20. Chapter 19
20
Chapter 19
Julen
Dacias’s hand let go of Julen’s as soon as they descended the stairs and reached the cobblestone streets. He walked toward an alley where fewer people were milling about. Julen followed. He was frightened, but he succeeded in accomplishing his goal. He had to talk to Dacias. They reached the alley, and Dacias whipped around to face Julen. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?”
Julen jumped at the shout. Dacias appeared ready to punch holes through the stone walls, flanking them.
Julen swallowed hard and replied, “I…I…”
Dacias clenched his fists. “You did that on purpose. You took off your shirt and danced with some pig who could have hurt you. He could have hurt you!”
Julen’s breathing accelerated. Nothing he could do would hurt as much as not having you. His body shook as he screamed, “Well, why do you care? You were making out with that…that… WHO WAS THAT? Can you forget me that quickly? You can just pretend like everything we did didn’t happen. Well, why can’t I?”
Dacias pointed at Julen. “ He kissed me ! I didn’t ask for him to kiss me. I was going to leave. You took off your shirt and started slinking about the dance floor!”
“Because you were with someone else, and I wanted to make you jealous!”
Dacias turned around and kicked some debris scattered about the alleyway. “So you admit it! You admit you were trying to make me jealous!”
“ OF COURSE, I was trying to make you jealous! Do you think I wanted to dance with him ? Do you know what it did to me to see you with that man?”
Dacias took a breath, about to say something to Julen, then stopped. He shook his head and turned around to lean his forehead on the brick wall.
He turned to Julen again and said, “I have to go.”
Dacias began walking away, and ice shot through Julen’s heart. He was watching Dacias walk away. Again.
Fight for him. Fight for him.
Julen ran after fast and positioned himself in front of Dacias. “No! No! You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to show me that life can be something else and then walk away from me. That’s not fucking happening tonight, Dacias. You will listen to me!”
Dacias spoke with a low, controlled tone. “There’s nothing to say. You lied to me.”
“And I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Dacias. You have no idea how much I hate myself for lying to you. I wanted to tell you. I tried so many times, but I just couldn’t.”
Dacias shook his head and looked away. Julen couldn’t stop now. “Dacias, I’ve woken up every day of my life dreading what the day would bring. Every moment in that castle has been a nightmare.”
Julen could feel the emotions welling inside him, but he didn’t want to turn into a blubbering mess. “Then I met you. You cared. It meant so much to me. I lied because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. You deserve better than someone who lies to you. I know that, but I didn’t do it to be deceitful. I’d give up everything for you. Everything.”
Julen took a deep breath. “I love you. I would never want to hurt you.”
Dacias’s breath hitched. He fidgeted, and his eyes darted to the Rugirean tunnel.
Julen continued. “You don’t have to love me back. I understand if you don’t.” He breathed to suppress the sob right at the surface, ready to break through. “I am so sorry that I did what I did, but I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. ”
Dacias’s eyes began to well. His chest heaved. “You hurt me, Julen.”
Julen looked at the ground. “I know, and I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting that.” He took a deep breath. He didn’t want this to be goodbye. He caught sight of the lamppost where Dacias would lean and wait for him. Fight for it. “But I’d also spend the rest of my life making up for it. If you let me.”
Dacias clenched his eyes shut. “You’re engaged.”
Julen shuddered. He looked into Dacias eyes. “Not by choice. I won’t do it, Dacias. Not if we’re together. I’ll figure out a way to escape. You’re all I want.” It felt like there was a stampede in Julen’s chest. The pounding of his heart pushed his sobs closer and closer to release, but Julen held it together.
Dacias looked into Julen’s eyes, and his face softened. “You’re all I want too.”
Dacias closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling as he said, “No more lies.”
Julen shook his head. “Never. Never again, Dacias. I swear.”
Dacias crushed his lips into Julen’s. He kissed him with a passion that Julen had never felt. Julen gasped as Dacias embraced him. He gripped onto Dacias for fear of losing him again. Now that he had Dacias, he never wanted to let go.
Dacias broke away from Julen and spoke through gasps. “Follow me.”
I’d follow you anywhere. Julen grabbed his hand as Dacias led him out of the alley.