Chapter 18
Finn
“Our new friends haven’t spoken all day,” Timothy says as we walk on an old concrete road in the middle of the woods.
“They’re saving their energy,” I say. “I just hope we didn’t waste our time going through all this trouble.”
“Have faith!” River calls from up ahead, not needing to be close to hear my words.
I try to have faith, but I can’t see how this substance in my backpack can help us rescue Caden.
It has been four days since we left Pueblo after our chopper exploded.
We’ve been keeping a steady pace toward Florence, where we’ll communicate with Dino to plan our next steps.
All this walking has given me time to think and come up with a plan, but I haven’t shared it with the others yet.
We stop for the night at a clearing in the woods, about a day’s walk from Florence. River takes care of the campfire and the food, humming as he works. Buck finishes eating first and goes to scan the area, even though River and Timothy are capable of sensing any nearby danger.
As I eat my rabbit stew, the bottle with the substances begins to stir and glow.
I open the cap, allowing it to slide outside.
The puddle shifts and rises until it takes the form of a small man, no more than eight inches tall.
He walks to stand by the fire, the dancing flames making him look more orange than yellow.
“Very strange and creepy,” River says. He’s sitting next to Josh, their legs stretched forward and their backs against a log. “Would you like to hear me play?”
The small man says, “We would. Music is something we remember.”
River plays his harmonica, and when he finishes, the man says, “It was beautiful. We are content.”
“What were your names?” Josh asks.
“We don’t remember. When you feel and act as one for so many years, names lose their meaning. We do remember the names of others, like the five children who left us. Paul, Erica, Ben, Eleanor, and Samuel, though we called him Sam.”
“They all left together?” I ask.
“Yes, following Paul. We asked them to wait until we learned more about the state of the world, but Paul was restless.”
“Was he also cruel back then?” I ask.
“No.”
“The child you knew is gone,” Josh says, as if it’s important for him to make it clear.
“Yes, the child we knew is long gone, but we would still like to see for ourselves what he has become.” He melts into a puddle again, sliding back into the bottle.
Buck returns shortly after and sits down by the fire.
“You’ve been thinking,” Josh tells me.
“What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “Feels to me like you might have a plan, or the start of one.”
I like how well he can read me. I didn’t want to bring up my plan, but perhaps it’s the right time to discuss it.
With all eyes on me, I say, “I don’t think that an attack on Denver is likely to happen anytime soon.
Unless the Raiders end up doing something extreme, the Free Cities will take their time.
And even if we do attack, Caden might get hurt in the process, maybe executed before we can get to him.
Our best chance to save him will be to find out where they are keeping him and in what conditions.
For that, we need someone from the inside. ”
“Do you know anyone in Denver who can help us?” River asks.
“He means himself.” Josh holds my gaze. “You want to enter Denver undercover.”
“I have the tattoos, and I know my way around a bit. I can keep a low profile and search for him, then reach out to you when I have something to share.”
“How will you do that from there?” River asks.
I raise the bottle. “I’ll take one of them with me, and the other two will stay with you. They can communicate with each other from afar.”
“Smart,” Buck says. “I’ll get someone to help you out with a good cover story. They can get suspicious of people they’re not used to seeing, even with your tattoos.”
“I don’t like you being alone in there,” Josh says.
“Neither do I,” Timothy says. “You must remember that Caden was captured because of Hector. To find him, you would likely need to get close to a very dangerous man.”
“All the more reason for me to investigate and find out more about what we’re facing.
I can’t think of a better way to learn about Hector’s intentions than to get close to where he’s operating from.
Even if I can’t get to Caden, discovering more about what’s going on in Denver could make the Free Cities act sooner.
” The more I speak, the more confident I feel about my plan.
“It sounds very dangerous,” River says. “I don’t like it.”
“You once asked me to get captured by Raiders so I could infiltrate Unity, which almost got me killed.”
“Yes, but I am much more mature now and wise.”
“Well, I guess I’m not. My plan is the best option we have at the moment, and we all know that.”
“Even if that’s true, we still need to consult with Dino,” Timothy says.
“He won’t agree.”
“He can’t stop you,” Josh says. “He’ll get angry, and you’ll feel like shit for disappointing him, but he’ll end up accepting your decision because he cares about you more than he cares about being right.”
