10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
Emma
T he sunlight is a miracle on my skin, warm and real and forgotten. I close my eyes, drinking it in like water after years of drought. For a moment, just one brief moment, I forget where I am, who I'm with, what has happened.
Then reality crashes back as Phoenix sets a plate in front of me.
Sandwiches cut into quarters. Apple slices.
Potato chips. Like I'm a child who needs manageable portions. It sure as hell beats the left-over food the other alphas gave to me. That was when they remembered to feed me. Flavor bursts on my tongue when I crunch into an apple slice, and then I can’t get enough.
I shove another quarter of sandwich into my mouth, my cheeks already full.
After months of near-starvation, the food is irresistible despite my exhaustion. My body's need overrides my caution.
“Whoa, slow down,” Phoenix says, alarm crossing his face. “You'll make yourself sick eating that fast.”
I freeze mid-chew, sandwich halfway to my mouth, again realizing my mistake too late.
Soren notices my reaction immediately. “It's not a command. After prolonged malnutrition, eating too quickly can cause serious digestive issues.”
Dr. Chen said the same thing. As well as the nurse, but easy to say for them.
They’ve never faced not knowing when the next meal is coming.
My gaze bounces between all three alphas, my mind warring with indecision.
Do I keep eating? Have I eaten too much for their liking?
Do I put everything down? Do I fall to my knees and present and beg their forgiveness?
“What he means,” Phoenix sends a pointed look at Soren, “is that we're worried about you. We’re not trying to control your eating.”
Asher watches from the edge of the patio, guilt rolling off him in waves. My fingers itch to find his claiming bite on my neck. Thankfully his emotions have stayed muted. I’m so used to the cruel intent from Pack Carmichaels’ bites that they’re easy enough to shove into the back of my mind.
At least Asher has stayed there while we’re all seated at the table.
Something I’m grateful for even when I don’t understand his need to respect my space.
Either that or he’s sick and tired of my flinching when he comes too close to me.
Any of the alphas in Pack Carmichael would have hit me for that infraction.
Logically I know it’s wrong. That those actions say more about the abuser than the victim, but the trauma and learned reaction is embedded into my DNA.
Phoenix speaks, forcing my attention back to the sunshine and not the darkness in my head. “We have plenty of food, Tough Girl. It won't run out. You can have as much as you want, whenever you want it. Just eat a little slower so you don’t get sick. That’s what we’re concerned about.”
I look away from his kindness, from the dimple that appears in his cheek when he offers that easy smile.
He's beautiful. They all are… Phoenix with his disheveled blond hair and athletic build, Soren with his buzz cut that accentuates the sharp an gles of his face and military bearing.
Even Asher with his olive skin and haunted eyes.
Large, powerful alphas who have the power to chain me to a different cage.
Soren places a glass of water beside my plate. “Small sips to keep hydrated.”
I study him, watching for the moment this will all go away.
This could be a mirage my mind is throwing up while Derek or James or Matthew do whatever they want to my body, but all Soren does is sit in the spare chair at the table we’re all grouped around, hands resting on the solid wood arms. Phoenix picks up his sandwich and takes a bite.
Birds chirp in a nearby tree. Sunlight makes my skin tingle. I clutch Mira's phone in my lap.
This is too real for my mind to be playing tricks.
The relief makes me sag. I’m really here. I’m not back in that basement losing my mind.
“It’s fine. I'm fine,” I mutter, but I do slow down, taking smaller bites. Not because they told me to, but because the sandwich is already sitting heavily in my shrunken stomach. The last thing I need is to vomit in front of them.
Tension ripples between the three alphas. Phoenix shoots Asher a look that could cut glass when he steps forward. Soren's jaw tightens.
“You set the pace here. No one's going to force you to do anything,” Phoenix says, his smile staying steady despite the sharpness in his eyes.
Not yet anyway. They’re being nice, but that can only be for now. Being nice to lull me into a secure place. I won’t forget what alphas are capable of.
“We should discuss security protocols, so she understands how safe she is here.” Soren adjusts his posture, a slight movement that makes me tense, but he only sits back in his chair, his powerful frame seemingly relaxed.
