Chapter 8 Kashmere Charm
Halo Key
Harbor View Inn
Hearing Pressure’s voice on the other end of the line didn’t make me feel any better about all the shit that went down.
It just made everything worse. I thought I’d be relieved hearing him talk, knowing he survived, but instead it twisted something inside me.
He sounded cold, like I was nothing. He sounded like the same man who used to whisper he loved me, but was now talking to me like I was a stranger.
It had been two weeks since that night, and every second of it has been hell.
I was hiding out in Halo Key, using a fake name that didn’t sound nothing like mine.
The hotel I was in wasn’t terrible, but it damn sure wasn’t what I was used to.
The sheets were rough, the walls was too thin, and the air conditioner made a buzzing sound that drove me crazy.
The room smelled like bleach and lemons.
The cash I had stashed in a duffel by the bed was starting to feel lighter every day.
I had money, but I couldn’t even enjoy it.
I couldn’t swipe a card or use my real name without risking somebody tracking me.
I went from private jets and mansions to catching buses, wearing shades, and hoping nobody recognized me.
Pressure had me living like a fugitive in a place that didn’t even feel like mine.
I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall.
That phone call kept replaying in my head.
I kept hearing his voice, flat and heartless.
The same voice that used to make me weak now just made me angry.
How dare this nigga talk to me like I didn’t matter.
How dare he made it sound like all he gave a fuck about was his damn money and jewelry.
After everything we been through, after all the nights he told me I was his peace, his woman, his everything.
He left me at the altar. He humiliated me in front of the world, and now he wanna act like I’m the one who ruined everything. Tuh!
My eyes burned, and I wiped my face hard. Maybe I was wrong for shooting him… Maybe. But he pushed me there. If he would’ve just been honest, and if he would’ve just loved me the way I deserved, none of this would’ve happened.
I thought about Pluto and my stomach turned.
That bitch had the nerve to grab the phone from him like she was really like that, or like she had some fucking right to insert herself in my life.
I bet she was sitting in that big-ass house right now, nursing his baby, and acting like she won.
But she didn’t win. She just picked up the pieces I left behind.
The more I thought about it, the more my guilt started to fade. I didn’t mean to shoot Pressure that many times, but part of me wished I would’ve aimed higher, at his damn head because maybe then he wouldn’t be sitting somewhere acting like I never existed.
I leaned forward and ran my fingers through my hair.
My reflection in the mirror across from me looked nothing like the woman I used to be.
My edges weren’t laid, my nails had grown out, and my lashes were hanging by a thread.
My skin didn’t glow the way it used to. Pressure used to tell me I looked like money.
Now I looked like I’d been running from it.
The room was quiet, but outside I could hear the waves crashing against the shore.
I thought about calling my daddy. I missed him so bad.
He was probably worried sick, wondering if I was even alive.
I hadn’t called him or anybody since the night before everything went down.
He’d always been my safe place, even when he did shit I didn’t approve of.
But what could I tell him? That I was hiding from the family of the man I shot? That I was scared to even walk outside in daylight? I’d lost everything, and the worst part was knowing I did it to myself.
Still, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to hear his voice.
I pulled the burner phone off the nightstand and scrolled through my mind for the number I’d known since I was a kid. I typed it in slow, my thumb hovering over the call button. My stomach knotted up, but I pressed it anyway.
It rang once, then twice.
Then a soft, calm voice answered. “Hello, Kashmere.”
For a second, I thought I was tripping. I froze, holding the phone tighter. That voice wasn’t my father’s.
It was Abeni Mensah’s…
“Hello?” I said, my voice cracking.
“Don’t hang up,” she said, still calm. “We’ve been waiting for you to call.”
My mind went blank. My heart started beating fast and my throat was dry. “Where’s my daddy?”
“Your father is fine,” she said smoothly. “For now.”
The way she said it sent chills up my spine. “What do you mean for now? Where is he?”
“You shot my son,” she replied. “And now we have some things to discuss.”
I stood up, my hand shaking. “I ain’t got nothing to say to you.”
