Chapter 7
Finn
“We should have taken buggies,” Otto says again. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to make such a journey on these smelly beasts.”
I rub my horse’s neck, not minding her smell. “Buggies would have made too much noise. You’ll get used to it soon.”
“Well, your horse is clearly more comfortable than mine.”
“That’s because he’s more important,” Caden says. He’s also not a fan of riding, but it’s not like him to complain. There are four Defenders under his command on this journey: Trey, who was with Caden in the orphanage; twin sisters named Sue and Rita; and a bulky guy named Noah who barely speaks.
“I wouldn’t say that Finn is more important,” Otto says stiffly. “Though I can see why you might think that, Captain Anderson.”
Caden rides away and doesn’t answer, which I’m grateful for. Otto has a way of drawing you into an argument you can’t hope to win. I learned the hard way to keep my interactions with him to the bare minimum.
“This is strange,” Otto says as we ride south toward one of our outposts, where we will be spending the night.
“Why is this strange?”
“Well, we only have five Defenders with us. You and I should be important enough to justify a bigger squad.” He lowers his voice. “Is it because the captain couldn’t find any more Defenders who agreed to serve under him?”
I take a breath, feeling that the universe is testing me. “More people will draw more attention, and we have Timothy, who can sense danger.” I turn my head to give Otto a forced smile. “Nothing strange about this.”
“Well, there’s a spider riding a pony next to you, so I’d say this is pretty strange.”
I glance at Timothy, who is holding the reins of his brown pony. He seems too content to be bothered by any comment. “You’re lucky he’s here,” I say, and this time Otto doesn’t argue.
We reach the outpost toward dusk, and Caden signals the Defenders on duty about our approach.
They let us through the gate, and we tie our horses in the stable by the entrance.
Since it’s late, we go eat with those who aren’t on duty.
Unsurprisingly, they use the opportunity to ask Timothy about the old world.
He answers their questions patiently, sharing stories that sound like fiction, but he has no reason to lie.
I’ve heard all these stories before, but I still listen closely, hoping to catch a piece of information I missed.
Later, Timothy and I get our own room, which is small but clean. I go to take a shower, washing the long day from my skin. It’s a short walk back to my room, and when I get there with a towel wrapped around my waist, Timothy is gone. Caden sits on my bed, wearing plain civilian clothes.
“Lost your room?” I ask.
“Shut the door, Finn.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want others to catch me staring at your pretty nipples.”
With my face getting warm, I turn around to shut the door, but it needs some wiggling before I finally get it to fully close.
As I begin to turn around, I feel Caden behind me.
I tense when he touches my back, tracing my large tattoo with his warm fingers.
Getting that tattoo was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but every Raider must get one.
A dark skull covers half of my back while guns are under each of my shoulder blades.
I don’t mind him touching me there because I never chose to get that tattoo, so I’m not ashamed of it.
“Otto has a thing for you,” Caden says.
“He doesn’t.”
“I can tell.”
“Then maybe I should spend the night with him.”
“Would you like to spend the night with him instead of me?”
“Who said I want to spend the night with you?”
He leans his chin on my shoulder, his stubble brushing against my cheek. “You wanted me here for a reason.”
“For protection.”
“Bullshit.” He places his palms on my waist, above the towel that rests loosely on my hip bones. He kisses the side of my neck, raising goosebumps across my arms. “There’s something on you that’s getting in my way.”
It doesn’t take a genius to see where this is going, but I can’t pretend our problems can be fixed by sex, nor do I want it to become the only thing between us.
“I’m tired,” I say and turn around.
He narrows his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling you didn’t expect me to be all over you during this mission?”
“We’ve barely spoken in months. I don’t want to pretend like everything’s fine.”
“I’m not trying to pretend, but fine. I would still like to spend the night.”
I nod. “I’d like that too. Right after you take a shower. You smell like your horse.”
“Ouch.”
I get dressed while he’s gone, my heart beating faster knowing we’re about to share a bed again. We used to share a sleeping bag during our journey back from Kansas. It was awkward having our limbs all tangled, yet I slept better than ever, safely wrapped in his arms.
Caden returns and puts his things on the floor, his hair almost black when damp. He turns off the light, leaving stripes of moonlight shining through the blinds. We both lie down, and before I can decide how to position myself, he pulls me gently to rest my head on his chest.
I don’t know where Timothy is, but I appreciate him giving me this space.
