you. You are 21 now and I have finally been able to reach you. You must make your way to the town to warm your body. You are getting very weak,” Capella said.
I just stared at her for a few moments. “It’s time to go, you need to start moving, I’m going to help you along the way, Celest,” she said and then she closed her eyes and turned into hundreds of tiny blue and purple sparkles and floated into me penetrating my soul.
I was shaking so violently I could barely stand, but I somehow knew she was right.
I had to get to the town or else I would die out here.
I pushed myself onto my shaky legs and started walking forward into the freezing snow.
Every step felt like lifting blocks of lead, and the bitter wind sliced right through my thin clothing.
My hands and feet were completely numb. It was getting harder to move with each step and my legs gave out beneath me.
“I can’t do this Capella, I am so exhausted,” I called out into the darkness not sure if I would get an answer.
“I am here Celest, let me help you,” when I looked down at my hands and feet, they weren't hands or feet at all. They were those pristine glowing white paws, leaving light imprints in the fresh powder.
The realization hit me harder than the cold. Capella wasn't a hallucination. If she was inside me now, then this body, this furry, four-legged form was mine.
"Keep moving, Celest," Capella’s voice echoed directly inside my mind, warmer now, radiating a faint heat from the center of my chest. "The town is just past that hill. Do not let the cold take you."
I focused on that warmth, pushing past the terror of my new reality.
My wolf legs were clumsy, uncoordinated, and trembling violently, but they were also stronger than my human legs had ever been.
I stumbled over a hidden root, tumbling face-first into a drift, but the thick white fur shielded me from the sharpest sting of the ice.
I scrambled back up, a low, instinctual growl escaping my throat, a sound that shocked me just as much as the giant moose-sized specter had.
Over the small hill, I could see down the gravel path.
A cluster of amber lights flickered through the heavy darkness.
It was a small town, looking like a quiet sanctuary against the dark, frozen wilderness.
Relief washed over me, but it was immediately replaced by a sharp spike of panic.
I couldn't just walk into a human town looking like a wild beast.
They would shoot me, or worse, lock me in a cage.
I won’t go back to being locked in a cage!
"Capella," I thought frantically, hoping she could hear my silent panic. "How do I change back? I can't go in there like this."
There was a brief pause before her soothing voice answered.
"Focus on the girl you were this morning. I am spiritually pushing my form forward, this is not a true shift."
I closed my eyes, standing on top of the small hill.
I pictured my face, my ordinary fingers, and the life I thought I knew just hours ago.
A sudden, searing heat surged through my veins, melting the frost on my fur.
A strange but painless pressure pulled Capella back into me.
Within seconds, I collapsed onto the snow on two hands and two knees. I gasped for air, staring at my pale blue, shivering human fingers. It was me against the elements now, and the freezing air hit me like a physical blow.
With the last ounce of my strength, I wrapped my arms around myself and stumbled down the hill and down the gravel path toward the nearest glowing cabin window, desperate for warmth, and desperate for answers about the last three years of my life.
Just as I reached the steps of a log building, Hutchens Burge Inn, was on a sign above the door, my knees gave out and I fell to the ground.
"Hey! Someone's out there!" a gruff voice shouted from inside.
I tried to lift my head, but my vision blurred into darkness.
Before I passed out, a thick, wool blanket was wrapped tightly around my shoulders, as pair of strong arms lifted me off the freezing ground, and I heard a woman voice say, “Celest, is it really you?”