He clearly speaks from experience, though my bond with Dino isn’t the same as the one he has with Josh, so I might just end up with the angry and disappointed version of Dino. “Okay, I’ll speak with him.”
*
“You’re out of your goddamn mind!”
I exhale. The room has an open window with a nice view of a nearby field, but I still feel like I’m struggling to breathe. “It’s the only way.”
“Finn, it’s definitely not the only way,” Dino says through the radio transceiver.
“Okay, then it’s the only way that won’t take months.”
“There are thousands of people living in Denver. The city is massive.”
“But there is only one captive Defender there, so it shouldn’t be impossible to find him. I told you about the substance we found—I can use it for communication.”
“And what if you get captured?”
“I’m willing to take that risk.”
“You are my right-hand man, Finn, which makes you much more valuable than almost anyone in Unity.”
I realize what he’s saying. I know things.
Like where our outposts and supply routes are, the names of our spies in the Free Cities, the secret ways to get in and out of Unity, and much more.
I try to think of what to say, but I’m lost. If I were Dino, I would also be furious right now.
His trust in me might backfire because of my determination to save Caden.
I open my mouth to take back my plan, yet every part of me insists this is the only way.
“I’m sorry for abusing your trust, sir.” My throat tightens. “I swear I’ll kill myself before I let them get anything out of me. I’ll never jeopardize Unity.” Before Dino can reply, I say, “I resign effective immediately.”
As he shouts my name, I turn off the transmission.
*
“How did it go?” Josh asks when I step outside. River and Timothy must have gone somewhere else in the meantime.
“It went fine.”
“Liar.”
“I resigned.”
His eyes grow wide. “Why the hell for?”
“I shouldn’t do this as an employee of the Assembly. It’s not fair to Dino.”
He doesn’t argue, though I can tell he’s conflicted. “You’re putting a lot on the line.”
I can’t think of a better way to explain my determination than by saying, “He’s my River.”
Josh nods. “I understand. That guy Buck wanted you to meet is waiting. I’ll go with you.”
“Thanks.”
We walk back to the mayor’s house, where we’ve been staying since we returned to Florence four days ago.
I waited to speak with Dino until the last moment, but I never expected to end up unemployed.
Yet somehow, it feels right. I’ll be returning to Denver as a nobody, the same as I’ve been for most of my life.
I’ll fight with my nails and teeth to get what I want, with no protocols or diplomacy to get in my way.
We enter the mayor’s house, which is pleasantly cool despite the warm day. A thin man in black clothes sits on the couch, drinking beer. I recognize him as the one we met outside Molly’s Burgers. He turns to watch me with his single eye. “Hello again. Did you find who you were looking for?”
I’m about to say I didn’t, but I did find Josh. “Partly, but I plan on changing that.”
“I guess that’s why I’m here. Sit.”
Josh and I grab chairs and sit in front of the man. “You didn’t tell me your name.”
“Zachariah, but you can call me Zac.”
“I need you to—”
“I know what you need. How well do you know Denver?”
“I’ve been there a few times. The gang I was with came there to trade and unwind, but we never stayed long.”
“Then you’ve likely only stuck to the center area and not to where the former ruling houses are; those parts of the city are much more secluded and guarded. Do you still know anyone inside?”
“No. My old gang is dead.” Though that isn’t completely true. Clint separated from his brother at some point and took half of the gang members with him, but that was a long time ago, and Clint always wanted to move south because of the cold winters.
“It’s not uncommon for Raiders not to have a gang,” Zac says, “unless they live in the wild. And since you don’t have a gang, you’ll need to pretend to be local.”
“They might want to know where I live.”
Zac pulls a note and a key from his pants pocket. “Memorize this address. You’ll have a small house waiting for you.”
“Thank you.”
“There are more details in the note about why you were out of town.” He gives me a once-over. “When you get to Denver, try to be a bit less… you.”
“Meaning?”
“Less like a Hiver.”
I don’t know if I should defend myself or thank him for the compliment. “I wasn’t good at being a Raider. I mostly stayed out of the raiding part.”
Zac narrows his eye. “And your old gang allowed that?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Josh says firmly.
