Chapter 30 Chaos
Chaos
I’ve spent my fair share of time in hospitals. Patch is good at fixing brothers up, but sometimes the damage is worse than we can handle at the clubhouse, and we end up in the hospital. Lying to the cops about bullet wounds and getting side-eyed by the people in the waiting room.
I’ve spent plenty of time pacing the halls, listening to the beep of machines, and wondering if someone’s time is up.
Some of my worst memories are in places like this. Like when Willa backed away from me outside the door to her mother’s hospital room in this very building and told me she chose my brother.
But I don’t leave this time. I can’t.
I pace the blue-and-white checkered linoleum, my boots squeaking every time I turn. I can’t sit. I can’t rest. This is why I stopped thinking I deserved anything good.
My lifestyle brings nothing but trouble.
It brings nothing but death.
“You want a coffee, brother?” Venom stands against the wall, watching me walk back and forth.
“No.”
“Breakfast?”
I shake my head, and he glances at Soul, neither of them saying anything before Venom disappears toward the coffee stand.
“She’s gonna be all right,” Soul says, trying to be reassuring for the tenth time this hour.
“You don’t know that.”
“I know she’s tough enough to put up with your difficult ass. If she can survive you, she can survive anything.”
I glare at him, and he shrugs, not apologizing.
I wish it was that simple. Willa is a ball of strength and perseverance, but I’ve seen more stubborn men succumb to injuries half as bad as hers. All I can do now is hope the doctors do their job. I refuse to lose her.
The doctor turns the corner, and Soul lifts off the wall. He takes in our cuts, slowing his pace at our approach. But he doesn’t seem put off like some people are when they realize we’re in a motorcycle club. Probably because I’ve known Nate since we were kids.
“How is she?”
“You know I’m only supposed to report to family, Dean.” He frowns. “Her dad’s not here yet.”
“If he shows up, I’ll put a bullet in his head before I let him set foot in that room.”
A couple beside us stares, so Nate turns us away from them while Soul tries to explain I was just joking.
I wasn’t.
“You can’t just walk around threatening that kind of thing around here,” Nate says. “You know that. Small town.”
“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise.” And my patience has run out. “Now tell me how she’s doing.”
Willa’s blood has dried on my shirt and jeans, painting a picture I refuse to erase until I know she’s okay. I’ve never seen her cheeks so pale. Her eyes so empty. Blood gushed from her side, and I held her like I’d sacrifice my soul to put it back.
I’d give up anything for more time—even the ranch.
I’ve been so distracted that I haven’t yet told her what I want when all this is said and done. How I need her in my life, no matter how that looks. We’ve put off discussing us, and now, I may never get the chance.
Nate frowns. “I can’t—”
“She’s my fucking wife, all right?” I lie, not missing that Soul’s eyebrows lift at my declaration.
Doesn’t matter. She might as well be. That’s what I intend to make her if we get through this. I don’t just want Willa wearing my name on her back. I want her to be mine in every sense of the word. Legally, spiritually. In this life and every other.
“Your wife?” Nate hitches an eyebrow, and I sense he knows I’m lying, but he goes with it anyway. “She’s out of surgery, and she’s in a recovery room. Everything went well. The bullet didn’t hit anything vital. She should make a quick recovery.”
The tension in my shoulders loosens with his words. “When can I go see her?”
“As soon as she’s a little more stable. The nurse will come get you.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
He nods, turning to walk away. And finally, I drop into one of the chairs in the waiting room, my legs giving out beneath me.
She’s going to be okay.
She’s going to be okay.
How many times do I need to think it before it sinks in?
Soul drops into the chair beside me, shoving my shoulder. “Told you she’d pull through this.”
“Forgive me if I don’t trust your expert medical opinion.” I roll my eyes at Soul as Venom walks up.
He hands Soul his coffee and sits at my other side. “I’m guessing the doc had good news.”
“She’s in recovery now.”
“Good.” He nods. “Still no idea who did it?”
“No. Did you guys tell Steel?”
“You asked us not to.”
“Thanks.” I nod, pulling out my phone.
When everything happened, Soul and Venom met me at the hospital. It was a whirlwind of shit happening, and while I know Steel needs to know about it, I wanted him to hear it from me once I knew the outcome. Especially when I have a feeling it’s going to escalate our war with Zane in Vegas.
