40. Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty
Emma
S tanding by my bedroom window, I gaze out toward the sea over the top of the perimeter fence, the rolling waves reflecting silver beneath the late-afternoon sun.
My skin still hums pleasantly from Phoenix’s touch, remembering the gentle slide of sand beneath my back, the soft whisper of his encouragement in my ear when my heat spike surged through me in the dunes.
These heat spikes are sudden and unpredictable, leaving me trembling and desperate inside.
He soothed me, gentling me through the intensity, wringing three exquisite orgasms from my body and quieting the frantic pulse of heat.
Yet my full heat refuses to arrive. Now, back in the house, I feel frustratingly normal again, no residual symptoms, just the nagging worry of when the next spike will catch me unawares. My worries don’t end there .
Leah’s face haunts me each time I close my eyes.
Pack Carmichael getting their hands back on me.
The commissioner choking me with a dog leash, as he does poor, poor Aubrey.
The extent to which my alphas are willing to risk their own safety to protect me.
Fears compound every day, knotting tighter even when I see my alphas offering determined smiles.
I’m not blind. I glimpse the tension hidden in their expressions when they think I’m not looking.
Their worry, so clearly for me; their quiet frustration when they can’t shield me from my own body or this endless stress.
It breaks my heart and strengthens my resolve at the same time.
For the first time in forever, though, I can fight back. My alphas stand by my side. We’ve taken dangerous steps forward and now, finally, there is a chance. But that chance terrifies me just as much, because it means I have something fragile and precious to lose. My alphas. Leah, and Mira.
I’m spinning in circles, making myself insane with too many fears and too many hopes racing through my mind.
I can’t keep these thoughts inside any longer. I need to talk to Mira. I hold the phone tight to my ear while the quiet ringing fills me with nervous anticipation.
Mira answers before the second ring fully ends, the warmth in her voice wrapping instantly around my heart. “Emma? God, I'm so glad you called. I've been so worried about you.”
“I'm worried about you too,” I whisper, the ache in my chest overflowing into that admission.
As soon as the words break free, emotion cracks through my voice.
A sob escapes, raw and unstoppable. Then Mira is crying too, our shared tears closing the distance between us.
For a moment we're both quiet, letting unspoken understanding and hurt flow on silent breaths.
I wish I could reach through the phone and hug her, the sister by choice who carried me through hell.
“I wish we could see each other,” I choke out, wiping wetness from my cheeks with my sleeve. “I just want to hug you. I need to see you're safe.”
“We can't. Not yet. It's still far too dangerous,” Mira says .
I close my eyes, sinking onto the edge of my bed, gripping the phone tighter.
“I can't stand not knowing anymore. I'm terrified for Leah.
Every hour that passes without answers eats away at me.
Not knowing what she's going through, how she's surviving. Or if she’s…” Alive .
My throat closes around the last word, painful and raw.
My bonds with Asher and Soren pulse with immediate concern and I feel their need to chase away the dark emotions crashing through me.
Phoenix’s emotions are close on their heels, our bond not yet claimed, but no less determined.
I send a pulse of reassurance to them and wait until their concern settles.
Mira draws a shaky breath, pausing for a heartbeat. “We’ll find her, Emma. We won’t lose her again.”
“I want her back with us so badly. It's killing me that she's been in the commissioner's clutches all this time, enduring God knows what.” My voice breaks. “We all escaped together. She was supposed to be free.”
Mira sighs, the sound heavy over the phone line. “What about the commissioner? Did he say anything—anything at all—that might help us find Leah?”
Frustration tightens my chest, “No. He talked about her like she was nothing, Mira. Just another transaction. Another commodity to be bought and sold. Like she was someone he could profit from.”
“Gods. They make me sick,” she rasps.
My stomach twists. “I’m worried about how Leah might react when they finally reach her.
If it comes down to a confrontation at the gala, the commissioner will have a full contingent of alphas at his side.
We'll only have nine.” The image of Leah, terrified and desperate, fills my mind, pain sharp and immediate at the thought.
“What if Leah tries to escape from everyone?
