Chapter Eight
Percy had needed that release. Now he was boneless and relaxed, ready to crawl onto the bed and sleep for the next quadrillion hours. Tonight hadn’t exactly gone as planned.
His emotions felt like he’d tossed them into a blender and hit the turbo button. Now he was exhausted, physically and emotionally drained. He’d been fine getting ready, and even riding on Santiago’s motorcycle.
It was the moment Percy headed toward the bar that he’d had an overwhelming urge to leave. Like he wasn’t supposed to be there. The longer he’d talked with the bartender, the more it had felt as if the walls of the club were shrinking.
“Ready?”
Percy blinked several times to clear his thoughts, Santiago’s deep, seductive voice helping to ground him. “For what?”
“My wolf,”
he murmured into Percy’s ear, causing him to shiver.
If Santiago kept using that radio voice to talk seductively to him, Percy would do whatever the hell the guy wanted.
“I’ll know who you are, carino . I’m cognizant in my animal forms.”
His warm breath slid over Percy’s skin, making the moment feel much more intimate.
“Do it.”
Wait. Why had he said that? Good grief. His mind was literally melting in Santiago’s presence.
The solid heat disappeared from his back. Percy turned in time to see Santiago slide his underwear off. His brain once again shorted out. They both just gotten off, yet Percy’s cock was twitching with excitement.
Santiago winked. “No more distractions, carino .”
With a huff, Percy crossed his arms. “ No estoy tocando el vacío .”
I’m not touching the vacuum.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Santiago was clearly fighting not to laugh. “Thank goodness I don’t need any housekeeping done.”
Percy narrowed his eyes. “You are not going to trick me into thinking my Spanish isn’t flawless, buster.”
But doubt started to creep in. Percy couldn’t think of a reason Santiago would mock him. The guy had been nothing but sweet and… sexy as shit. Damn, that body was incredible on a Greek god level.
Santiago dropped to all fours, muscles rippling as his spine arched with an unnatural bend. A low growl rumbled from deep within him as dense fur erupted over his skin in a seamless wave, coating him in shades of gray that shimmered like brushed steel under the dim light. His face elongated, bone structure shifting as his nose darkened and stretched into a powerful muzzle. Razor-sharp canines jutted from his widening jaws, a glint of menace in every inch. Thick claws pierced through his fingertips as his hands became broad, padded paws. Behind him, a bushy tail unfurled, sweeping low with quiet wag.
Percy inhaled sharply, staggering back and slamming into the wall as a massive gray wolf stood before him.
Don’t pass out. Breathe slowly. It’s Santiago, except he’s a furry wolf instead of a man.
“I’m freaking out!”
He placed his hand over his heart, taking in the sight of the plush fur.
It was also the size of a freaking pony.
And not a bear. Damn it. Percy would’ve bet everything he’d been right.
The wolf lowered to the floor then slowly scooted forward.
“You’ve lost your gorgeous mind if you think I’m petting you.”
Then why was Percy lowering to a crouch? Because clearly I’m still an idiot who acts first and thinks… much, much later.
Biting his lip, Percy reached out, wincing and praying he’d still have a hand when he pulled it back. His fingers sank into soft fur, the coat thick and beautiful.
The wolf licked Percy’s arm.
“Keep that tongue to yourself. I’m barely hanging on to my sanity as it is.”
He smirked. “What big teeth you have, grandma.”
He wasn’t quoting verbatim, but who gave a shit?
Why on earth was he joking about those bone crushers anyway?
Sinking to the floor, Percy crossed his legs. The wolf moved close enough to lay its head on Percy’s lap, staring up at him like it was a good doggie who just wanted to be petted.
“Okay, so maybe you’re a little cute.”
He scratched under the wolf’s chin, thankful the sharp canines were tucked inside its mouth. He stroked his hand down the wolf’s back, gliding his fingers through the silky pelt as the wolf turned over, showing its belly, tongue hanging from the side of its mouth.
Percy chuckled. “Like getting petted, don’t you?”
He grinned. “Who’s a good boy?”
The wolf’s tongue disappeared, its head cocking as if to say, “You did not just say that.”
“If I’m braving getting to know your massive wolf, I can say whatever I want. Deal with it, furball,”
he huffed.
His head snapped around at the sound of the doorbell. It was late. Who on earth could be at Santiago’s door at this hour?
The wolf pulled away, then shifted back into a very naked man. Nope, not going to fall back into lust. Instead, Percy glanced down at his lap, frowning at all the fur on his clothes and wishing he had a lint brush.
Santiago dressed, but his gaze kept straying to Percy.
“Yes, I liked your wolf,”
Percy admitted. “It needs a good brushing though. I look like I’m the one transforming.”
He swept at his legs, but it felt useless. The hair made it look like he was wearing fur pants.
Santiago gave him a quick kiss. “You can brush me anytime, carino .”
A warm flutter spread through Percy, feeling overwhelmed at times at Santiago’s sentiments. Heat crept over his face as he shoved at the man’s arm, unsure how to respond.
Which was rare for him.
The doorbell rang again, echoing through the quiet house. Santiago grabbed his phone, tapped the screen a few times, then sighed.
Turning the device, Percy saw Elijah standing on the porch, arms crossed, foot tapping. Behind him was Matias, who gazed at Elijah like the guy was his moon and stars.
Percy had caught Santiago staring a time or ten at him in the same way, like when he’d come out of the house, ready to go to Flare. Ever since the arrest, it had been on the tip of Percy’s tongue to tell Santiago that he loved him, but he always held back.
