Chapter 51 Zadyn
ZADYN
This is getting out of hand.
First the kiss in the street, then the almost kiss at the inn.
Sharing a bed for weeks on the ship, waking up accidentally tangled around each other.
The constant teasing and flirting. These moments when we’re face to face, nearly nose to nose, testing each other—pushing the boundaries of our friendship to its absolute breaking point.
Any moment it could shatter.
And the idea of that partially thrills me.
I used to think this attraction was entirely one-sided. But now? I’m not so sure. Not when she looks at me with that glint in her eye—that little spark of mischief.
It’s utterly irresistible.
I pull the shirt over my head and toss it down on the daybed as the door behind me clicks open. My jaw goes slack.
Seven fucking hells.
Serena steps out of the bathroom wearing this slinky black slip with barely enough material to cover her perky little ass. Heat slashes up my neck at the sight of her bare legs—the smooth, tan flesh peeking out from beneath the lace panels on either side.
As if it weren’t enough that her voice haunts me everywhere I go.
That she distracts me from being fully present in every conversation I have.
That I can read every shift in her scent, that I know what it means when she bites her lip, when she arches her back slightly more than usual, the way her thoughts scream at me even when I try to shut them out.
No. As if all of that weren’t enough, she has to go and wear that.
She has to know what she’s doing to me.
“What?” She blinks, the portrait of cruel innocence.
“Nothing.” I scratch the back of my neck, wiping the shock from my face. “That just seems like an impractical outfit with temperatures like these.”
I nod toward the blizzard starting up outside the window.
“You try sleeping under a thousand pounds of animal pelts.”
Leaning over the bed, I strip off one of the heavy furs. “They are removable, you know.”
She snatches the throw from my hands and flings it back into place. “I like to be cozy when I sleep.” I roll my eyes as she brushes past me, her naked arm grazing mine. “You sleep shirtless. I don’t see how it’s any different,” she tosses over her shoulder, climbing into the massive bed.
“I sleep shirtless when you’re around. When I’m alone, I don’t wear anything.”
Her eyes snap to mine before trickling lower over my bare chest and abs. So I allow mine to do the same, letting them run down the length of her sinful body.
All the blood drains from my head.
That fucking slip.
I clear my throat, sinking back onto the daybed. She settles into the sheets behind me and leans over to blow out the candle, shrouding us in darkness.
“Night, Zadyn,” she murmurs.
“Goodnight.”
I lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling for what feels like hours. Starlight dances in through the narrow gap between curtains, slicing across the room like a giant spotlight on Serena.
I listen to the sound of her ragged breaths, each one a new torture. I’m so on edge lately, even the slightest breeze against my skin has me ready to burst. It’s only made worse when the sheets begin to rustle, and I hear her turn over, a little sound like a whimper falling from her lips.
My ears perk up. She’s not usually a sleep talker. Then the whimpers turn into sighs, coming faster and harder.
Dear gods.
She’s having a sex dream.*
Fuck me.
I drag my hands down my face. At the sound of her moan, the blood rushes to my cock so fast I get lightheaded.
This is going to be the death of me.
I’m dying to look back, but—no, that would be so wrong.
But maybe just for one second…
Nope, no. Still wrong.
“Please,” she whispers.
My head whips around, ending the debate. I stare helplessly as her back arches and her dark hair spills across the pillow. The satin strap of her slip falls down her shoulder.
I should wake her.
She wouldn’t want me to hear this, to see this. She would be mortified.
But wouldn’t it be worse not to let her finish?
I blow out a long sigh, burying my head in my arm.
Breathe, Zadyn.
But it’s hard to think beyond the insistent throbbing in my pants. I’m fucking aching.
“Please,” she calls again, louder this time. I gape, watching her hand roam over her breast and up into her hair. What I wouldn’t give to be that hand.
She writhes again, like a cat in the sun. I have to literally bite my knuckle to keep from groaning.
I can’t take anymore. Surging from the bed, I dart out of the room.
Heavy breaths rock my chest as I press my palms to the door. I can still feel her from the other side. I can feel her pleasure as if it were my own. It sings in my veins, rolls through my blood, through my body.
Pushing off the door, I stalk through the torchlit halls, up the winding staircase leading to one of the spiked towers. I burst through the darkness toward the glassless window. It isn’t until my fingers wrap around the cold brick sill that I realize I’m not alone.
“Needed a little space from your bond?”
Alix’s low, raspy voice has me turning. Bitter blue eyes roam over me, peering out through the shadows.
“I didn’t realize anyone was in here.”
“No shit.” Rising from the rocking chair in the corner, she steps into the sliver of moonlight. Her head tilts as she sinks her hip into the wall beside me. “Did you forget this was my favorite place to go and think?”
“It’s also the most haunted place here.”
“Why do you think I like it so much?”
How could I forget? Alix has a bit of a kink for the paranormal.
Alix, Eaton, and I used to come up here all the time during the witching hour, hoping to catch something supernatural happening.
Supposedly, this was once a nursery for a queen whose child was stolen in the night and never found.
She locked herself inside this tower and died in that rocking chair, waiting for her baby to return.
Alix studies me for a moment, then reaches out to wrench my jaw to the side. “I was worried I’d permanently damaged your pretty face. Females everywhere would have rioted.”
She releases me.
“Alix. I’m sorry for the way I left—”
“I don’t want your apology, Zadyn.” Her tone is clipped. “I shouldn’t have expected things you weren’t capable of. I was only ever Eaton’s little sister to you.”
“That’s not true. You were my friend.”
