Chapter 31 #2
Soon as the door opened and she stepped out, I felt that shit hit me before I could even try to play it off.
She had on some jeans that was holdin’ on to every inch of her, sittin’ right on them wide hips that swayed when she walked, makin’ it hard for a nigga to look anywhere else.
The maroon crop hoodie hugged her up top, showin’ just enough to have me glancin’ more than once without even tryin’ to.
Her skin was glowin’, smooth and even, and if I ain’t know what she had just been through, I would’ve never guessed she took a bullet not too long ago.
She looked good as hell.
She was walkin’ up to me, tryna keep that smile tucked in, and shid… I was doin’ the same thing like I ain’t know what she was doin’ to me.
She was carryin’ a suitcase, walkin’ toward me with that look on her face like she was tryna keep it together, but that smile kept creepin’ through anyway, and I ain’t even realize I was smilin’ back until she got closer.
I just stood there watchin’ her come up, takin’ her in for real, from the way them jeans hugged her to how her hair was laid. It hit me right then that I was really about to be around her like this without some type of chaos attached to it.
I stepped forward when she got close, took the suitcase from her without sayin’ too much, and popped the trunk so I could set it inside. Once I closed it, I turned back to her and held the flowers out.
She looked down at ’em, and that smile finally broke through.
“Renza…” she said, reachin’ for ’em.
I ain’t say nothin’ right away. I just watched her take ’em, and the way she held ’em told me I did that right.
She finally stepped in and wrapped her arms around me after that, and when I felt her hand slide up and brush over my waves, I smirked, knowin’ exactly what that meant without her sayin’ it out loud.
“I see you,” she murmured.
“Oh yeah?” I asked low.
She nodded against me, and I ain’t rush to pull away either. I just stayed here with her for a second, feelin’ how she fit against me and how natural it was, like this wasn’t even new and we had been here before… but just never let it go this far.
My hand rested on her back while hers stayed up in my hair, still messin’ with my waves.
I knew where this moment could’ve went, and she knew it too.
It was right here, sittin’ between us, easy as hell to cross that line, but neither one of us moved yet. It wasn’t ’cause we was unsure or second guessin’ it. It was more like we both understood what it would mean if we did, and neither one of us was tryna rush into it just to say we did.
I guess you can say a nigga was really just tryna take his time.
I let out a breath and pulled back just enough to look at her, takin’ her in up close for a second before I reached for the passenger door and opened it.
She smiled again and slid in, settin’ the flowers in her lap while I walked around to the driver’s side and got in behind the wheel.
Soon as I pulled off, I glanced over at her, and that feelin’ hit me again in a way I couldn’t even explain if I tried.
I done been around women before. I done dealt with ’em, had ’em, and moved how I moved with ’em, ’cause that’s just what came with how I lived. But this shit with ‘Nelle ain’t fall in that same lane.
It hit in a way I couldn’t even put into words, ’cause it wasn’t just about how she looked or how she carried herself. It was the way I felt when I was around her, and how easy everything between us came without me havin’ to force nothin’ or play no role.
This shit that had me sittin’ here feelin’ like a young nigga again, like I was with my first crush and I ain’t even know what to say without messin’ it up.
Then, she sat there, tryna play it cool while she looked out the window, then back at me, then down at the flowers like she ain’t know what to do with all that she was feelin’ either…
I shook my head a lil’, smilin’ to myself while I kept drivin’, ’cause out of everything I done been through and everything I done done, I ain’t never thought I’d be sittin’ here feelin’ like this over nobody.
But with Sha’Nelle…
I wasn’t even tryna fight it no more.
Me and Sha’Nelle had been at the Airbnb for hours, but eventually put that shit on and stepped out for dinner.
Soon as we walked in earlier, I already knew I did right with the spot I picked. The muthafucka was big, open, and clean. It felt like money without it bein’ too loud about it.
The livin’ room had tall windows that let all the light in, and was lookin’ out over the city, sittin’ above everything. The sectional sat off to the side in this deep charcoal color with wide cushions that matched the rest of the livin’ room.
The kitchen was all marble and chrome with a big island in the middle, a wine cooler tucked under the counter and cabinets stocked like whoever owned the house m expected people to really live in it, and not just pass through.
The bedrooms was spread out through the crib, and each one had king beds laid in clean white sheets, so everything looked untouched and expensive like nobody had really stayed in here like that.
