Chapter 5
After that long talk with my mother, I did some soul searching and realized a few things. I concluded that I needed confirmation that Knox was still interested in me, and before I drove myself crazy, it would benefit me to find out.
I still needed an estimate for a patio and hadn’t bothered to reach out to anyone else, so I figured I’d have Knox do it, and use the opportunity to feel him out.
When he arrived, I kept things professional, showing him pictures of what I wanted, then taking him outside to survey the area. I didn’t want to be in the way, so I came back inside to wait for him.
He didn’t waste any time putting me in the hot seat. When I offered him that bottle of water, I should’ve been drinking it myself because I was more than hot and bothered.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he gulped the water. It was a shame that I was jealous of a damn water bottle because it got to feel his lips, and I’d never had that opportunity. When he put the cap back on the bottle and set it on the counter, his gaze met mine, and I could’ve melted.
When I asked him to come over to look at my backyard, I wasn’t expecting us to end up having rounds of the best sex I’d had in my life, and I didn’t regret a single second.
I didn’t recall falling asleep, but I woke up to complete darkness, wrapped in a strong set of arms. It only took a moment for my memory to be flooded with the events of the evening, making me smile.
Knox St. Patrick was definitely that nigga in the bedroom. His skills far exceeded all three men I’d been dealing with, so I had no problem cutting them off.
It had been years since I’d wondered what would happen next between a man and me after our first sexual interaction. Once I’d decided that I wasn’t looking for love or long-term companionship, I didn’t care if we never spoke again.
With Knox, it crossed my mind when our lips connected for the first time, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I’d asked myself numerous times over the past year why I was so attracted to him, and I'd come up with nothing.
He was your typical handsome, intelligent, successful man with a great personality, who could get just about any woman he wanted. I’d dealt with a plethora of them over the years, and nothing about them said forever.
Something about Knox attracted me in a different way. I’d felt it immediately but refused to acknowledge it, and I gave him the runaround, assuming we’d never see each other again. The next time I saw him, the feeling was still there, and I was confused.
When I finally agreed to a date, I made up in my mind that no matter how good a time I had, I’d ignore the feelings in the pit of my stomach and tell him I wasn’t interested. I’d been questioning that choice for the past year.
He adjusted his body, and his arm fell away from me, giving me the opportunity to slip out of bed. I picked up my phone and saw it was just after midnight, then crept into the bathroom, closing the door before turning on the light. When I looked in the mirror, I gasped.
My neck and chest were covered in purplish marks, and there was no one to blame but the man sleeping peacefully in my bed. I leaned closer to the mirror to get a better look and sighed.
It would take a good amount of makeup to cover them, and I didn’t wear makeup like that. Since there wasn’t anything I could do about it, I started the shower and relieved my bladder while the water warmed.
I stepped into the shower, closed my eyes, and let the water cascade down my body, praying the warm water would calm the soreness I’d feel in a few hours. I typically had sex a couple of times a month, and it had been about a month since I last engaged, so I couldn’t say I was out of practice.
Jonathan, Kenneth, and Zion were good in bed, but I wasn’t invested in them and didn’t fully let go. We didn’t kiss with tongue, I provided the condoms, we only went one round, maybe two when I was extra horny, and we didn’t spend the night together.
Knox had fucked all that up. He made me feel as if I didn’t have any rules or standards when it came to my sex life, and I needed a moment to process it all.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice him entering the bathroom until I felt a cold draft on my back. Before I could turn around, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulders.
“You mind some company?”
I let my head fall against his chest, and he kissed my neck. He took my loofah from my hands, letting it fall to the floor, then he cupped both breasts with one hand. His other hand slid down my stomach until it reached my center.
A moan fell from my lips as he rubbed my clit with his thumb and dipped a finger, or two, into my pussy. He released one of my breasts and squeezed my nipples between two of his fingers, but I couldn’t tell which ones.
“Shit,” I whispered.
Between his tongue caressing my neck and his fingers doing the same to my nipples and pussy, I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I’d be cummin’ soon, as a buzzing sensation shot through my body.
