Chapter 68 Jace
JACE
“That fucking hurts!”
“You’re channeling an obscene amount of dragon fire and converting into pure magic. Of course it fucking hurts.”
I sit on a large rock, sharpening my blade. After this morning’s awkward as hell council meeting, and a grueling two-hour strategy meeting with Max and his lieutenants afterward, I desperately needed to get away.
“Shouldn’t this be getting easier?” Serena glances down at me from Furi’s back.
“It will if you keep practicing.”
“We’ve been at it for hours. Can I take a break now?”
“No.”
Blatantly ignoring my answer, she slides off Furi’s wing and hops onto the ground. “Still a hard-ass, I see.”
“Still a pain in the ass, I see.”
She laughs, strutting toward me and scooping up the waterskin. “How many times do I have to do this?”
“Until you can do it in your sleep. What you’re doing requires intense discipline,” I explain, glancing up at her leather-clad body.
Big mistake.
Seeing her in beautiful gowns and courtly finery was one thing, but the way she looks in her training clothes, disheveled and flushed, is my weakness. “Once you’re able to harness Furi’s fire, you can funnel it into any kind of power you want. Hence, wielding.”
I focus on my blade, running a small stone along its edges until tiny sparks pop off. Serena plops down on the ground, staring up at me with those wide purple eyes.
“So I should be able to convert it to whatever I want?”
“In theory.”
“Well, what if I wanted it to rain unicorns?”
I pause what I’m doing to shoot her a stern look. “This is not a joke. You need to take this seriously.”
“And I’m seriously asking what would happen if I wanted it to rain unicorns.”
“They’re an endangered species,” I mutter.
“Unicorns are real?” She gapes, her voice jumping an octave.
“Yes. If you really wanted to, you could make it rain unicorns. But you can do a lot more than that. Say you wanted to incapacitate, but not kill. You could freeze an entire army in place, render them immobile. You could use compulsion, you could do anything. It’s all about control.
Without it, you’ll kill everyone within a fifty-mile radius. ”
Satisfied with my sword, I slide it back into its sheath.
“That’s not a terrifying thought.”
“That’s why we’re here, learning how to do it safely. It’s going to hurt the first few times, but you’ll get used to it.”
She nods, getting to her feet. I have to admit, this is a welcome distraction. Being at the palace right now is stifling.
For decades, I watched Derek handle being king with grace and charisma.
He was the perfect balance of stern and gentle.
I am nowhere near as polished. I’m all rough edges.
Raw and crass. I was never a courtier. I don’t know how to sit where he sat and rule in his name. I already feel like a failure.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Her question startles me.
“About what?”
“Anything. Everything. Your wedding is coming up.”
“Forgive me for not wanting to discuss the floral arrangements with you.”
“Jace.” She purses her lips, then glances at the ground. “How—how is Sorscha doing with everything? I’m a little worried about her.” Concern crosses her beautiful face, drawing her brows together.
“I don’t know.” I sigh, pushing my hair back. “I try. She won’t talk to me. She says she’s fine, but it seems like she’s pulling away from everyone. I don’t want to push her.”
I should make more of an effort. But I’ve barely had time to eat or sleep since becoming regent. Aside from a few public appearances with her, there’s hardly enough time to get in a how are you.
“I’ve thought about going to see her.”
“What’s stopping you?” I ask.
She sighs. “I’m not sure she wants to see me. Lately I feel like a walking disaster, pulling everything into my wake. Every bad thing that’s happened these past few months, I’ve been right there front and center. Derek, Ilsa…you. I wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see me again.”
“I don’t think she blames you for any of that.”
“I don’t know, she just seems so…different.”
“Her father was murdered by the same monsters that killed her best friend. If she weren’t different after something like that…then I’d be concerned.”
Serena shakes her head, staring out into the clearing. “We never really talked. About Derek.”
She gazes down at me, her expression sympathetic. I still can barely look her in the eye, ashamed of my behavior since Vod. And still, instead of falling at her feet and begging her forgiveness, I just pushed her away. I insulted her. I hurt her, like I always do.
But rather than letting the crippling remorse hit me full force, I shove it down under layers of cultivated hardness I’ve spent years building up.
“How are you doing? Really.”
I set my jaw and shake my head. “I’d rather not talk about any of it.”
Her hands slide to her hips. “Well, if you don’t want to talk, then I will.”
“Serena—”
“You’re going through with this wedding in a few days, and I’m happy for you. I really am. But I think you and I need some clear boundaries.”
“Do you now?” I lean on my knees and peer up at her, really only thinking about how cute she looks when she’s trying to be serious.
“I do. I’ll continue training with you if we can both agree that from here on out, you and I are strictly platonic. As crazy as you drive me, I can’t lose you as a friend. Not at a time like this, probably not ever. So, I need you to agree to be my friend. And I will be one to you.”
Her openness and vulnerability have always stunned me. How can a person be so willing to share, so willing to give? I envy her and admire her at the same time for it.
I stand, walking closer until her pointed finger meets my chest. “And don’t tell me you’re too big for all of us small folk now that you’re king.”
“Never.” I allow the tiniest hint of a smile to show. “Let’s switch gears. I want to work on your hand-to-hand.”
She cocks her hip. “You’re just looking for an excuse to spar.”
“Do you blame me? I’ve been stuck behind desks all day, signing documents and striking deals with nobles. I need to get some of this pent-up energy out.”
“Well. Let’s see what you’ve got then, King.” She quirks a brow, getting into the fighting stance I taught her.
And because I taught her, I know she’ll strike first—which she does, throwing out a punch that would shatter a male’s jaw.
She whirls as I slip out of the way, rolling her neck and crouching again.
I advance this time, taking advantage of her open gait.
My fist finds her stomach as her elbow slams into my face.
The tang of blood coats my mouth as I laugh, staggering back a step.
“There’s that vicious streak I’ve been missing.”
She shrugs, a smug little smirk on her lips. “Learned from the best.”
I lunge for her again, and we fall into a dance of flying fists and swinging kicks. It’s lighthearted. Playful. And even though each of her hits hurt like hell, they feel tender. Like a kiss.
And I meet her move for move. Every punch I land, I imagine I’m kissing her back.
Hit. I want you
Hit. I need you.
Hit. I love you.
Breathless, I lock onto her shoulder, dragging her into my punch. She takes it in the ribs, the air whooshing out of her before she knees me in the groin.
“Fuck.” I taught her well.
Grabbing my hand, she twists beneath me and flips me flat on my back. I heave a half-groan, half-laugh as she plants her boot on my chest and peers down at me.
“Say I won.”
“Who said we’re done?”
I yank on her ankle, cackling as her ass hits the ground. Then I drag her closer until our thighs touch, and sit up on my knees to lean over her.
“Look at you. Always falling for me.”
Her lavender eyes flash. She gets to her knees, mirroring my posture, grabs a fistful of my hair, and leans in.
And I’m helpless.
Utterly helpless. Boundaries be damned.
She’s close enough to taste, and I’m suddenly starving. I open my mouth as she replaces her hold on my neck with a dagger to my throat.
My eyes peel open. “Dirty move.”
She nods. “Like you said. Vicious. Now say I won.”
“You won,” I pant. “You won this round.”
A feline smile cracks her lips as she releases my hair, twirls the blade in her hand, and slides it back into its sheath. She pats my cheek and sashays away, high on her victory, leaving me there on the forest floor staring after her.
Friends?
Yeah. Right.
I’m totally screwed.