What if she doesn't trust anyone who shows up?
Mira, you know as well as I do—after everything she's endured, it would take a miracle for her to trust any alpha at all.”
Gods know Mira and I hadn't been in any state to trust alphas after what we experienced. Every instinct in me had screamed to run, Mira told me she'd felt exactly the same way. Leah would be no different, maybe even more wounded; even harder to reach.
“Then we have to get to her ourselves. She'll trust us. Leah knows us. Knows we’d never hurt her. If we're there at the gala, it could make all the difference. We could be exactly what she needs to accept help,” Mira says.
Warmth rises in my chest, chasing away some of the fear. “You're right.” Together, Mira and I understand Leah’s pain on a level no alpha ever could. “If we're there, she'll know she’s safe.”
“We'll need to convince our alphas. They have to understand that we need to be there at the gala. Not just for ourselves, but for Leah. We could be the difference between saving her... or losing her,” Mira says.
The fear in my heart is still there, but now, there’s something else too: a spark of purpose, burning away the helplessness.
Mira falls silent for a second before taking a steadying breath.
“It won't always be like this. When it's safe, I’m going to show you both the entire town.
Every ridiculous boutique, café, and pastry shop.
We'll eat bad food, buy overpriced coffees, and spend half the day doing absolutely nothing important. You know, normal things. The kind of things that alpha bastards like Hardwick and Mercer denied us. Just to remind ourselves we have a place in this world.”
Her words sober us both. She's right. It hits that simple things others take completely for granted, have been denied to us for years. Our lives have left us existing in darkness so long, we forgot simple pleasures even existed. That we could choose our own futures.
Suddenly, unspoken worries flood me, questions I've feared to voice rising urgently to my lips. “Mira…are you really, truly happy? With your alphas?”
There is no pause when she answers. “More than happy.” Her voice softens as emotion shines through.
“They're everything to me, Emma. They hold my heart with a gentleness I never thought possible.
They healed wounds I didn't realize were still bleeding.
For the first time in forever, I'm completely safe. Utterly loved. They complete me in a way no one else ever could.” She pauses and when she speaks her words are cautious. “Emma…ar e you happy?”
I don't even pause. “Yes.” I press fingertips against my heart, over the steady thrum of the bonds I already share.
“Asher and Soren are incredible. Their bonds make me feel whole.
Complete in a way I didn't think I'd ever feel again. They saw me at my worst and still cherished me anyway. Now their love holds me steady every second.”
Mira hesitates, tentative in her next question. “What about Phoenix?”
Heat flushes softly through my cheeks, and I glance down as my fingers twist nervously in the fabric of my shirt. “I haven't claimed him yet. I want to. Gods, Mira, I want him desperately. But it hasn't felt like the right moment. It needs to be special, perfect for him…for us.”
She hums quietly. “Emma, can I ask... why didn't you claim them all at once?”
“Honestly? If I'd been properly in heat, maybe it would have happened that way.
But my system is such a mess, Mira. These past days I've been having heat spikes, but no real heat cycle fully sets in.” My voice wobbles with worry.
“It's scaring me. I feel like a ticking time bomb. My body keeps starting and stopping, and none of us know why.”
“You're healing, Emma. It took years for those asshats to fracture and harm you. It’s going to take your body time to right itself,” Mira says.
I close my eyes briefly, absorbing her comfort. Yet, anxiety still knots quietly inside me. “I hope you're right.”
“Have you…used the nest?” Mira asks. “Maybe that's partly the reason why your heat hasn't come. The nest is instinctive. It's healing. Your omega side knows exactly what you need. You've got to start trusting yourself again.”
My gaze slides across the bedroom to the closed double doors. Longing coils through my chest, sharp and bittersweet. I haven't had the strength to open those doors, let alone step inside.
She lets out a knowing sigh, understanding my silence.
“Emma, listen to me. Don't you dare let Haven or those waste-of-space alphas tell you that you can't have a nest. Do you hear me?
I know exactly how hard it is to stand up against all those terrible things we've been taught, but don't mistake it for anything other than abuse. Pure, twisted abuse to stop you from giving in to your omega nature, so bad alphas can control you. That guilt is not yours to bear.”
