Chapter 79 Jace
JACE
“Damn. We demolished this.” Max rattles the near-empty bottle of wine. “One sip left.” He raises his brow at me in question.
I shake my head, declining. Lifting the bottle into the air, he toasts, “To jilted grooms.”
I slide him a slow glare. “Too soon.”
“Yep, I got that.” The clouds hanging overhead shift, giving way to a pearlescent moon as Max drains the dregs of the wine.
I’m grateful for his company. The truth is, I don’t know what to do with myself now. I know what I’d like to do. I’d like to knock on Serena’s door, sneak into her room, and just…talk.
Talk? What the hell has happened to me? When did I become such a sucker?
I fall into a trance, staring off my balcony into the endless night sky, images of her drifting through my head like background music. Her face has become my mind’s default. I see her without any conscious effort. Even when I don’t want to.
“That meeting was…” Max trails off, at a loss for words.
“A flaming fucking disaster? Yeah, I was there.”
“As long as the old council stays on, I’m sure they’ll keep the prince in check. Zadyn too. He seems to have a pretty level head on him.”
I grunt in assent.
“Do you miss it?” Max asks after a moment.
“Miss what?”
“Being Captain.”
I look at him, my buzz already beginning to fade.
Of course, I do. Without that title and the duties that come with it…I’m lost. I have no idea who I am lately. But instead of the honest answer, I just shrug.
“Some days.”
“So what’s your plan? Zadyn seemed adamant that he didn’t want Hand. You think Eaton will let you stay on?”
“Depends,” I say, slouching back in the wicker chair. “I’ve spoken less than ten words to him and then fucking decked him when I found out he and Sorscha eloped. So it doesn’t look promising.”
“I’m sure the princess has some sway. She’ll vouch for you.”
“I’m not even sure I want her to.”
Max’s green eyes appraise me. “Are you alright?”
“Fantastic.”
“You seem—”
“How do I seem, Max? Please tell me. Dying to know.”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so…down.”
My laugh is a bitter sound.
“If Eaton lets you go as Hand, I would gladly relinquish Captain to you.”
“I don’t want your pity, Max.”
“It’s not pity, Jace, it’s what’s right. You’re still Captain in my eyes. People don’t respect me the same way they do you.”
“Because you’re too nice.” I wag my pointer finger at him. “And you smile too much. Try being a dick, it goes a long way.”
He, of course, smiles in response, casting his gaze out over the distant mountain peaks.
“Look, we both know if things had been different, it would have been Mal you chose to succeed you.”
He’s not wrong. Max is an exceptional fighter. He and Mal have that in common. But a captain needs to be ruthless. Needs to be able to turn his heart off when the time comes to get the job done. And Max’s heart is too big for that.
“I wonder what he’s doing right now.”
“Traitor things, I’m sure,” I mutter without thinking. Max’s jaw tightens, and I instantly regret the words. “I’m sorry, man.”
Max hangs his head. “It’s fine. You’re right. I just don’t know where I went wrong. How I missed the signs. He’s my brother. I came into this world with him. I know him better than anyone. I just can’t fathom how he could turn like this.”
“That’s the power one female can hold over you.”
I think about if the situation were reversed. If Serena were capable of the evils Ilspeth was, if she used her power and position to create suffering, would I do what Mal did?
And the answer is yes. I would burn villages to the ground if she asked me to. I would do terrible, depraved things for her love. And that’s a terrifying thought.
“I tried to warn him about her.” Max runs a hand through his long copper hair. “He kept telling me it was nothing. It was his job. That bitch got her claws so deep in him.”
“Max.” I lean forward. “You know what will happen if he shows his face back here. If we get our hands on him.”
Max swallows hard. I clap my hand over his shoulder as he studies the callouses on his hands.
“The brother you knew is already gone.”
He nods. I’m sorry. I truly am. But I can’t suffer him to live. He is part of the reason I lost Serena in the first place. He is the reason she gave Kylian everything. The reason for the rift between us.
I will take his head with a smile.
A knock at my door draws our attention inside.
“Come,” I call.
“Captain,” the steward says, stepping onto the balcony.
“Yes,” our voices overlap, and we exchange a look.
“Old habits.” I shake my head, slightly embarrassed.
The steward looks torn, but I nod to Max. He accepts the note, eyes scanning the parchment with furious speed.
“When did you get this?”
“It arrived an hour ago, sire. You weren’t in your room.”
Max glances up at me, his face leeched of color.
“What is it?” I bound out of the chair, ripping the letter from his hands. I scan the words once. Twice.
Fuck.
“It’s happening. Gather as many people as you can, and get to the tunnels. Now.”