The bathrooms matched that same energy, with glass walk-in showers and deep tubs sittin’ off to the side, and fresh towels lined up on the counters like they expected you to use ’em but still keep everything lookin’ perfect.
’Nelle walked through the house slow, lookin’ around, touchin’ shit, smilin’ in a way she was tryna hide but couldn’t, and I just leaned back against the wall watchin’ her take it in.
“You did this…” she said, glancin’ at me.
I shrugged like it wasn’t nothin’. “You like it?”
She looked around again, then back at me. “Hell yeah… this is nice, Renza.”
We chilled for a while after that, not doin’ nothin’ crazy, but just talkin’, sittin’ close and lettin’ the time pass without it feelin’ forced. Eventually I told her to go get dressed, and when she came back out, I had to take a second before I said somethin’.
She had on a maroon dress, and that shit was doin’ exactly what it was supposed to do.
It hugged her all the way down and laid over them curves like it was made for her. The way it sat on her hips made it real clear I was gon’ have to keep my focus in check once we got out in public.
I ain’t say all that though.
I just looked at her, then nodded once. “Yeah… we gon’ have a problem tonight.”
She rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.
I grabbed my keys and we headed out.
Like I always do, I found somewhere that matched the energy I was on. I found a spot with low lights, a clean setup, real food and people in there mindin’ they business with money in they pockets. I ain’t care what city I was in, I was gon’ find that type of spot.
We got seated, and I ended up across from ‘Nelle, which probably wasn’t the best idea I ’cause now I had a full view of everything I was tryin’ not to stare at.
I picked up my menu, but I ain’t even see half the shit on it, ’cause every time I looked up, there Sha’Nelle was… sittin’ there smilin’ at me like she knew exactly what she was doin’.
I had to force myself to look down at my plate once the food came, takin’ a bite just to give myself somethin’ else to focus on, but that ain’t last long either.
“You good?” she asked, tiltin’ her head a lil’.
“I’m great,” I said, glancin’ back up at her. “I’m just tryna eat my food without disrespectin’ you in public.”
She laughed at that, shakin’ her head while she flipped her hair back over her shoulder like it was second nature.
For a second, she just sat there lookin’ at me, then she laughed again and leaned back in her seat.
“Renza… what the fuck are we doin’?” she asked.
I looked at her. “What you mean?”
She shook her head, still smilin’. “Like… how did we even get here?”
I picked up my drink, took a sip, and shrugged like it ain’t take me nothin’ to answer.
“I don’t know,” I said. “You kept botherin’ me and I finally gave in. That’s really what this is.”
She blinked at me, then laughed harder. “Boy, shut the fuck up.”
I smiled at her for a second, then reached my hand out across the table without sayin’ nothin’ else. She looked down at it, paused for just a second, then placed her hand in mine. And honestly, the shit felt right.
I ain’t rush to say nothin’. I just let my thumb move over the back of her hand while we sat here lookin’ at each other like we both knew this wasn’t no regular situation.
“I wonder if this how gay niggas feel when they finally come out the closet,” I said, low enough for just her to hear.
She looked at me like I was crazy. “Do you feel like you came out the closet?”
I lifted my brow. “Not on no gay shit, but when it come to you… yeah. I feel like I’m finally steppin’ into somethin’ I been keepin’ to myself.”
She smiled at that, softer this time, then tilted her head.
“So you love me?” she asked.
I picked up my drink again, took a slow sip, then set it down while my thumb kept movin’ over her hand.
“Somethin’ like that,” I said.
She squeezed my hand and leaned back in her seat like she understood exactly what I meant without me havin’ to say it any clearer.
After that, the rest of the night just flowed. We laughed, talked shit, joked about everything and nothin’, and more than once we had people lookin’ over at us ’cause we was laughin’ louder than we probably should’ve been in a place like this.
I ain’t give a fuck though.
When we finished, I paid, stood up, and reached for ‘Nelle’s hand again. She took it without hesitatin’, and I led her out the restaurant.
As we walked out toward the car, I couldn’t help but look at her again. It was the way that dress moved with her, the way her body carried it and the way everything about her just… fit.
Then it hit me right then that I was gon’ have to be able to handle all that.
At this point, I was ready to see how far it was gon’ go.
“Renza… you sure you okay?” Sha’Nelle asked me while I was on top of her.