“I thought so. But friends don’t do the things we did together. And they certainly don’t leave the way you did.”
“I had to. I didn’t really have a choice.”
“You could have said goodbye. I would have understood.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Are you?” She snorts, crossing her toned arms over her chest. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You show up here after thirty years like it’s your gods-given right, and my brothers welcome you back, no questions asked.
Then you and Eaton immediately take off on some mysterious quest, and once again, I’m left behind.
You were always doing that. Running off to be boys, to go find adventure.
I was never a part of your little brotherhood. Much as I wanted to be.”
“Alix—”
“Why did you come back here?”
“It’s a long story.”
She tosses out a jaded laugh. “Of course it is. Did it ever occur to you that I might be able to help with whatever big secret you’re keeping?
I’m smarter and sharper than my brothers.
Always have been. I can best any of them in a match.
But that was never enough, was it?” I give her a look of regret.
“Even after all this time, I’m still just a second thought to you all. ”
“I didn’t ask you because I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me.”
“Could you blame me? Zadyn, I know my worth. But you and my brothers…you’ve never treated me as an equal. I’m just another female to you. And after we got together, it felt like my value just dropped in your eyes. You could barely look at me.”
Guilt churns in my gut. “I never realized we were doing that, leaving you behind…or that it hurt you.”
“Why would you? You only really paid attention when I spread my legs.” She gives me a sad, stinging smile, and a wave of shame washes over me.
“I’m not proud of the way I acted back then.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not keeping me up at night. Not anymore.” She sighs, staring out at the falling snow. “She seems…interesting.”
I laugh, pushing my hair back. “You want to talk about her?” She shrugs, indifferent. “Interesting?”
“What?”
“I know what that means.”
“It means she seems interesting.” Alix shifts her weight, meeting my gaze again. “I just find it ironic.”
“What?”
“You clearly have a type. Headstrong women who could probably kick your ass. Definitely, in my case.”
I chuckle, glancing down at the floor. “Definitely in your case.”
“Does she know how you feel?”
I shake my head. Alix looks sympathetic for a moment—a rare break from the fierce, slightly pinched expression she often wears. She reaches out to brace my shoulder as she says, “Don’t make the same mistakes over and over, Zadyn. Use your words. And speak the hell up.”
When morning comes, I place a hand on Serena’s shoulder, giving her a gentle nudge. Her skin is hot to the touch. She stretches, her chest straining against the smooth silk slip, sending a flood of desire through me.
“Hi.” She yawns, looking at me with those starry eyes. “Did you sleep last night? You have bags under your eyes.”
“No, not really,” I admit with a rueful smile.
“Oh, no.” Her face falls. “Was I sleep talking? I’m sorry, usually I don’t—”
“You weren’t…talking, per se.” I press my lips together.
She tilts her head. “What are you not saying right now?”
“Well”—I push my hair back and try to stumble forward—“you were dreaming…and you started to…”
She waits for me to spit it out.
“You were…having a sex dream. I think.”
She jolts upright, clapping a hand over her mouth.
“Oh my god!” A blush creeps over her cheeks and chest. She gets to her knees, shaking her hands with splayed fingers. “Oh my god! What did I do?! What did I say?”
“You didn’t really say anything, you were just…making noise.”
“Stop, I don’t want to know!”
I reach out to pry her hands from her face. “It’s okay, it happens!”
“Why didn’t you wake me?!” Snatching a pillow off the bed, she whacks me on the arm. I laugh, unable to help myself.
“I thought it would be rude to interrupt.”
“How considerate.”
“I know it’s been a while for you.”
She scoffs, pushing off her heels to smack me again. I yank the pillow from her so fast, she falls back on her ass squealing. Then it’s war.
She reaches for another, swinging at me with brutal force. I climb onto the bed, kneeling above her as our pillows collide. This time, a little too hard.
They explode, raining white feathers down on us in slow motion. Her laughter fills the room with the sweetest music I’ve ever heard.
I collapse over her, my arms bracketing her head as she stares up at me, a giggle dying on her lips.
“Was it good at least?”
“I don’t remember,” she breathes, her lavender eyes sucking me in.
One of those long stretches of silence yawns before us where time stands still, and all that exists is her.
Then her mind forces out an image I have no choice but to face.
An image of my hands sliding over her waist. Of my lips crushing hers. Of a stone wall digging into her back. Of the look on my face when she accidentally bit my lip.
“That’s what you were dreaming about?”
She gives me a sheepish nod. “Well, that’s how it started.”
Fuck me, I almost groan.
No, I actually do groan. Out loud.
Serena’s brows knit together. Maybe I shouldn’t have shared that with you.
My eyes flash. No, no. I’m glad that you did. It’s just…
What?
If I had known that’s what you were dreaming about—
Then what?
This girl.
I would have stayed to make sure you finished.
A naughty smile pulls at her lips. I can’t believe I’m allowing myself to say these things. To think them and share them with her. I’m setting myself up for disaster.
What happens when we go home to Aegar and Jace is back in the picture? It would be foolish to think that a little time away from him has cured her of her feelings. That things have changed, that suddenly her eyes are open to what this is—what we are.
I won’t be the one to say it.
Cursing myself, I slide off the bed.
“Zadyn,” she calls.
Halfway to the door, I turn back to see her flipped on her stomach, clicking her ankles—a shameless grin on her face and feathers still poking out of her dark waves.
“You have serious game. Who knew?”
Shaking my head, I allow myself a smile, reaching for the doorknob.
“Put some clothes on. Before you catch a cold.”
* Cue: So Sweet I Could Die by Lucia & The Best Boys