Chapter 26 – Liam
26
LIAM
A fter I take Ellie to the garden center, I decide to put Lucy down for a morning nap and make myself scarce. As much as I would like to help and be around Sophie, I know it’s best if I stare out the window at her instead. I think I am going to really have to work hard at staying just friends with her. I haven’t ever been this enticed by a woman before. I am sure Doc would say that’s because I haven’t let myself, but I don’t think that’s true either. I like to think after all this time, I would have been open to a relationship with the right person.
Is Sophie the right person? I don’t know. I can’t imagine she is ready to be in a relationship with anyone if she’s getting divorced. The sexual tension is obvious, neither one of us can stop looking at each other when we’re together. I know Ellie must see it, but she hasn’t said anything to me—which is very unlike her. I am sure my friends see it too or Miles wouldn’t accuse me of being a cockblock. Speaking of Miles, the very fact that that’s what he called me makes me angry. Just what was he planning to do after a night with Sophie?
My heart twinges as I think about someone hurting her. I wasn’t prepared for the emotions I felt last night, standing in front of our houses. Sophie couldn’t stop touching me. She was running her hands up and down my forearms, touching my chest. When she pulled my neck down and pressed her forehead to mine, I thought I was done. I don’t even know who I am anymore because Old Liam would’ve flung her over my shoulder and carried her to bed, but all I could think about was how she isn’t in the right headspace to go to bed with me. For one, she was totally wasted. I don’t even know if she’d have been that forward with me if she wasn’t. And two, I suspect she couldn’t be ready for anything serious with anyone else given that she’s going through a painful divorce.
Now that I’m home and reflecting in the quiet, I realize how much I don’t know about Sophie. I need to keep my distance, so I don’t move us out of the friend zone, but I also feel an overwhelming desire to protect her. I pick up my phone and look at the muted Perry Street Boys text thread. There are several missed messages that I know I need to respond to.
Danny: Not cool, Liam.
Jack: I wonder if they’re still in bed.
Miles: Liam, you are such a dick.
Danny: Taking Sophie home when you knew Miles wanted her is low even for you, Liam.
Jack: I don’t know, I saw how she was looking at Liam. Maybe Sophie made her choice.
Miles: Shut up Jack.
I groan. I think about how to word this delicately.
Me: Yo. Lay off. I didn’t take her to bed. I took her to her house. She had too much to drink.
Miles: Oh, so you took her to her bed.
Me: No. I didn’t go to bed with Sophie, Miles, and neither should you.
Miles: And just why the fuck not, Liam? You want her? Just say the word and I’ll back off.
Me: Sophie and I are friends.
Miles: Okay then.
Me: No. Not okay. She’s just been through a nasty divorce. You remember what that’s like. And it’s only been a couple of weeks for her. Be her friend.
It takes Miles a few minutes to answer and no one else says anything either, making me think they know I’m right.
Miles: Fair enough. I’m sorry I called you a cockblock.
Me: All good, buddy. Hey, Melanie’s available now.
Miles: Sloppy seconds ain’t my style.
Danny: Can you assholes continue this love fest in a private text? My phone won’t stop vibrating.
I decide not to answer after that, but I do feel better. I think the Miles issue is over for the foreseeable future.
I text Sophie late in the afternoon and we meet out front to walk to the yoga class. Once again, her radiance leaves me momentarily speechless. She’s wearing hot pink workout leggings and a blue sports bra looking top that shows a peek of her midriff. Her hair is piled up on her head and there’s that lip gloss again, driving me wild. She greets me with a big smile. “Ready?” She asks, falling into step beside me.
“I guess so,” I admit. “I hope flow yoga is easier than hot yoga.” I laugh.
She shakes her head vigorously. “Oh, it is. I promise you’ll be fine. You may even relieve some stress.” She elbows me teasingly.
Being with Sophie is so easy, I want to be with her all the time. I can’t help but notice how close she is walking to me, like she did the other night. Our knuckles brush against each other, and I am remembering what it was like to hold her hand. My stomach flutters at the memory of our almost-kiss and my dick moves. I need to distract myself. I take a small step to my right and if Sophie notices, she doesn’t react. I already miss the closeness, but I need to keep my head in the game.
I force my mind out of the gutter. Think about your grandma. Now is not the time. I stifle a cough and catch Sophie looking at me curiously.
“So…are you happy to be living in Cape May?” I blurt. That came out weird.
She raises her eyebrows, and I am sure she’s thinking that I am a moron. “Under the circumstances, not really,” she admits. “I feel like I’m having to start my whole life over again. But I do love it here. I came here every summer weekend as a kid.” She must feel the spring chill because she wraps her arms around herself.
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, really? Did you have a house here?”
