Chapter 19
Nineteen
ADDIE
Iwasn’t Eli’s keeper. He was an adult man who had a life that existed outside the walls of our flat. He didn’t owe me any explanation about his whereabouts when he went out. Not really, anyway.
But it was coming up to one a.m., and Eli wasn’t home yet.
He was usually home by eight at the latest while he was in this transition period at Vivi’s.
Which he was still in for another three days.
It felt like I was within my rights to be a little concerned about his whereabouts.
When I left Vivi’s earlier, he said he was going to clean down and he would see me later.
I haven’t worked in a kitchen for a while, but I know it doesn’t take over ten hours to clean down a kitchen.
Especially not with Darren fucking Henry knocking about with his super cleaning skills. It would have taken two hours. Max.
I checked my phone again to see if I’d missed anything from him, even though I knew he hadn’t been in touch.
I’d been checking every five minutes for hours.
I was tempted to venture out of my room and do a sweep of the rest of the flat to check if maybe I had missed hearing him come in, but I knew I hadn’t.
This flat wasn’t so big that a person could silently sneak in when I had been in the primary shared living space until half an hour ago.
I had been grappling for the last few hours over whether it was my place to check that he was okay.
Reading back on our messages, they were all pretty much surface shit.
Dumb questions that I asked, and he answered without hesitation.
Quick check-ins on whether he had any thoughts about dinner, because I no longer had to share the burden of thinking up dinners alone anymore.
Nothing had been sent to check that the other wasn’t lying abandoned in a ditch somewhere.
I started typing out a text that felt almost as risky as sending a ‘you up?’ message just because of the time I was writing it, and then I heard the front door open.
As quickly as the hinges creaked open, the door shut again, loudly. If I had been asleep, the noise would have shocked me out of it. I climbed out of bed and went to see if Eli was okay, but as I opened my bedroom door, I heard it.
A moan. Choked off and wanting. A whimper. Breathless and needy. A grunt. Guttural and gruff. A huskily whispered ‘you’re going to take me so well’ in a voice I heard every day. Just never that deep and broken.
Eli was fine.
And he wasn’t alone.
Eli and whoever he brought home with him had stamina that I had no choice but to be impressed by. Around the three a.m. mark, I managed to fall asleep, the sounds of their moans the white noise that lulled me off, which was a new one for me.
I had woken up with a start that turned out to be the beginning of an orgasm, but it was ruined the moment my eyes opened. As a result, I had been deeply unsatisfied ever since. And awake since seven a.m., which felt like a crime when I had nowhere to be today.
I would have done something to relieve the ache, but given what happened the night before, I had no faith that the sound of my vibrator wouldn’t carry, and I didn’t want to have to deal with that on top of the strange realisation that I was jealous of whoever was still lying in Eli’s bed.
Instead, I finally gathered the courage to read through my unfinished thesis. If I could listen to my crush rail someone into the weekend, then I could read a half-written document that I hadn’t looked at for two and a half years.
It turned out to be a much easier task than I was expecting.
As I read through it, I made notes about which parts I thought still worked and ones that needed to be metaphorically set on fire so I had something to discuss with my advisor when we finally met in person.
But now, I was tired from all the focusing and the lack of decent sleep, surrounded by various pieces of paper on the living room floor.
Eli and his new friend still hadn’t surfaced, and there was an itch underneath my skin that I hadn’t felt in weeks.
I pulled out my phone and texted Rachel. She was always up for an evening out, and she had vetted every single one of my situationship partners. I was certain she could apply the same level of care to a one-night stand.
I needed to get over my crush on Eli. It was silly and one-sided and was going to lead to nothing. Getting under someone else was the best solution.
Before I fell asleep, Eli was making it loudly known how much he was enjoying his bedmate’s mouth, and it turns out, I even missed giving head.
If you were to ask me what I thought I would miss the most about sex, I wouldn’t have immediately said blow jobs, but now that I hadn’t given one in a while, I realised that it might have been the thing I missed most. I liked the power that came with it.
Making someone feel good with just my mouth and throat.
I also quite liked how quickly that power could be taken from me.
Then came the memory of the other parts of sex that I always knew I would miss should I stop having it. The irritation of stubble on my inner thighs. The initial stretch as my body accommodated to that first thrust. A scrape of teeth against my nipple. Hands grabbing at my waist. Being pinned down…
Maybe that was the problem. I had gone from semi-regular sex to nothing for nearly two months. My crush on Eli was just misplaced dormant horniness.
Or something.
I need to go out
Rachel replied almost immediately.
What kind of out?
The kind of out that leads to me getting laid
Tonight?
Tonight works
I know the perfect place. Meet at 8?
Meet where?
Just come to me. Actually get here for 7 and we can have a briefing on what you want
A consenting male was basically my only criteria.
See you at 7
I switched out of my messaging app and into my Solitaire one. I had exhausted my ability to work and a Solitaire streak to uphold.
I was nearly finished with my first game when I heard Eli’s door squeak open.
I looked up just as a man walked into my line of vision.
He had his back to me as he slipped on his shoes by the door.
He wasn’t wearing a shirt—he couldn’t, his shirt was draped over the back of the sofa—so naturally, my eyes were drawn to the muscles of his back.
There was a large tattoo of a snake that started at his upper back, the tail sweeping over his upper arm before disappearing from view.
Eli had good taste in men. Eli had shockingly similar taste in men to me.
He turned around and stuttered when he caught sight of me.
His face was equally impressive as his back. Sculpted. Defined. All the adjectives.
Hazel eyes held a look of panic.
“Hey,” I said, my fingers waggling in a half wave.
“Hey. I didn’t know there was anyone here.” His voice was rich and smooth like honey. I squeezed my thighs together, which added pressure to my clit. I was so turned on that if I kept squeezing, I could probably come like that.
“I’m not going to judge you for sneaking out.”
He laughed softly. It was almost just a loud exhale, except it softened his whole face. “I’m not sneaking out. Eli knows I’m going. I have to get to work.”
“Your place of work doesn’t require a shirt?” I teased.
“I couldn’t find it. I was hoping it was out here,” he said, his eyes darting around the room. His shoulders dropped when he saw it on the sofa, and he rushed over to pick it up.
I drank in the final view of his back and the way the muscles moved as he pulled his shirt on. All too soon, it was covered.
“Thanks. It was nice to see you,” he said as he opened the front door.
“You’re welcome. Have fun at work,” I replied. He smiled, a breathtaking look on him, and nodded as he left.
I finished my game of Solitaire, gathered my notes into a haphazard pile and put them on the dining room table before I retreated to my room.
Now that I knew there would be no round two, maybe I could get some sleep.