Dante
Merry Fucking Christmas.
Ho Ho Ho, and all that shit or whatever.
Christmas alone sucks. Just like it has every other year, I have spent it alone.
The only thing different about this year is Serena and my dumbass is pushing her away. I fully realize that it is the worst thing I could do, but I am a creature of habit. And the last so many years, my habit for Christmas is to ignore the world and drink until I can’t feel my face.
So far, so good. I am just past an enjoyable buzz and fully on my way to drunk. Sitting alone in a winged-back leather chair in front of a roaring fire is something new for me. Usually, I just drink in bed, so if I pass out, I’m already there. But this year, I can’t. Being in that bed only reminds me of Serena, and that makes me want to call her.
I refuse to let my depressed mood ruin her holidays too. She told me that her grandparents flew in to spend the holidays with her, which she was very excited about.
I get up to grab another bottle. My feet stumble underneath me as I walk the five feet to the bar cart. Ok, I guess I skipped tipsy and went straight into drunk.
I grab the first bottle I can, not caring what it is, and tip it straight into my mouth. After a hefty gulp and my throat starting to burn from the alcohol, I pull it away and wipe my mouth with my sleeve.
“Sir.” I turn to see Michael standing by the door.
I look him over, noticing the unusual garb he is wearing. A ridiculously ugly Christmas sweater and jeans. I can’t ever remember a time when I saw him in anything but a tailored suit.
“Shouldn’t you be at home with your family?” I mumble as I walk back to my chair.
“I should… but I made a promise to your father a long time ago and it’s time I keep it.”
I can hear his footsteps approaching me, but I don’t bother looking. I wish he weren’t here. He knows I prefer to be alone today. The first Christmas without my parents, he tried to stay. I threw a priceless antique vase that belonged to my mother at him. Thankfully, he moved out of the way before it hit him. Instead, it hit the wall and smashed into hundreds of pieces.
When that didn’t work in deterring him, I yelled at him until he finally left. After that, I broke down crying. Crying over the loss of my family. Over the stupid vase that I hated, but I knew my mom loved. I spent the rest of the night with super glue trying to piece it back together, but I failed.
A week later, it showed back up, fixed. He never said anything, but I know that Michael was the one behind it. Every year afterwards, I didn’t kick Michael out on Christmas, but he also knew that I needed space.
What was once the happiest childhood memory of mine had become a day of sorrow to me. I never wanted to celebrate again. Opting for drinking until I passed out seemed the best option.
Michael stops in front of me, outstretches his hand to hand me a letter. With a shaky hand, I take it. My father’s name is on the front in handwriting that I don’t recognize.
“Your father asked me to give this to you when I felt like the time was right. Now is the right time.” He places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing affectionately. “Merry Christmas, .”
And with that, he leaves.
I carefully open the envelope and pull out a handwritten note.
My dearest brother,
I want you to know some things. Firstly, I want to apologize for everything I have done to you. I never wanted to hurt you ever. I never wanted to go down the path I did. You did everything you could to protect me growing up. You were the best big brother I could have ever asked for. I just hated feeling trapped in our family. Everyone had a role to play, except me. I felt like I was just here and a burden. Drugs became an escape I didn’t know I wanted or needed. Eventually, I couldn’t stop. I am sorry.
I want you to know everything that happened to me. I went to a party and met a dealer. He was attractive and charismatic. He showed me a good time and I didn’t want to lose that. I spent all my free time with him and eventually one night, he raped me. Then it kept happening. He would get me so high and rape me.
It broke a part of me I didn’t know I had. He hurt me. He took everything from me, especially when I got pregnant. Yes, I got pregnant. It wasn’t until after I found out I was pregnant that I learned he had a girlfriend. She left him, and he blamed me. He hated me and wasn’t shy about telling me that. He would hit me, beat me, abuse me however he could, that wouldn’t affect the pregnancy.
I have a son. I named him Massimo. He is so beautiful. He reminds me a lot of as a newborn. His father gave him another name, Midas. A name fit for a king. I tried to argue, but he wouldn’t listen to me. Said his son had to have the name of a king because one day he was going to rule.
I think he is planning something against you, Antonio. I think he plans on using my son as a way to get to you. I don’t know if I am just making this up, or if it’s true, but I want you to know now so you can prepare if you need to.
There is something else I need you to know. I overheard Zane, Ryker, and Axel speaking the other night. They were talking about Dimitri and trying to ally with them. They were speaking of all these horrible things they have done and are going to do to build trust between them. The most disgusting thing I heard was them talking about kidnapping and raping a young girl. I didn’t catch a name, but they were bragging about “how tight her 15-year-old pussy” is. I wanted to puke when I heard that.
They also spoke of someone named Pops. I don’t know who that is, but they talked about how to get rid of them. They want to kill that person. I hope you can help whoever that is and give him some sort of protection.