As I reached my peak, I could feel him in places he wasn’t touching. My legs weakened, and my pussy trembled around his fingers. He removed them and lifted them to my mouth.
“Open up,” he whispered.
When I opened my mouth, he put his index finger inside, and I greedily sucked my juices off. He then repeated the same action, with his middle finger in his mouth.
“You taste so good, baby.”
He turned me around slowly, pinning me against the wall before cupping my ass and lifting me from the floor. Knox pressed his long, thick dick inside me, stretching it wider.
He had only delivered a few strokes before the buzzing started at my scalp, traveled to my toes, then back up again. I’d barely recovered from the orgasm I’d just had, and he was forcing me into another.
“Knox, please.”
“Please, what, baby? You don’t have to beg.”
“This feels too good. I can’t—I don’t—I’m cummin’!”
I came all over his dick, and not long after, he filled me with his seeds.
After we finally bathed, I changed the sheets while he went to his car, wrapped in a towel, to get his gym bag, where he had some clean clothes. We’d returned to bed, but I wasn’t sleepy, and it seemed neither was he.
“In case you were wondering, the last time I had sex with someone without using a rubber that I provided was when I was sixteen years old, and I get tested every three months.”
This was the most reckless shit I’d done since I was in high school, and I honestly didn’t know what had gotten into me. Not once did a condom cross my mind, and to say that was unlike me would be an understatement.
“You got me beat by about six years,” Knox said.
“What do you mean?”
“The last time I had unprotected sex was about six years ago, but I can do you one better.”
“How so?”
“I haven’t eaten pussy since then either.”
The way he ate my pussy to heaven and back . . . I know he fuckin’ lyin’!
“You ain’t gotta lie, Knox.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“I find it a little hard to believe, but I suppose you don’t have a reason to lie either. Since we’re being honest, I got one that will top yours.”
“Let me hear it.”
“I’ve never sucked dick without a rubber covering it, which means I’ve never swallowed.”
“Never swallowed. That’s blasphemy. I’m glad you believe in being safe, but if my nut ain’t gon’ hit the back of your throat before settling in the pit of your stomach, we can skip that part. You too old not to swallow, Skye.”
“You’re nasty.”
“I am, and ain’t shit you can say or do to make me feel bad about. If you stick around long enough, I’ll show you just how nasty I am.”
We’d had sex no less than six times tonight, and my pussy still had the audacity to thump at his words.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Is pussy on the menu?”
I smacked my lips and rolled my eyes.
“Can you be serious for a second? We fucked our way right through dinner, and my stomach is growling.”
“It’s because you didn’t suck my dick and let my nut settle in the pit of your stomach.”
I gasped before saying, “I’m going to the kitchen.”
I got out of bed, found an oversized T-shirt in one of my drawers, and put it on as I left my room. He eventually followed me, and I noticed he’d covered up that monster between his legs in some boxer briefs.
“All I can feed you at this hour is a turkey sandwich and barbecue chips,” I told him as I removed what I needed to make the sandwiches from the refrigerator.
“There’s something else you can feed me, but I’ll wait until breakfast for that. A turkey sandwich will do for now.”
I’d never be mad at a man who enjoyed dining on my pussy, so I let his comment slide because I didn’t want to say anything to make him think otherwise. He could eat my pussy for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and as a snack in between if his heart desired.
He watched as I sliced four pieces of the sourdough loaf and placed them in the toaster.
While I waited for them to be toasted to perfection, I got two paper plates from the pantry, put them on the counter, and poured some chips for each of us.
When the bread was toasted, I placed two slices on each of our plates.
“You want mayo or honey mustard?” I asked.
“Honey mustard, please.”
I squeezed honey mustard onto our bread and spread it with a knife until it was evenly dispersed. I took some turkey from the package and layered it onto the bread, then asked him what kind of cheese he preferred.
“Cheddar or pepperjack?”
“Cheddar.”
A few minutes later, our sandwiches were ready, topped with lettuce, tomato, and sweet pickles.
