23. Darak
23
DARAK
I sit at the crude wooden table, my appetite gone as I watch the nauseating display before me. Kaelor tears into his meat, but his amber eyes never leave Lirien's face. When she laughs at something Sethrys says, the beast's tail wags against the stone floor.
"More wine, my dear?" Sethrys's forked tongue flicks out as he reaches for her cup. His scaled fingers brush against hers deliberately.
"Thank you, Seth." Lirien's voice carries that same warmth she used with me just hours ago. The same warmth I thought was special. Reserved.
My stomach churns as Kaelor pushes his plate toward her. "Try. Sweet meat."
"Oh, I couldn't possibly eat another bite." But she does, letting him feed her a morsel directly from his claws.
The wine in my cup tastes like vinegar. Every gesture, every loving look they give her – it's a mirror of my own behavior these past weeks. The way I'd bring her water during our travels. How I'd scan the horizon for danger while she slept. The pride I felt when making her smile.
"Remember when we first met?" Sethrys coils closer to her. "You were so determined to prove yourself to the coven."
"And now look at her," Kaelor rumbles. "Strong. Beautiful."
I push back from the table, the scrape of my chair cutting through their intimate conversation. "I'll retire for the night."
"So soon?" Lirien's green eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see guilt there. Or perhaps that's just another manipulation.
"Yes." I turn away before I can see her curl further into their attentions. Before I have to witness more evidence of what a fool I've been.
The narrow hallway leading to my room has never looked more inviting.
I slam the door behind me, pressing my forehead against the rough wood. The guest room is sparse – a bed, a chest, a small table with a pitcher of water. My sword feels heavy at my hip, its familiar weight now a mockery of my warrior's instincts. How did I not see this coming?
Just hours ago, I'd pulled Lirien close as we crested the final ridge, thinking about building a life together. Now those thoughts feel laced with bitterness.
Laughter drifts through the door – Sethrys's cultured chuckle mixing with Kaelor's rumbling mirth. And there, like bells in the wind, Lirien's own delighted giggle. The same laugh that made my heart race on countless nights under the stars.
"Damn it." I yank off my sword belt, tossing it onto the bed. The scabbard bounces against the wall with a dull thud.
The bond is there inside me, warm, alive, inviting. I close my eyes, remembering how it felt when she strengthened it. How real it seemed. How perfect.
But then there's Kaelor, practically wagging his tail at her every word. And Sethrys, his golden eyes following her every movement with that same desperate devotion I feel in my own chest.
Is this what I look like to her? Another pet in her collection?
I grab the water pitcher, tempted to hurl it across the room. Instead, I set it down harder than necessary, water sloshing over the rim.
"Some warrior," I mutter to myself. "Centuries of battle experience, and I fall for the first demon who bats her eyes at me."
But even as the words leave my mouth, I know they're not true. It wasn't just her eyes. It was her determination. Her vulnerability. The way she'd curl into me at night, trusting me to keep her safe.
Unless that was all an act too.
"Fuck!" I shout, slamming my fist into the wall in an attempt to dispel the frustration in my chest.
I pace across the wooden floor, each step matching the thundering of my pulse. The shadows dance on the walls from the single oil lamp, and my fingers twitch with the urge to extinguish it, to hide in darkness where I won't have to face these thoughts.
The truth burns worse than any battle wound - I still want her. The bond remains strong inside me, warm and alive, mocking my attempts to hate her. Every time I close my eyes, I see her smile, feel the phantom touch of her fingers against my skin.
"Pathetic," I mutter, running a hand through my hair. "She's probably deciding which pet to take to bed tonight."
The image of Kaelor's massive form hovering over her makes my stomach turn. Or worse, Sethrys coiling around her, his scaled hands... I slam my fist against the wall again, welcoming the sharp pain.
Three soft knocks break through my spiral. The sound is delicate, hesitant - so perfectly Lirien that my body responds before my mind can catch up. My heart races, and heat floods my veins.
"What?" The word comes out harsh, hostile.
"Can I come in?" Her voice drifts through the door like smoke, sweet and impossible to grasp. "Please, Darak?"