“Not now. Let her breathe first, brother,” Phoenix says.
My head snaps up at that exchange. They're disagreeing. Openly. In front of me. Matthew would never allow Derek or James to contradict him. Any disagreement would be settled with dominance displays, and violence, with someone being put in their place. Usually me .
They talk about me like I'm not here, though. That's familiar enough. Just like Matthew and the others did. Discussing me as if I were furniture to be arranged rather than a person and suddenly anger bursts through me.
“ She can hear you,” I say, surprising myself, but I’ve spoken before I can stop myself. I sit still, not daring to move an inch, studying them to gauge what my discipline will be.
Phoenix's startled laugh surprises me. It's warm and rich and makes lines fan from the edges of his eyes. “Fair enough. Full disclosure it is. The compound is secure, but we're not taking chances. One of us will be with you at all times.”
“So, this is a prison with nicer guards.” I don’t understand why he’s laughing it off but still I can’t hold my tongue.
My emotions swing between numb exhaustion and red-hot spikes.
I’m losing control of myself, and I can’t let that happen.
If I lose control, they’ll lose control, but I’ll get hurt because of it.
“Emma,” Asher says. I nearly knock over my water glass as I reel away from him. The guilt in his eyes deepens, and an uncomfortable itch starts under my skin.
“This isn't…” he tries again, voice gentle in a way that’s sandpaper on raw nerves.
“Isn't what?” My voice rises, emotions I can't contain spilling over. “Isn't a cage? Isn't another basement? Isn't three more alphas deciding what happens to me? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks exactly the same!”
The silence that follows is brittle, dangerous.
My chest heaves and I start to shake as adrenaline releases through my body.
My shoulders curl and rise to my ears and my stomach starts to churn.
Why am I blurting out these words? Why can’t I stop them falling from my mouth?
It’s only going to get them mad, and I know better than to do anything like that. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” Phoenix says, his gaze locking with mine. “From your perspective, that's exactly what this looks like. We can't change that overnight. This is a safe place. We will keep it safer for you.”
Soren clears his throat, glancing at Asher before turning to me. “Speaking of full disclosure. This might help.” He pulls a device from his pocket and sets it on the table. “It's connected to our security system. ”
I force my shoulders down, making sure I haven’t made the alphas mad, but they seem relaxed. Maybe even concerned. There are no signs of aggression.
I drop my gaze to stare at the device. I’ve never seen anything so high-tech.
That’s not a stretch though. My knowledge of the technical world was lost when I turned sixteen and was forced to attend Haven.
The only tech I saw after that were movies of how omegas lived to give their alphas anything they needed.
To me they were more like omega-porn. Got to love Haven-style ‘education’. “What is it?”
“Information. Control,” Soren says.
Those words hook something deep inside me and I take a longer look at the device.
“May I show you how it works?”
I hesitate, then nod. Sure, if he wants to show me, I’m not going to say no. Every bit of information counts toward the time I’ll be finding my way to my beach. Nothing is going to stop me from getting there, least of all some bullshit bonds I didn’t ask for.
He taps the screen, bringing it to life. “This is a direct feed to every security camera in and around the property. Swipe left or right to change views. Pinch to zoom. Why don’t you try it for yourself?”
He holds it out to me and I take the tablet, our fingers not quite touching. The device's cold metal edge against my palm sends an unexpected jolt through me. The weight, the temperature, the solid heft of it suddenly, violently reminds me of the basement chains.
The tablet slips from my numb fingers, clattering onto the patio tiles. I jump a foot in the air, my gaze locking into him. I freeze, muscles locking in anticipation of punishment, but Phoenix just kneels, retrieving the tablet and placing it on the table.
“No harm done,” he says easily, as if dropping expensive equipment is perfectly acceptable behavior. “These things are built to survive being thrown across rooms by frustrated detectives. A little tumble is nothing. ”
Alphas don't just... let things go. They don't just accept mistakes without extracting payment.
Don’t they?
My hand inches to the device, measuring the alphas for any movement. But there's none. They sit and watch me, letting me set the pace. My fingers curl around the edge and I pick up the device, sure of the weight now. Okay, if they’re sure they’re letting me touch this, I should know how it works.