Tate and Kincaid were with their lawyer when Willa was shot. And as horrible as her father is, I doubt he’d try to kill her. Which means someone must have followed us from Vegas.
Steel answers the phone on the second ring. “What’s wrong?”
“Who says anything’s wrong?” I drag my fingers through my hair.
“You don’t call unless something’s wrong.”
“Fair enough.” I let out a deep sigh. “Willa’s been shot. I think Zane might have had someone follow us. I wanted you to know so you can keep an eye out.”
“Fuck. Is she okay?”
“She will be.” I ball my hand into a fist, reminding myself that she’s still here.
I haven’t lost her.
“Surgery went well. The doc says she’ll wake up soon.”
“I should send a couple more guys out.”
“No.” I shake my head. “We’ve got it covered here. Soul and Venom are at the hospital, and we’re watching each other’s backs. I shouldn’t have let her out of my sight. That was my fault. It won’t happen again.”
“You sure? It’s been quiet here, so we’re good if you need more bodies.”
“That’s probably what they’re counting on. Zane must figure that if he causes trouble in Texas, it will split the club’s resources and make it easier to pick us off.”
“You’re right. I hate it, but you’re right.”
I wipe my hand down my face. “We’ve got this under control on this end.
Whoever did it ran off when I showed up, so they clearly don’t have backup.
The three of us can take care of one person.
Also, I put out a few calls to the people who owe me favors in this town.
There are eyes on the hospital and the ranch. I’ll know if anything seems off.”
That’s the good thing about small towns. Nothing goes unnoticed.
“Let me know if you change your mind. We’re here for you,” Steel says.
“I appreciate it. How’s Tempe doing?”
Steel chuckles.
“What?”
“You’re asking about my old lady. Willa really is bringing out another side of you.”
“Fuck off.” I chuckle.
“Tempe’s good, much better this past week. You just worry about things there. I’ve got it handled here.”
“Thanks, Prez.”
We hang up, and I stare out the window that overlooks the parking lot. The sun peeks over the horizon.
When was the last time I looked at a sunrise? I’m awake for plenty of them. Stumbling out of the strip club first thing in the morning. Partying until one day melts into another.
But I stopped caring about things like a sunrise. Or anything for that matter. After I left Texas, I chased one high after another. Anything so I wouldn’t have to sit still and think about what I was doing with my life.
Soul and Venom sit quietly, scrolling through their phones. Not making conversation, but not leaving either. I’m grateful that they rode to Texas even though I told them not to bother. Sometimes I forget that people can be there for me—that they’d even want to.
“Mr. Graham.” A nurse cradles her clipboard. “Ms. Elliott is stable if you want to see her now.”
Soul plants a hand on my shoulder, nodding before I walk away.
The hallway stretches with every step as the nurse leads me to Willa’s room. Ventilators hiss, and machines beep. I try not to revisit all my bad memories of this place. Mom’s endless cancer treatments, Willa’s mom dying. This building is practically haunted.
When I step into Willa’s hospital room, my stomach clenches. It doesn’t smell like her in here. She doesn’t look like her—so small on the bed. Willa might be a tiny girl, but her smile fills the whole room. Her attitude is endless.
She’s as bright as the sun, but this room is nothing but dull.
The nurse leaves me, and I pull a chair to the side of the bed. Willa’s eyes are closed, but they flutter when I brush my fingers over the back of her hand.
“Dean?” She says my name before her gaze finds me.
Like she seeks me out before she’s fully awake or even realizes what she’s looking for.
Her small fingers twitch beneath mine as she rolls her head to the side. Her gray eyes land on me, and the corner of her mouth curls.
“You’re here.” Her voice is hoarse and whispered.
“Nowhere else I’d rather be.” I thread my fingers through hers, pulling her hand to my lips to kiss the back of it. “How are you feeling, princess?”
“Like I’ve been shot.” Her nose scrunches.
I chuckle. “I bet.”
“Let me guess, you know what that’s like?”
“Been shot a couple of times, and I can honestly say it was nothing compared to seeing you hit.”
“Because you’re big and tough and can handle it better than I can?”