I know you don’t get involved with other gangs, but they were saying some horrible things about this man. Something to do with revenge against the girl who hurt them. I am guessing Pops is related to the girl Zane was seeing before she left.
Zane and I got into a huge fight last night. I threatened to leave and take my son with me. He told me that he would kill me slowly if I ever tried. He would search every corner of the earth for me if I tried. I will never be free of him. I know I won’t be.
I wanted to keep my son, but it’s not possible. Zane will come after me if I take Massimo with me. The only way I can be free is if I leave my son and take off. I don’t know where I will go or how I will survive, but I will figure something out.
Please, Antonio, take care of my son as much as you can. Do whatever you can to protect him. I don’t trust Zane. I know he is capable of doing unspeakable things. I also know he will turn my son into a mini version of him if he is the only one to raise him.
I don’t know what you can do to help, but promise me you will figure it out.
I love you, Antonio. I wish I didn’t have to go. I wish I could stay with you, but I don’t want you to have a target on your back. If Zane is working with Dimitri, I know things will only get worse for you.
I am sorry for being a failure in our family. Tell Mama and Papa that I love them, and I am sorry. Don’t tell them about Massimo. I don’t want to hurt them more than I already have. It would break their hearts to know how much of a coward I am for abandoning my son the way I did.
-Caterina
I reread the letter multiple times as my drunk brain tried to comprehend what I was reading. Midas is my cousin. My fucking cousin. How the fuck is that possible? Well, I know how, but gross. Midas is the son of my aunt.
My head starts to swim as a million thoughts and questions start to swirl. Midas is my cousin, and I have hated him for years. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to watch him bleed out in front of me while I laughed. But he is like me. The victim of a madman that he couldn’t escape from. I keel over, expelling everything in my stomach.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My aunt wrote this letter to my father, wanting him to know the truth. It explains so much. This is why Midas and the others came around when I was a kid. I always assumed it was to start an alliance, but it was to uphold a promise to his sister. He wanted to keep her son safe.
I’m guessing he also wanted to keep a closer eye on Zane after what my aunt said about him. She knew that he had been starting to form an alliance with Dimitri eighteen years ago. This has been going on a lot longer than any of us knew.
This letter changes everything. I... I need to tell Serena. I need to tell Midas. I search around for my phone, but it is nowhere in sight. Right, I turned it off and left it in my room.
The one thing that is for certain, I have to keep the promise my father made to my aunt.
I get up, readying myself to drive to Fallingbrook and confront Midas with the truth now, but my feet give out on me again and I fall face-first into the vomit on the floor. I groan out in disgust as I peel myself off the floor and wipe the chunky goop from my face.
Ok, so driving is a bad idea. Too drunk for that.
First thing tomorrow morning, I will drive out there and demand he speak to me. He will have to. I am Lupo, the leader of the Shadow Brotherhood, a syndicate of the Italian Mafia, and no one says no to me. Yes. That is it. A solid plan that has no way of failing.
There is nothing else I can do tonight, so I might as well get back to my Christmas tradition. Drink until I pass out.
A small shred of hope starts to fill my chest. Another small piece of an endless puzzle has been filled. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.
Family had always been important to me, and it kills me to know now that I could have killed my cousin because of a grudge. A grudge that I rightfully deserve to have. Zane, Ryker, and Axel have taken too much from me, and to know they have taken even more just seals their fate.
They will die for what they have done to the Lupo familia.
I wake the next morning with a splitting headache. Being hungover is never something I like to experience, but every year I do. I don’t remember getting to bed last night, but somehow, I stumbled my way up here. I had zero intentions of sleeping in here, but even blitzed off my ass I can’t stay away from the place I had my darling sprawled out on.
I roll over, wanting to go back to sleep, when something crinkles beside me. The letter my aunt wrote to my dad is lying on the bed next to me. I reread it for what feels like the hundredth time. If Midas is my cousin, that changes a lot of things. Not everything, but enough. The only thing is I need to make sure that he is before anything else can happen. I somehow need to get a DNA sample from him and have it tested. Once the results come in, and it is positive, I can make the next appropriate steps.
He deserves to know the truth about his mom. I can remember him talking about her when we were younger. He knew nothing about her. Not her name. What she looked like. Nothing. It tore him up for a long time. I have the responsibility to help if I can.
For now, this stays with me. Once I am ready to deal with this, he will know. Until then, I go about my business like usual. I can’t tell Serena until then either. If she knew, he would know and start a whole new problem for me.
I don’t understand why Michael thought now was the time to give it to me. It’s been five years since my parents' deaths. Why not give it to me then? Stop the years of hatred and resentment I felt towards them. I would have wanted to get my revenge on their dads no matter what, but it would have saved them from my ire. Hell, I have shot at them before and they to me.
Fuck.
First step today, take a shower. I wreak of something disgusting. Then, speak to Michael and get some answers. After that, who knows.