“I didn’t mean to send mixed signals,” I say.
“You didn’t, but try to be less of a Finn about this.”
“Less of a Finn?”
“Don’t overthink things. We have this opportunity to figure things out.”
“I'd like that.”
“Good. Are you warm enough?”
“Yes.” We share a blanket, and my head moves gently with the rhythm of his breaths. His heartbeat is soothing, pulling me closer to sleep like a lullaby.
“Dino told me about the settlements up north that we lost contact with,” Caden says. “It feels like the New-Humans all over again—an enemy that is way ahead of us.”
“And still the New-Humans are dead, and we’re not.”
“We were damn lucky last time.”
“We won’t need luck against Denver. We have alliances all across Colorado, and the enemy isn’t all the way in Nevada this time. We just need High Hope to join us.” I once more feel the heavy weight of this assignment, worried that Dino’s faith in me was wrong.
“I might have nightmares tonight,” I say.
“Okay.” Caden pulls me closer. “Bring them.”
*
We keep a steady pace the following two days. It’s warm this time of year, but there’s enough refreshing breeze when we ride. And still, Otto complains. Why are we so slow to reach Rifle? Why are we riding all day without stopping? Even his complaints don’t get along.
“Captain, permission to gag the crying baby,” Trey says.
“Granted.”
“You keep your hands away from me, Defender Ginger! I’m a representative of the assembly.”
“Yeah, so’s Finn, and he isn’t complaining about shit.”
Otto huffs. “Well, he has other things to keep him… occupied. Not all of us take our responsibilities seriously, I’m afraid.”
Well, that does it. I turn my head to unleash hell upon this fool, but Caden rides next to him and whispers something in his ear. Otto grunts and rides ahead, clearly upset.
I shift my horse close to Caden. “What did you tell him?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
He lowers his voice. “I told him I know he has a crush on you, and if he plays his cards right, we might have a threesome tonight.”
I punch his shoulder. “You didn’t.”
“Of course I did. Get ready, Finny; you’re about to be the sandwich.”
He rides away before I can grab him. I forbade him to call me Finny.
“We’re a few hours from Rifle,” Timothy says from his pony.
“Are you sensing anything we should be concerned about?”
“No, but I expect to sense more activity the closer we get to the city.”
“Rifle is more of a town, just around three hundred residents.”
“Well, in the old days, it would’ve been considered a street.”
We stop for lunch next to a pond. I sit in the shade of a tree with Timothy, eating one of the cans of food we brought from Unity.
Caden sits with the other Defenders, and I find myself watching him while trying not to make it obvious.
He also watches me, though he seems less concerned about hiding it.
“You should speak with Otto,” Timothy says.
“About what?”
“He’s sitting alone and looking grumpy.”
“You just described how he always is.”
“But he does feel something for you, although he has a rather childish way of showing it.”
“It’s not mutual.”
“I should hope so, but he’s still your colleague.”
I glance at Otto, who doesn’t touch his food.
He’s sitting under a different tree, still wearing his beige uniform and getting it dirtier the longer we ride.
I already changed mine into regular clothes so I can have a clean set for when we reach High Hope.
He glances my way, then quickly looks away.
I sigh and go sit close to him. “We’ll sleep in real beds tonight.”
He frowns at my words, but he still says, “I’d appreciate a normal bed. I’ve never been to Rifle before. What is it like?”
“A pretty little town, right by a river. They have a good mayor, and he likes it when Hivers stop by.”
“Well, you’re hardly a Hive… sorry.” He shakes his head. “I don’t enjoy being rude to you.”
“Could have fooled me.”
He crosses his arms. “I might have been a part of one too many conversations where somebody criticized you and your boss.”
“Then maybe you should hang out with a different crowd.”
“Assembly Member Lock isn’t exactly a crowd. He was meant to be the head of the assembly before Dino snatched it from him.”
“You mean legally elected, right? And I’m sure that Lock and his good buddy the general will survive the disappointment.”
He chuckles, then he quietly says, “Listen, I know it’s not my place, but you’d be better off staying away from Caden.”
I’m too stunned to speak.
Otto hurries to add, “I just think that someone like you—who is clearly ambitious—shouldn’t let someone who is considered bad luck drag you down.”
I’m no longer stunned, just angry. “I didn’t ask for your opinion, and that bad luck would risk his life so you could keep yours.”