My feet carry me to the door before I can stop them, and suddenly the door is open. I stare down at Lirien, her green eyes wide and uncertain as they meet mine. I hate how my chest tightens at her proximity, how the bond mocks me and my attempts at ignoring it.
"Can we talk?" Her voice is soft, barely above a whisper. The words hang in the air between us like a blade ready to fall.
My jaw clenches as warring impulses tear through me. Part of me wants to roar at her to leave, to curse her for every manipulation. Another part aches to pull her close, to believe there's some explanation that will make this all make sense.
I do neither. Instead, I step aside, giving her space to enter.
She slips past me, her robes rustling against the wooden floor. The scent of herbs and moonflowers follows her – the same scent that used to comfort me during our nights together. Now it just makes my stomach twist.
I drop onto the bed, the frame creaking under my weight. Lirien stands a few feet away, her fingers twisting together in that nervous habit I once found endearing. The silence stretches between us as she shifts her weight from foot to foot.
I stare at my hands, unable to look at her. The bond makes my skin tingle with awareness of her presence. Her scent fills the room – herbs and moonlight, and I'm so used to it by now that it nearly smells like home.
"I should have told you." Her voice wavers.
"Which part?" The words taste like ash. "The part where you collect men like trinkets? Or the part where none of this is real?"
"It's not like that." She takes a step closer. I can feel the heat of her body, remember how it felt pressed against mine. "The bond... it amplifies what's already there. It can't create feelings from nothing."
I laugh, the sound harsh even to my own ears. "Is that what you tell all of us? Sethrys? Kaelor?"
"The bond doesn't create false emotions," Lirien says, her fingers still twisting in her robes. "It's like... like wine. It loosens what's already there, makes it stronger, more immediate. But it can't conjure feelings from nothing."
"And I'm supposed to believe that?" I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "After seeing those two fawning over you like lovesick puppies?"
"That's exactly why I fought against strengthening our bond." She takes another step closer, and I hate how my body responds to her proximity. "I knew if we did, your emotions would become too entangled with mine. If you chose to leave?—"
"When," I correct her. "When I leave."
She flinches but continues. "When you leave, breaking the bond would be more difficult."
My head snaps up. "Break it? We can still break this?"
"Of course." Her voice softens. "Keeping the bond would be too painful for both of us after you leave. You wouldn't be able to get very far otherwise."
The pieces don't quite fit. I stand, pacing toward the window. "Then how were you able to travel across an entire continent without your..." I wave my hand toward the door, where her other pets wait. "Without them?"
"Because once the bond is sealed, it functions differently." Lirien's explanation comes quickly, rehearsed. "The initial binding requires proximity, but after that?—"
"After that, what?" I turn to face her. "You can just collect more of us?"
Her green eyes flash. "That's not?—"
"Not what you meant?" I step closer, close enough to see the faint glow in her irises. "Then what did you mean, Lirien? Help me understand how any of this isn't just another manipulation."
Lirien backs away from me, her robes rustling against the wooden floor. The moonlight streaming through the window catches in her silver hair. My fingers itch to reach for her, but I clench them at my sides instead.
"You don't get it." Her voice trembles, but her chin lifts defiantly. "Valentia blesses us with this bond. It's an opportunity, not a curse or a prison. She gives us the chance to experience love in ways most people never will, to feel it deeper, stronger?—"
"Love?" The word tastes bitter on my tongue. "Is that what you call this collection of yours?"
"There's nothing wrong with love." Her green eyes flash, the magic in them brightening.
"No." I step closer, towering over her. "But there's everything wrong with lies."
The bond throbs between us, making my skin tingle. Lirien's hands twist in her robes, but she holds my gaze. "The only lie I told you was that the summoning was an accident. Everything else – every moment, every word, every touch – that was real."
My laugh comes out harsh. "And I'm supposed to believe that?"
"Yes, because it's true." She reaches for me, but I step back. "Including the fact that the bond can be removed. That's why I brought you here. If that's what you want, we can break it."
Freedom. An end to this ache in my chest, this constant pull toward her. An escape from becoming like Kaelor and Sethrys, desperate for scraps of her attention.
"I do." The words come out sharp, cutting. "I want the bond broken. I want to be free of you. Now."