A while ago, I told him about my deal with Derek that kept me out of combat in favor of becoming his plaything. I’m not ashamed of that because I was the one who came up with that deal, and Derek didn’t need much convincing.
“For you to pull this off, you’ll need to play the part,” Zac says, and I know he’s right. I could barely pass as a Raider before my domesticated year at Unity.
“I’ll play the part,” I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel.
“All right. Make sure to take nova and some weapons with you.” He taps his knees. “If that is all, I’ll be hitting the road again. Tell Buck we’re even when you see him.”
Once he leaves, Josh and I go to find the rest. We reach Frankie’s Repairs and Science Things, where River holds Timothy next to Frankie’s desk, the three of them examining something. They turn their heads when they notice us approaching, and Timothy asks, “Did you speak with Dino?”
“Yes. He wasn’t happy, but he understood there isn’t a better way.”
“Based on your heart rate, you’re clearly lying,” Timothy says, and I can’t help but feel like I’m letting him down as well. We’ve been partners for the last year, sharing the burden of my work until it turned into our work. “Well, at least we were able to make this for you.”
Frankie clears his throat. “It was me who did over ninety percent of the work, but I am willing to share the credit.” He raises a necklace with a vial pendant that holds a yellow liquid.
I walk closer to examine it. “How did you get one of them into such a small thing?”
“The necklace itself is hollow,” Frankie says, “so part of the substance remains there.”
I take the necklace. It’s heavier than it seems, but it should feel fine around my neck. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes.” It’s the voice of a woman, faint but clear.
“Are you comfortable inside?”
“I do not measure sensations by comfort, but I do have sufficient space to exist.”
“Hmm, good. Are you sure that Hector won’t be able to sense you?”
“We estimate it is unlikely with just one of us present.”
Estimate. I put the necklace around my neck. “Thank you, Frankie.”
“Did you get your cover story?” Timothy asks.
“Yes, and I have a house waiting in Denver.” I’m worried about how much of a guarantee that is, but I won’t know for sure until I get there.
We go to pick up supplies for my journey, but nothing that might be associated with Florence. Based on the note I got from Zac, I should pretend to be a messenger for hire, working for different gangs that want to pass messages without revealing their location.
Back at the mayor’s house, we have dinner that Buck cooks. Since I’m too stressed, I end up going to my room early. I’m to leave at first light if I wish to make it to Denver by evening.
I lie in bed with the bedside lamp on, trying to focus on my breathing so I can fall asleep, but it doesn’t work.
I’m like a taut wire, ready to snap. A voice in my head urges me to reconsider my decision.
There must be a safer way to help Caden without surrounding myself with the same people I vowed to stay away from.
Old and painful memories resurface, of burned-down towns and so many unnecessary deaths.
I wish to be braver, but my fear is growing faster than my bravery until cold sweat breaks across my skin. I barely notice the knock on the door. “Yes?”
Josh enters. “Still up?”
“I can’t sleep.”
He climbs into my bed and lies down. I turn onto my side to face him, incapable of hiding my fear. Or is it panic? Yes, I think that I’m panicking.
“A few nights after Ruben died during Skyfall, I couldn’t sleep,” Josh says.
“I went to Caden’s room so I could sleep in his bed.
I used to do that when I was little. He let me lie next to him, and I asked him what we were supposed to do now, because Unity was like an open wound, with everyone grieving and expecting another attack. ”
“What did he say?”
“That we first need to get our shit together, then we must fight harder and take the war to them. He was going to join the Defenders, he said, and every single day, he was going to kill those who killed his brother until none of them were left breathing. It scared me to hear how committed he was to war, like it was our only option. Our destiny.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No. War is nobody’s destiny. I can’t think of a more miserable existence.
” He takes a breath. “But I understand now what he meant that night about killing everyone who killed his brother. If… if they kill Caden, I won’t stop until I kill every one of them.
That is why I need you to save him, so I won’t have to kill for the rest of my life. ”
I slide closer to him, feeling braver and even more committed. “I promise, Joshy.”
“Are we all sleeping with Finn tonight?” River asks from the doorway, Timothy in his arms.
“I don’t mind,” I say, since the bed is big enough.
I lie comfortably between River and Josh, with Timothy at the edge of the bed. We turn off the light, and at least for tonight, I feel safe.