Count I . . .
The paper began to crumple, but I stopped myself. Folding it gently, I returned it to the pillow. It was the last piece of him I had, and it belonged where he’d once lain his head.
Well, not the last piece.
I grabbed the flash drive and stood to hunt down my laptop. Dropping onto the couch, I loaded it up.
There were multiple documents on it. The first was an order to vacate, and Remi’s name was listed at the top, along with a case number.
“New exculpatory evidence was presented following the conviction of the adult offender . . . establishing significant mitigating circumstances surrounding Mr. Remi Keane’s conduct.”
Like he’d said, the court cleared him of the crime after the fact.
I already knew enough, I thought, but I clicked on the next document.
Evan Keane. The name made my blood boil.
When I saw that Remi had been a party to the case, I didn’t want to read further, but he’d given this to me, so I thought that I had a responsibility to.
“Juvenile male, age nine and age ten at the time that incidents occurred.”
My stomach roiled, and I had to take a deep breath.
“ . . . did continuously and repeatedly commit lewd acts upon a child under the legal age of consent.”
“Count I . . .”
God, there were twelve counts. Seeing it there on the page, spelled out in legal wording . . . When I read the fifth incident of ‘sexual assault of a child in the first degree’, I slammed the laptop closed. I rushed into the bathroom and dropped in front of the toilet as I retched.
Remi was right. I wanted to burn that flash drive. It was a key to his past, but I didn’t think it should exist. If I could erase it from this world forever, I would. It still lived inside of him, though, and that was the greatest injustice that could ever exist.
Turning to sit on the floor, I leaned against the bathtub.
The idea of heading to Boston in a few hours was unimaginable in this moment.
I wanted to curl up and grieve for everything I’d lost. At the same time, I was weighed down by the horrific evil that existed in this world.
I wasn’t sure how people who had seen it firsthand didn’t immediately break and hide themselves away forever.
Remi was stronger than anyone had given him credit for.
Maybe it was that path he walked with his gods.
Whatever raw strength lived in him was as frightening as it was inspiring.
If it had been me, I wouldn’t be able to find beauty in the world the way that he did.
He was cynical sometimes, but not nearly as much as he probably should have been.
I hadn’t protected him enough. I wasn’t sure exactly what I should have done differently, but a part of me was convinced that I’d failed him.
Maybe I was still lost to the subsequent blows I’d received since waking up. The game might actually be the best thing for me. At least I could turn off my brain and sink into something that I loved.
As long as I didn’t look at Remi’s empty seat, everything would be perfectly fine.