14. Aurel
14
AUREL
I keep my distance from her after last night, spending most of my time deep in the forest. The memory of her skin against mine haunts me, a constant reminder of my weakness. Every morning, I leave before she wakes, returning only to drop off food and supplies.
"You're avoiding me," she says one morning, catching me before I can slip away.
"I'm keeping us alive," I reply, not meeting her eyes. My tail coils restlessly beneath me. "The dark elves are still hunting us."
"That's not what I meant." Her voice carries a hint of steel I've never heard before. "We need to talk about what happened."
"Nothing happened." The words taste like ash in my mouth. "You were cold. I was there. That's all."
She flinches as if I've struck her. Good. Let her think it meant nothing. Let her hate me. It's better this way.
"You're lying." Vera's slender fingers brush my arm, and I jerk away, my body betraying me with its response to her touch.
"Don't." The word comes out as a growl. "You were a means to an end, nothing more. Don't make it something it's not."
I slither past her, heading deeper into the forest. Behind me, I hear her sharp intake of breath, but I don't look back. Can't look back. The forest swallows me whole, and I welcome its darkness.
Hours pass as I gather wood, hunt for food, anything to keep my mind off her. But her scent lingers on my skin, her taste on my tongue. The memory of her warmth threatens to drive me mad.
"Fool," I mutter to myself, snapping a branch with more force than necessary. "She's human. Weak. Beneath you."
But the words ring hollow, even to my own ears.
Later that night, under the star-flecked sky, I pace near our makeshift camp, my tail dragging patterns in the dirt. The memory of last night burns through my mind - her soft skin, her warmth, the way she whispered my name. I clench my fists. This weakness, this... humanity she stirs in me, it has to end.
Vera sits by the fire, stirring the remnants of our dinner. The flames cast shadows across her face, making her look ethereal. Dangerous. I force myself to look away.
"You've barely touched your food," she says, breaking the suffocating silence between us.
I grunt in response, keeping my distance. The further away I stay, the easier this will be. But she stands, moving closer, and my body tenses.
"Aurel, about what happened…” Her voice is soft, hopeful, filled with an innocence that makes my chest ache.
"It meant nothing." The words come out harsh, cold. Final. I keep my gaze fixed on the horizon, watching the sun bleed into darkness. If I look at her now, I might break.
"It... it didn't feel like nothing." Her voice cracks slightly, and I dig my nails into my palms to keep from reaching for her.
The memory of her body against mine flashes through my mind again. The way she fit perfectly in my arms, how she trusted me completely. Fool. She's just a means to an end. Nothing more. I can't afford to forget that.
I coil tighter around myself, watching Vera's silhouette through the flames. Her presence gnaws at me like a persistent ache. The way she moves, how she breathes - everything about her has become a distraction I can't afford.
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Like what?" I sneer, letting centuries of practiced cruelty seep into my voice. "Like the monster I am? Did you forget what I am, little human?"
But even as the words leave my mouth, I catch myself wanting to take them back. And that terrifies me more than any dark elf ever could.
Vera's eyes glisten, and I know my words have cut her deep.
I turn away from her, my jaw clenching so hard it hurts. The warmth of her skin still lingers on mine, a constant reminder of my weakness. My tail coils restlessly beneath me, scraping against the forest floor.
"You're a burden, Vera." The words taste like poison on my tongue. "I should have left you behind back in that mansion."
Her sharp intake of breath cuts through the silence. I refuse to look at her face, knowing what I'll see there. Knowing it'll break my resolve.
"Aurel, don't say that..." Her voice cracks, and something inside me cracks with it.
I slither away before she can say more, pushing deeper into the forest. The branches whip against my skin, but I welcome the pain. It's better than the ache in my chest.
Hours pass as I hunt, gathering food we don't need. Each time I return to camp, I drop the provisions near the fire without a word. Vera tries to catch my eye, but I keep my gaze fixed on the ground, the trees, anywhere but her.
"We need more firewood," I mutter, already turning away again.
"We have enough for days," she says softly.
I ignore her, disappearing back into the shadows of the forest. It's easier this way. Safer. The further I stay from her, the less chance I have of destroying us both.
The cycle continues - hunt, return, avoid, repeat. Each time I come back, she's there, her presence a constant reminder of everything I can't have. Everything I shouldn't want.
Deep in the forest, I coil around a massive oak, my claws digging into the bark. The thicket muffles my frustrated roar. Even here, alone, her scent lingers on my skin like a curse.
"Damn it all!" My tail lashes out, snapping a young sapling. "This wasn't part of the plan."
The plan was simple: use the human, escape, and return home. Not... this. Not these feelings that twist inside me like poison. Every time she looks at me with those eyes full of hope, something in my chest constricts.