I swallow down painful emotions, pressing fingers against my eyes. She's right—I know she is, but the feeling still lodges tightly in my throat.
“I'm trying. Really, Mira, I am. You're right about so many things, but the truth is, this place isn't mine. Even though I love it deeply, it's yours.”
“Emma—”
“When all this is over, I’ll beg to visit.
The beach outside this house feels like mine.
The sand, the waves…they’re my safe space.
I claimed Asher and Soren here, bonded heart and soul to them within these walls.
I know it sounds crazy, despite why we came here and the danger, but it’s the safest I've ever felt.”
Emotion thickens my throat as I lower my voice. “It would destroy me. To let myself have this nest and then have to leave it behind.”
“Emma—”
“Don’t ask me to use the nest. I...I don’t even know how to start—”
Mira raises her voice over my babbling. “Would you like to keep the house?”
A heartbeat passes. My lungs freeze mid-breath. “Keep—your house? Mira, you can't mean that.”
“I do.” The sincerity in her voice leaves no doubt she's serious.
“Look, I know Adrian, Cole, and Zane bought it for me, but I've never even been there.
For me, that place isn't home. But for you…” Softness creeps into her tone.
“For you, it is. I've known you half my life. I hear it in your voice. You’re healing there. I want this for you, Emma—more than anything.”
My throat tightens. “Mira, it's too big an offer. It's too generous. I can't just—”
“No pressure, okay? Just promise me you'll think about it. Take time, talk it out with your alphas. You don't have to rush. The offer stands as long as you need it to,” she says.
“What about your alphas?” I ask.
“They want what I want, and I want this for you.” She takes another breath.
“Please, please open the doors to that nest room. There's no wrong way to build a nest. Follow your instincts and do what feels right. And maybe…” Her voice is gentle, full of quiet hope. “Maybe it'll help your heat finally come. Maybe that’s where you’ll bond Phoenix, too. You deserve this, Emma. You deserve every happiness.”
Warmth blooms behind my ribs, spreading slowly outward.
“I…” Emotion rises, stealing my breath. “Thank you, Mira.” Because what else can I say?
“Always,” she whispers back. “Just…please try, Emma.”
The call ends, her words lingering in my mind long afterward. My friend knows too well all there is to know about pain, darkness, and healing, but now we both see glimpses of something better, something pure and bright on the horizon.
Can I actually do this?
My pulse thuds beneath my ribs. Waves crash in the distance, a comforting murmur cascading through the warm, sunlit silence of the house. My feet move of their own accord, bringing me to a stop in front of those two closed doors I've both dreaded and longed to open.
I was punished for daring to hold onto my omega nature. Beaten down so viciously my body refused even its own instincts. How can I trust now that I'm doing the right thing?
What if I get this wrong?
Anxiety coils in my chest, whispering cruel doubts, but slowly, rising alongside that fear, comes an inner whisper Mira awakened. A fierce anger, burning hot beneath the anxiety.
This rage isn't new. It's the same fury I felt when Pack Carmichael ripped my dignity from me, the same bitter anger born the instant Haven stole my right to choose.
My choice, something every omega deserves by virtue of just existing, was stripped away without remorse or care, buried beneath years of savage cruelty.
The bonds I share with my alphas flare warm, golden, and unwavering. They pulse beneath my skin, steady as heartbeats, each one lighting inside me with renewed strength. I'm no longer alone in the dark. My alphas thread through me, as close to me as my own heartbeat .
They anchor me and chase away the shadows from the hidden corners of my soul. Warmth bleeds into my bones, spreading light into places held hostage by fear. Their strength is mine, lifting me, empowering me to take back what no one had the right to steal.
Mira is correct.
My life is mine to reclaim.
Curling my fingers around the polished brass handles, I pause for just an instant, gathering courage from the split-second feeling of rightness that whispers through me.
Then I twist both handles, pushing slowly forward.
Warm air spills past me as the double doors swing open, revealing the nest waiting beyond.