Chapter 9 #2
I nod. “Yeah, freshman year. She was this gorgeous girl who didn’t know me.
Didn’t know a single thing about my past, and I craved that.
She wanted me for me, you know? One night, when we’d been dating for about a year, we were drinking at a party with some of my teammates, and I spilled my guts to her about my past and told her I loved her.
She said she loved me, too, and that was it.
No pity, no ‘I’m sorry’ with a sad look, just ‘I love you, too, Foster.’”
I let out a humorless laugh. “I was living on cloud nine. Fuck, she was my world, and she didn’t care where I came from.
Another year passed, and we made plans. I was declaring for the draft.
She wanted to go to medical school and was going to follow me and work on her dreams, while I supported us with my salary.
We wanted the house, the kids, the dog, all of it.
She participated in those conversations.
She made plans for us, together. We were both all in, or so I thought. ”
I clear my throat and wish I hadn’t drained my beer, but I’m not stopping.
I need to finish this. “Draft day came. She was by my side. The call came in, and she cried happy tears, or at least, at the time I thought they were happy tears. Hell, maybe they were sad because she knew she was going to end things. Either way, once the celebration died down, it was just the two of us. I was still riding the high of all my hard work paying off, and the love of my life was by my side when it happened. I asked her to marry me that night, and she said no.”
Fuck. I rub at my chest, at the ache that still hovers there at her rejection.
“She didn’t want to be in the spotlight.
She wanted a medical school that wasn’t close to Nashville.
She’d applied and didn’t tell me. I told her we could figure it out, that I would do anything to be with her, but she didn’t want me.
Honestly, I’m not sure if she ever did. I think it was all just an act, one that I fell for like a fool. ”
I laugh bitterly. “Once again, I was rejected. I put myself out there, and she stomped all over my heart. I was pissed. She was there with me through all the planning. She was an active participant. Not once did she show me, tell me, or let me know she wasn’t sure or was having second thoughts.
Her no to my proposal came out of nowhere.
She told me she couldn’t wait to be my wife, and then just no. ”
“Fuck,” Landry mutters.
“I didn’t fight for her. I just… walked away. So many times over the years, I wanted to reach out, but when I looked her up, she seemed happy. She was dating another doctor, and she was living a life we planned without me.” Silence falls around the table. I’m sure I’ve shocked them.
Knox raps his cards on the table, clearing his throat. “I stand by what I said,” Knox tells me. “I believe that you loved her, but I don’t think she was the person you were meant to spend your life with.”
This time, instead of getting defensive, I think about his words.
“I don’t know if you’re right,” I admit.
“I know I loved her. I know that when she said no, it turned my world upside down. I know that, all these years later, I still think about that day. I think about what I did wrong, or what I could have done differently. I didn’t even try, Knox. ”
Knox tilts his head before saying, “You all know about my parents. My mom adopted me, and you all already know how it all came to be. Maybe it’s how I grew up, maybe it’s my love for my wife and son that has me so blinded by what I feel for them, and that’s all I can see.
But I think it’s because life works in mysterious ways.
It has a way of giving you things you never knew you needed or wanted.
” He laughs. “I didn’t see Corie coming.
I mean, sure, that first meeting, I ran into her in the hallway, but that’s not what I mean.
I didn’t know what my life was missing until she crashed into it.
I didn’t know what love meant. I grew up seeing it.
I watched my dad and my uncles love my mom and my aunts.
I knew what it looked like, but I’d never really felt it. Maybe that’s the same for you.”
I open my mouth to rebut his claims, but he holds up his hands.
“You loved her, Foster, that’s obvious, but there are so many different types of love. I think you’ve yet to find your forever love.”
“I wanted her. I needed her,” I say, my voice low and gravelly.
“Yeah, but I think what Knox is trying to say,” Baker says, “is that she didn’t need you in the same way.
A year ago, I would have called bullshit.
I would have said Beckett had lost his mind, that our captain had gone off the deep end, but I lived it.
Sloane was the last person I thought I’d fall in love with.
She’d been in our lives because of Corie and the other ladies for years.
It took us being thrown together to really get to know her.
I wouldn’t have given her, or anyone, the time to do that otherwise.
All I wanted to do was play ball and take care of my son.
Now, all I want to do is see them both smile, and maybe give Cam some siblings. ” He chuckles.
“None of us were looking,” Reid chimes in. “But it found us when we least expected it. I agree with Knox. She’s still out there. The one woman who changes everything.” He smiles, and I know he’s thinking about Bellamy and their daughter, Coral.
“Look at me,” Landry says. “I found my wife, and she accepts me for who I am. I’m sure we can all agree, I was the last person y’all thought would settle down.”
“I don’t know,” Baker muses. “You have a softness to you. Right here.” He rubs his flat abs.
“Fuck off.” Landry laughs. “You know what I meant.”
“So, you think, what? It was just young love, and there’s still someone out there who will look past that? I have no blood relatives, no family to offer her. And there’ll be someone who just accepts me, scars and all?”
“You have a family,” Knox says, his voice stern. “Look around this table, Foster. We are your family. We might not share DNA, but there is more to family than blood. If anyone knows that, it’s me. And your high school coach, and his wife, they chose to be your family.”
“Fuck, I know. That’s not what I meant.”
“We know that, but I need to make sure you understand. I don’t give a fuck who your parents were. I don’t care if you grew up in the woods, eating worms to stay alive, you’re Foster fucking Vaughn, one of my best friends and my brother. Nothing will change that.”
“Uh-oh, he’s using his captain voice,” Landry teases.
That makes us all laugh, and I nod, my gaze meeting each of theirs. I wish I had something profound to say, but there’s a lump lodged in the back of my throat. These guys, my friends, my teammates, my brothers, they are my family. I feel like a fool for not telling them all of this sooner.
I’m not that young kid anymore. I’ve built a life I’m proud of, and I’ve surrounded myself with people who are worthy of my time.
I can’t help but let a little sliver of hope inside my heart that they’re right.
One day, I’ll meet her, the game changer, the one woman whom I’m meant to love for the rest of time, and she’ll accept all of me, just like they have.
I can’t help but wonder if I already have when an image of Eden pops into my mind.
Who am I kidding? Eden’s all I’ve been thinking about lately.