I press my forehead against the rough bark. Her face haunts me - the way she lights up when I return to camp, how she reaches for me despite my coldness. The pure longing in her gaze when she thinks I'm not looking.
"She's just a human," I snarl to myself, but the words ring hollow.
My fist connects with the tree trunk. The impact sends shockwaves up my arm, but the physical pain is nothing compared to the chaos in my mind. I got what I wanted - my freedom. So why do I feel more trapped than ever?
The guilt gnaws at me, sharper than any blade. I manipulated her, used her weakness, her desperation. And now... now she looks at me like I'm her salvation.
"I should have left her behind." The words taste like ash in my mouth. But even as I say them, my body tenses at the thought of her alone, unprotected.
Another tree falls victim to my rage. The crash echoes through the forest, matching the thundering in my chest. This weakness, these... feelings. They make me want to tear the forest apart.
I'm ancient. Powerful. I've lived centuries without needing anyone. So why does the thought of her tears make my heart clench? Why does her smile haunt my dreams?
The anger builds, hot and fierce in my veins. Anger at myself, at her, at these unwanted emotions that threaten everything I am.
The forest around me feels suffocating. Every breath draws in her scent - a mix of wild herbs and something uniquely her. I need to leave. Now. Before these feelings root deeper, before I lose myself completely in what she makes me feel.
I return to our camp, my scales barely making a sound against the forest floor. Each movement is calculated, precise. Years of captivity taught me the value of silence, and now it serves a different purpose - keeping us hidden from the dark elves who hunt us.
The fire has burned low, casting dancing shadows across our makeshift shelter. Vera lies curled on her side, her breath steady in sleep. My coils tighten involuntarily at the sight of her.
Her face holds none of the tension from our earlier confrontation. In sleep, she looks almost fragile, like those porcelain dolls the dark elf children used to play with. The firelight catches her blonde curls, turning them to liquid gold where they spill across her cheek. Her skin glows with a soft flush from the heat of the dying flames.
I find myself moving closer, drawn by some force I can't - won't - name. A stray curl falls across her face, and my fingers twitch with the urge to brush it away. I curl them into fists instead, my claws biting into my palms.
"Foolish girl," I whisper, too quietly to wake her. "Trusting a monster like me."
Her cheeks are still flushed from the fire's warmth, and I remember how they felt beneath my fingers just nights ago. The memory sends an unwelcome surge of heat through my body. I force myself to look away, but her peaceful expression burns itself into my mind.
My tail coils restlessly as I watch her sleeping form by the dying fire. She looks peaceful, vulnerable. My chest tightens. No. I won't think about how she curls into herself when she sleeps, or how her face softens in the firelight.
"Damn this weakness," I mutter, running a hand through my hair. The dark elves never managed to break me, yet this slip of a human has worked her way under my scales without even trying.
I gather my minimal belongings, careful not to make a sound. My homeland lies far to the north, beyond the Shadowspine Mountains. If I travel through the night, I can put enough distance between us before she wakes.
Vera shifts in her sleep, a small whimper escaping her lips. My body freezes, every muscle tensing. For a moment, I consider staying, protecting her from whatever nightmare plagues her dreams.
"Fuck." The word comes out as a hiss. This is exactly why I need to go. These... feelings. They make me weak, vulnerable. A naga warrior reduced to watching a human sleep.
I slither toward the tree line, each movement deliberate and silent. The mountains call to me, promising freedom, power, everything I've dreamed of during my imprisonment. Yet my tail drags, as if weighed down by invisible chains.
"I won't look back," I tell myself firmly. "She was nothing but a tool. Nothing more."
The lie tastes bitter on my tongue, but I force myself forward. Into the darkness. Away from her warmth. Away from this madness that threatens to consume me.
I pause at the edge of our camp. Against my better judgment, I look back at her sleeping form. The dying embers paint shadows across her face, making her look even more fragile than usual. Her chest rises and falls with each peaceful breath, completely unaware that I'm about to disappear from her life forever.
"This is the right choice," I mutter to myself, but the words ring hollow in the night air. My fingers dig into the bark of a nearby tree, splintering it. "She'll be safer without me."
Vera shifts in her sleep, and a strand of hair falls across her face. My hand twitches with the urge to brush it away. Instead, I grip the tree harder, feeling it crack beneath my strength.
"Weak," I snarl at myself. "You're getting soft over a human."
But the memory of her warmth against my scales, the way she trusted me completely, makes my chest constrict. The forest seems to close in around me, the branches reaching like accusing fingers.
Will I regret this? The thought slithers through my mind, unwanted and persistent. I've lived centuries, made countless decisions, but none have felt this... heavy.
My body moves forward even as my thoughts war within me. Each scale that slides across the forest floor takes me further from her, from this weakness, from these feelings I never asked for.
The darkness swallows me whole, and I welcome its familiar embrace.