“I did. It was my grandparents’ house on Jackson Street. We used to stay there when we visited.” She seems wistful with a faraway look in her eyes. “My parents made friends with some locals and other out-of-towners and we kids would play on the beach until sunset. Then when my mom died, we stopped coming.”
Her revelation throws me off balance. “Oh, Sophie, I’m so sorry.” I want to touch her, god I want to touch her, but I don’t. “I didn’t know your mom died.”
“It’s okay.” She offers me a grim smile. “It was a long time ago.” Her voice drifts off. We stop to wait for a walk signal as we approach the next block.
“What happened to the house?” I ask, genuinely curious whether a developer knocked it down and built two in its place.
“My grandparents sold it. They were getting old and couldn’t manage the upkeep. And it was just too painful for my dad to come visit here anymore. He never saw the house again before it was sold. It’s still there though.” Sophie looks sorrowful, but I am sure that this conversation about her past isn’t easy.
“I know that feeling. My house is the one I grew up in, and my sister Leah’s imprint is on everything. When she died, I started going through her things, but it was so hard for me. My parents went back to Florida, and I got tired of crying every time I looked at her stuff. So now I just ignore it and leave it stacked in my living room taking up space. That may be just as bad.” I smirk.
“Maybe one day I could go through it with you. I think it helps when you have a team. That’s how my brother Simon and I went through the mementos in our house.” She touches my bicep, and I immediately feel heat.
We share a tentative smile as we approach the yoga studio. “I’d really like that,” I tell her, and I mean it.
* * *
This yoga class is much better. The room is dim and cool, but not too cool. The moves are slow and sequential. I feel deeply relaxed when it’s finished, and ready for bed. Being this close to Sophie is a peculiar feeling. I feel bonded to her in a way I cannot explain. I feel as if I have known her my entire life, yet, I don’t even know what hand she writes with. I know the more time I spend with her, the harder it’s going to be to keep my hands to myself.
We walk up to the desk together and the front desk girl is the same, though someone else taught the class, a guy named Russ. He smiles at us.
“Did you enjoy the class?” he asks, looking at Sophie. I instantly feel annoyed by the attention he’s giving her. Check your jealousy, bro.
I am standing behind her and box her in by putting my right hand on the counter. It’s the only way to tell Russ to back the fuck off but still keep my hands to myself. Sophie looks up at me with a curious expression, but her eyes are twinkling.
Here I go again with the mixed signals. I can’t help myself though, Sophie feels like she belongs to me.
“I loved it,” Sophie smiles. “I am so relaxed, I could fall right into bed.”
I wish she could fall right into my bed.
I clear my throat loudly. “Yeah. I liked it too. Is it always at this time?” I ask, shooting Russ a warning look.
“It is.” He laughs nervously. “It’s not always me who teaches it though.”
“These are the class packages.” The desk girl shows us a laminated flier with various tiers of class packages.
Sophie and I agree on a ten-class package each and sign up. When we’re walking home, she gives me a nudge. “What the hell was that, Harper?” She grins.
“What?” I ask her, playing dumb even though I know exactly what she’s talking about.
“I thought we’re just friends? So why did you try to scare away Yoga Man?” She is being direct but smiling at me, so she can’t be too annoyed.
“Yoga man?” I raise my eyebrows and avoid her question.
“I give everyone nicknames.” She laughs and takes a sip of her water, side-eyeing me.
“What is my nickname?” I narrow my eyes at her and smirk.
“Hunkle Liam.” She says it so fast I know she didn’t even have to think about it. “You know…like you’re an uncle, but you’re also a hunk?” She barks out a genuine hearty laugh and covers her mouth.
I have no choice but to laugh with her and roll my eyes. I am so far gone for this girl.
* * *
The next few weeks are considerably quiet. I work for Danny every day, and I’ve picked up two side projects for summer homeowners. I drop Lucy off each morning to Sophie and Ellie. I am so intrigued by Sophie’s every move, but I must put some distance between us if I’m going to behave myself and keep things friendly. The only exception has been our weekly yoga date that’s not a date. We meet out front, walk up to the yoga studio, and walk back, sometimes stopping for a smoothie. I allow myself to enjoy these moments with her, and she seems to enjoy them too.
I am still seeing Doc every week. I kind of let him in on the Sophie stuff. He’s proud of me for respecting boundaries and being a gentleman. Such an old dude. I can feel myself changing for the better. Comfortable in my role as a parent now, I devote all my free time to Lucy. I am working hard on myself so that maybe, when Sophie is ready, I will be too. I feel like she has lived here forever, but it’s only been eight weeks. Now, Memorial Day weekend is approaching, and it will be the official start of summer. I know how busy that time of year gets for me with work, and this is the first summer that I’m parenting Lucy on my own. It’s important for me to stay steady, but all I can think about is that if I let myself, I’d be falling.