Denver （Fifteen Years Old）
Denver
(fifteen years old)
I didn’t expect to fall asleep at Blair’s house. After all, I spent hours tossing and turning in my own bed before saying “fuck it” and grabbing Grandpa’s truck keys from the bowl in the kitchen. I planned to just enjoy her company—even as she slept—because she had a way of making me feel better without trying, and the last thing I wanted was to be alone. But I inhaled the subtle scent of her shampoo, felt the rise and fall of her breath against my chest, and I was a goner. Arguably, the best sleep I’d ever had.
I also didn’t go to her house intending to kiss her. Sure, it was something I had considered doing a number of times. I’d even been close: when she bumped into me coming out of the tack room and her hands fell against my chest, when she leaned her head on my shoulder as she helped me with math homework alone in my bedroom, or when she grabbed my hand as we ran away from Austin after pranking him with a bucket of water on top of a door.
Okay… Maybe subconsciously I went to her house with the intention of kissing her. Because I definitely didn’t hold back the moment I had the opportunity. I dreamt about our kiss all night, then woke up with the worst problem a teenage boy sleeping next to a girl can possibly have, and got the hell out of her house before she woke up.
—
Blair sat on Chief, listening to Mom give critiques about her last run. It was a dreary day—fitting for the day after we learned of Mom’s diagnosis—and a distant thunderstorm rumbled across the ranch. Chief’s ears perked, and both women turned their heads toward the sound, which was conveniently in my direction. Blair’s eyes met mine for a split second, and even from a considerable distance, there was no denying the ruby red hue on her freckled cheeks.
Mom waved before turning to walk back to the house, and Blair trotted toward me…then past me without a word.
Weird.
We kissed and now she was actively avoiding me, and I had no idea why. Granted, I’d only kissed one other girl before, but she didn’t take off running, so I was pretty confident I wasn’t a bad kisser or something.
“Hey, good job out there,” I shouted as I walked around the side of the barn.
“Thanks,” Blair mumbled, pulling Chief’s saddle off.
“How’s Mom doing?”
“Seems fine.”
I reached to take the saddle from her, but she shrugged me off, moving quickly past me.
Oh my God.
It dawned on me that I didn’t waste any time leaving this morning, and I might’ve left evidence behind in my panicked, embarrassed state. I pressed my back against the wall with a groan. Of course she was avoiding me. She was probably completely disgusted. Muttering curse words under my breath, I scrubbed a hand across my jaw, and turned to escape the barn before having to face her again.
As luck would have it, Blair stepped out of the tack room and crashed into me. Her chest pressed against mine, hands wrapping around my arms to stop herself from falling over.
When she released her grasp, I stumbled backward. Desperate to have as much distance between us as I could manage, despite every tendon in my body aching to be close to her again. She and I had been in close proximity a thousand times over the last two years of friendship. But suddenly it felt different.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked quietly, looking down at her feet and shuffling a few pieces of hay around on the concrete floor.
“Oh, um…okay. How about you?”
“Yeah, okay.”
For a moment that felt a decade long, we stood on opposite sides of the barn alley. Shifting on our feet, refusing eye contact, but unable to walk away.
Blair broke the silence. “Five seconds of honesty?”
I nodded, though I was convinced this was about to be the most embarrassing moment of my life. If she was about to call me out for what happened this morning, I’d need a quick explanation. A list of lies ransacked my brain: I was eating ice cream and made a mess (stupid), the roof had a slow leak (she’ll know it’s a lie as soon as she gets home), I peed my pants (equally as embarrassing as the truth), she peed her pants (not believable whatsoever).
“I really like being your friend, and I don’t know what I did last night to upset you, but—”
“Upset me?” I interrupted. “You didn’t. Being with you made me feel better after the worst day I’ve ever had.”
Her nose crinkled in the cutest way. Small freckles bunching together. A crease forming short ridges between her eyebrows. And I wanted to kiss her scrunched, confused face.
“Why did you leave before I woke up then?”
Shit.
“Um…Well. I had to go.” I fiddled with the end of my leather belt, praying she wouldn’t pry further.
“Five seconds. Please.”
I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans, crossing my fingers. Hopefully it wouldn’t lead to a bunch of bad karma or something—I had no choice but to lie. “I had to get back here before my dad and grandpa woke up, or I’d be in a ton of trouble. And I didn’t want to wake you up that early.”
Okay, not a complete lie. But I definitely would’ve woken her up to say goodbye, if that was the only reason for my early morning escape.
“Oh, God, I’m an idiot. Of course. I thought…I thought you left because you realized you made a huge mistake. Let’s forget about it. It never happened,” she rambled, hands flailing. “I mean, you had just found out about your mom, so your emotions were probably all over the place. And, like, you definitely wouldn’t kiss me otherwise.”
“I wouldn’t?”
She snorted like I’d made a stupid joke.
And something about that sparked a flame in my stomach. My boots scraped across the barn floor on my way to her, until we were mere inches apart, and staring at each other with heaving breaths. Her captivating brown eyes swallowed me whole, pulling me the final distance until they shuttered closed, and my mouth crashed into hers. Her lips parted with a sigh as she relaxed into me, arms draping around my neck. Exploring each other with soft strokes, her tongue was warm against mine, and she tasted like cinnamon gum. And when I pulled away, it took a few extra seconds for her eyelids to flutter open.
“Denny.” Her tongue slowly swept along the ridges of her teeth. “You’re my friend—my best friend . Sometimes you even tell strangers I’m your sister.”
I grimaced. That was something I definitely wouldn’t do again.
She continued, “I don’t want to wreck our friendship.”
Nervously reaching for her hand, my heart racing, I made a promise with myself to never let anything come between me and Blair. “We’ve argued about things before and always stayed friends. Remember the spit swear we did last year? Kissing is no different.”
Well, it was a little different. Better, for sure.
“A kiss swear?” She looked up at me, freckled cheeks rosy and eyes smoldering.
“A kiss swear.” I delicately pressed my lips to hers again. “I promise I won’t let any amount of kisses ruin things, Bear.”
That was an unintended five seconds of honesty, and a promise I had no intention of breaking. I wanted to kiss Blair Hart every single day for the rest of my life. And I wouldn’t let anything get in the way.