“When you said that all you could offer me was a turkey sandwich, I pictured regular bread, mayo, maybe cheese, and that cheap packaged turkey. This is far from regular, and you cut it diagonally,” he said after taking his first bite.
I laughed. “Deli sandwiches are my guilty pleasure, so I want them to be good.”
He nodded his head as he stuffed his mouth with chips. When he finished chewing, he said, “I’m pretty sure this is the best turkey sandwich I’ve ever had. No lie.”
“Thank you.”
We ate in relative silence for a few minutes, but I felt as if there were a few elephants in the room that needed to be addressed.
“So . . .” I began.
“I meant what I said, Skye. Cut them niggas off.”
That wasn’t the elephant I wanted to discuss first, but it was definitely something that needed to be addressed.
“Let’s talk about what we’re doing before—”
“Ain’t shit to talk about, baby. Your pussy, and everything that comes along with it, is mine.”
“But—”
“Skye, we’ve had a good night. Don’t piss me off.”
He bit into his sandwich, and his annoyance was obvious. I thought it was cute and couldn’t stifle the giggle that slipped from my lips.
“You think this shit is a game?” he questioned.
I shook my head. “Not at all, but the way you're reacting is cute, although it could also be a red flag.”
“Red flag? How?”
“You’re not giving me a choice.”
“Baby, you must have amnesia. You made a series of choices tonight that brought us to this moment. I gave you more than one chance to reconsider, but your hot ass wanted to fuck as much as I did, and you didn’t heed my warning.”
“You can’t ask questions like that in the heat of the moment,” I told him.
“Why?”
“Because . . .”
“Because it’s the only way to get you to be honest about your feelings for me.
Let’s cut the shit, Skye. I’ve let you play in my face since the moment we met, when you gave me that bullshit ass line about the universe bringing us back together.
It turns out that line wasn’t bullshit at all, and the universe has brought us back together hundreds of times since our first meeting. You’re just hardheaded.”
“I’m not hardheaded. We didn’t want the same things, and I didn’t think it would be fair to pretend that wasn’t the case.”
He looked at me curiously for a moment, making me nervous because he didn’t say anything at first.
“Didn’t?”
“Didn’t what?”
“You said we didn’t want the same things, instead of saying we don’t want the same things.”
“Oh. I, umm . . .”
“Be real with me, Skye. Has something changed? Speak from your heart, baby.”
I shared with him the feelings I’d been having lately, as well as the conversation I’d had with my mother. He listened intently, without interjecting his thoughts and opinions while I spoke.
“I agree with your mother,” he said when I finished.
“Of course, you do, because it works in your favor.”
“It does, but what she said was real. I know plenty of people, men and women, who I met in my twenties, who swore they’d never get married, never have children, and would never date or marry someone with children.
Yet, five or ten years later, those same people are the happiest they’ve ever been, doing exactly what they swore they would never do.
People change, but ain’t that what life is all about? ”
“I’m finding it very difficult to embrace these new feelings because I’ve felt one way for so long.”
“You’re wasting precious time being loyal to an old version of yourself. You’ve evolved, and you want something different than what she wanted, and that’s okay, baby.”
My mother and Knox had basically said the same thing, but in a different way.
“So . . .”
“Don’t start with that shit again.”
“I never got a chance to say what I wanted to say.”
“What did you want to say?”
“I’m not on any birth control.”
His eyes widened, and a smirk graced his lips.
“And you let me hit it raw . . . multiple times?”
“About that. I can take a Plan B tomorrow—”
“You like playing in my face, but I’m telling you right now, the only plan I want to talk about is a birth plan.”
The smile that graced his face had turned into a frown. His eyes captured mine, and I couldn’t look away.
“Why would you repeatedly let me fill you with my seeds just to turn around and take a fucking Plan B?”
“What I started saying before I was so rudely interrupted was, I can take a Plan B tomorrow if you want, but I really don’t want to.”
“Baby, you know that’s not what I want, and if that’s not what you want, why are we talking about it?”
“Conversation over.”