“No, Willa. Because when a bullet hits me, it’s just piercing flesh and bone. But you’re my fucking heart.”
She blinks, and her eyes turn glassy. “That’s tragically romantic.”
“Don’t look so surprised.” I grin.
Willa lets out a little laugh, but her smile quickly fades to a frown. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.” I stand to kiss her forehead, and she pulls me closer, so I sink down onto the bed, cradling her in my arms. “I was so fucking scared that I’d lost you. I’ve never been scared of shit. But seeing you like that…”
I hug her tighter while she wipes the underside of her eyes. I don’t think twice about the damage my world causes me because I can survive it. But to see all this affecting Willa. My club’s war. My battle for my family’s land. Is it worth anything if I lose her?
What’s the end goal here?
“You don’t need to worry about me.” She brushes a finger over the wrinkle between my furrowed brows. “I’m still here. It’s going to take a lot more than a bullet to keep me away from you now.”
“Like I’d let you go if you tried.”
A smile creeps up her cheeks, brightening them. I pull her wrist to my lips, kissing it. Breathing her in.
“I went and saw my father today,” she whispers, and my whole body stiffens.
“You what?”
“Don’t get all protective. I had to do it on my own.”
“Considering you’re in the hospital, I think it’s fair that I’m feeling a little protective.”
She frowns, not arguing. And as angry as I am that she didn’t tell me she went to see her dad, I understand. There are some things we can face together. But sticking up for herself with her family is something she needs to do on her own if she’s going to reclaim the power he took from her.
“How did it go?” I ask, trying to be supportive.
“As good as it could, I guess. I honestly forgot I could stand up to him. You reminded me I’m stronger than that.”
“Glad I bring out your feisty side.” I grin.
“You do.” She giggles when I nip her ear. “Dad tried to hang you over my head and threaten me with my mom like he always does, but I think even he knows now it’s pointless. I told him I’m done. I’m leaving with you, and there’s nothing he can do to stop me.”
“You want to move to Vegas?”
As much as I’ve been hoping to hear those words, I want her to be ready.
“I made arrangements for Nightmare to be moved to Harloe’s family’s ranch. They’ll take care of her.” Willa presses her lips together, watching me nervously. “I know we haven’t talked about it. But I want to be where you are, even if it is a little fast and maybe a little reckless. Is that okay?”
“That’s fucking perfect.” I press a kiss to her lips.
There’s no limit to how much I need her. I could drown myself in this girl, and still I’d want more.
“I love kissing you,” I mumble against her mouth, and she smiles.
“I love kissing you too.” Her fingers wrap around the back of my head, and she pulls me in again, claiming me in every corner of my soul with her kiss.
When we pull apart, I press my forehead to hers.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I ask. “For all the shit the club brings. Look where you are, Willa. I need to know.”
“Was the person who shot me doing it to get back at your club?”
“Seems that way.”
She pulls back, her lips pursing. “It doesn’t scare me if that’s what you’re asking. There are dangers living here too. You know that.”
“Yeah, but dangers on the ranch aren’t the same as they are with the club. Our enemies have no limits, Willa. I don’t like the thought of you being in that world.”
“Are you trying to find an excuse to break up with me?” Fear flashes in her eyes. “Not that we’re together necessarily.”
“We’re as together as it gets, princess.” I tip her chin up, brushing my lips over hers. “And hell no, I’m not trying to break us up. But the club is who I am. They’re my family. But—”
“I know, Dean. They’re important to you.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I’ve lost you once, Willa. That’s not happening again. You want to come to Vegas? I’ll make sure you feel like it’s your home. You want to stay in Texas? I’ll move my ass back here. My club is my life, but you’re my home. All that matters is you.”
Willa plants her hand over my heart. “I told you, Dean. I see you. All of you. And I accept every part, including your club. I’d never ask you to leave them. We’ll figure it out.”
She makes it sound so simple, and maybe it is. Balance has never been something I’ve been good at. I’m all in. Full force. I don’t pump the brakes or split my focus.
But now—
“One step at a time,” she says, like she senses me overthinking.
She closes her eyes and rests her head on my shoulder.
“One step at a time,” I repeat.
For the first time in a long time, I’m excited to take it.