“Oh, I think you do,” she said, her tone never changing. “You nearly killed Pressure. You took from him, and you ran. That makes you mine now, Kashmere.”
I swallowed hard. “Bitch, you can’t threaten me like this. You don’t even know where I’m at.”
Her voice softened like she was talking to a child. “Bitch?”
I could tell she wasn’t used to being called that because she got quiet after that. Then a minute later, she spoke, sending chills down my spine.
“I don’t have to know right now. What’s done in the dark always finds its way home. I’ll find you. Until then, understand this… your father’s safety depends on you doing what’s right. Oh, and Kashmere… I got your bitch.”
I dropped the phone, and it hit the carpet. I could still hear her voice, calm and cold, floating through the speaker.
“You tried to take my family’s peace, so now I will take yours,” she said. “Every day that you hide, something you love will suffer. Starting with your father.”
My knees gave out, and I sank to the floor. “Please don’t hurt him,” I whispered.
“Come home,” she said. “Turn yourself in and face what you’ve done. That’s the only way this stops.”
I picked up the phone with trembling hands. “I’m not going back there.”
“Then you’re choosing his fate.”
There was a pause. I could hear her breathing on the other end, calm as ever. Then the line went silent.
I stared at the phone until the screen went black. My whole body was shaking.
Abeni wasn’t bluffing, and I knew that shit.
I felt trapped. If I went back to Trill-Land, I’d die. If I stayed gone, my daddy would.
And somehow, I knew that either way, Abeni was going to win.
The following evening…
I sat on the beach, staring out at the waves, with tears and snot running down my face.
The water was dark and slow, pulling itself in and out like it had secrets of its own.
I could still hear Abeni’s voice in my head, calm and cutting, like she was sitting right next to me whispering everything I didn’t want to hear.
The idea of her having my father in her hands made me sick.
My daddy had his flaws, he wasn’t perfect, but he was a strong man.
That’s how I always saw him. To picture him tied up or guarded and helpless, made my stomach twist. I wanted to scream.
I wanted to call her back and tell her to let him go.
I wanted to make her hurt the way she made me hurt, but I knew that was impossible.
That old bitch was in control now, and she wanted me to feel it.
The gun sat heavy in my lap. It was the same one I used on Pressure.
I could still smell his cologne on it. Every time I lifted it, that scent came back like he was right there behind me, leaning down, whispering something slick in my ear.
I hated that I could still feel him in every memory.
No matter how far I ran, he followed me.
It was like shooting him didn’t do nothing but make him more real.
The beach was quiet, and the sun had already dipped behind the water, leaving a stretch of pink and gold across the sky.
My tears kept falling, and I didn’t even try to stop them.
I felt empty, like there wasn’t no reason to keep breathing.
I had all this money stuffed in bags, all these clothes and jewelry that used to make me feel like somebody, but none of this shit mattered because I’d trade it all to feel peace again.
I thought about calling my mama, but even that felt pointless.
We never got along, and her not showing up to my wedding proved it.
She probably thanked God she didn’t waste her time flying out to see me embarrass myself.
I could imagine her smile when Pressure told me he wasn’t marrying me.
That thought burned. I felt like I’d been fighting all my life to be seen, and somehow, I still ended up invisible.
I wiped my face, but more tears came. My chest hurt from crying.
I pressed the barrel of the gun against my temple and just sat there.
The metal was cool, and for a moment I thought about how easy it would be to pull the trigger.
I’d already tried to take my life once with pills.
This wouldn’t be that different. Maybe I’d finally get some rest. Maybe I’d stop hearing Pressure’s voice or seeing Pluto in my dreams holding his hand.
That’s when I heard somebody say, “Girl, what the hell are you doing?”
The voice came from behind me. I jumped and turned quick, still holding the gun.
A female was walking toward me. She had beautiful brown skin that caught what little light was left from the sunset, and her curls were long, thick, and framed her face perfectly.
Her baby hairs were laid so neat they looked painted on.
She didn’t look scared, just concerned, like she’d seen enough in her life to recognize pain when it was in front of her.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand. “Who are you?”
“I should be asking you that,” she said, stopping a few feet away. “You really gon’ do that out here?”