Like now. Those three little words sat in his chest like an ache, surging upward, only to become wedged in his throat. Fighting the urge to say them, Percy hurried from the room, Santiago hot on his heels. He almost stumbled down the stairs trying to get away from wolf boy and his internal tug-of-war.
“Don’t you dare answer that door,”
Santiago growled out behind him.
Spinning around, Percy gaped at his demand. “But we know who’s on the other side!”
Chill. The. Fuck. Out. Percy felt like he was spiraling, only for a different reason that could be summed up with three little words. Nope. He was not going to say them. He was still trying to work through his trauma, and declaring his love when he knew he wasn’t ready made him feel like he was truly going insane.
If he didn’t pull his shit together, Santiago would call him on his obvious panic, and Percy was not ready to have that discussion.
He looked toward the door so Santiago couldn’t see the panic in his eyes, waiting for him to let Elijah and Matias in.
“Are you okay, carino ?”
“Fine.”
He crossed his arms, digging his fingers in, desperate for his best friend’s distraction. “Gonna make them wait all night?”
As Santiago passed him, he gazed at Percy, his brows furrowed.
“Door?”
he said before Santiago could ask again.
With a shake of his head, Santiago answered it. Elijah immediately marched inside, blowing past Santiago. “I needed to check on you.”
Still feeling like the words would tumble out at any second, Percy grabbed Elijah’s hand and… He glanced around, wondering where the kitchen was located. They’d been neighbors for over two months, yet this was the first time Percy had been in Santiago’s home.
To hell with it. They would wander around until they found the room. The doorway on the right proved to be the kitchen. Just showed how much Percy had paid attention when he’d come downstairs. He hadn’t even noticed it.
“What’s going on?”
Elijah pulled his hand free, then went straight for the fridge, rummaging around for food while Percy felt like he was falling apart piece by small piece.
“Sure, make yourself at home.”
He leaned casually against the counter, his eyes darting around the room. Why had he envisioned Santiago’s kitchen much bigger? Maybe because the man himself was huge. The room was more narrow than wide, with a cozy two-seater table nestled at the far end, framed by four slender windows that allowed fragments of moonlight to spill in. He could see himself sitting there with Santiago in the morning, sharing breakfast and scrolling through their phones like an old married couple.
The cupboards were elegant, crafted from dark-stained wood, the central panels made of frosted glass. The fridge Elijah was currently pillaging was a sleek, black stainless side-by-side that sat next to a… Percy frowned. What kind of stove was that? It appeared to be one of those flat electric models, yet it lacked the familiar circles where pots and pans should rest, leaving him puzzled.
“Seeing as how I haven’t eaten tonight, I’m starving.”
Elijah came away with a plastic container of grapes. He nudged the refrigerator door shut with his hip, then followed Percy’s curious gaze. “Oh cool. That’s one of those induction stoves.”
Percy had no idea what that meant. “I’ve got bigger issues.”
Elijah leaned next to him, popping a grape into his mouth. “Lay it on me.”
The two had been friends since forever, and always talked openly. But ever since Percy had been locked in that shed, he’d found it hard to talk about even the simplest things with Elijah. With anyone, including his mom.
It felt like he was floating aimlessly, adrift in a world that no longer made any sense to him. How could he tell Santiago he loved him if Percy didn’t even feel grounded most of the time?
He shoved off the counter, pacing the length of the kitchen. The words bubbled up, pressing against his lips, begging for release. He parted his mouth, sucked in a breath, then snapped it shut again.
Still munching on grapes, Elijah watched him with a puzzled frown. “Dude, just spill it. Whatever it is, it’s clearly eating you up inside.”
Percy raked a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands. “I...I think I love him, Elijah. Like, really love him. But…everything still feels so messed up inside me.”
Eyes wide, Elijah set the grapes aside and moved closer, grasping Percy’s shoulders. “Whoa, okay. Take a breath.”
He waited until Percy inhaled shakily. “That’s huge, man. Huge. But you gotta go at your own pace here. There’s no rush.”
“It’s just... I feel so lost, Elijah. Like I don’t even know who I am anymore or how to navigate my own life.”
He pinned Elijah with his gaze. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if I’m moving too fast?”
He threw his hands up. “I don’t know if I’m even ready for that kind of commitment.”
“Too late for that,”
Elijah muttered before tossing a grape into his mouth. “Look, Percy, that man is head over heels for you. A blind person could see it from a mile away.”
He gave Percy a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
The little pep talk hadn’t helped. Percy had been checking in with someone who knew the pre-trauma version of him, hoping that version wasn’t gone forever. But Elijah, as helpful as he tried to be, left Percy feeling even more lost than before.
Sometimes comfort didn’t fix the broken bits. It just poked at them.
“Thanks,”
Percy said, feeling compelled to say something.
“Anytime.”
They headed back out to the living room, where Santiago and Matias were engaged in quiet conversation. Santiago’s eyes immediately found Percy’s, a flicker of concern in their hazel depths. Percy offered him a small, reassuring smile. He wasn’t okay, not by a long shot.
Santiago crossed to him, slipping an arm around his waist and tugging him close. He pressed a kiss to Percy’s temple. “Everything all right, carino ?”
“Ask me that one more time and I’ll give you a flea bath.”
He pulled from Santiago’s arms and headed toward the door. “I’m going home. I’ll talk to you guys later.”
Before anyone could say a word, Percy was out the door, down the porch steps, and was sprinting across his front lawn. Maybe he would wake up with some answers, because right now, he was as lost as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.
* * * *
Yawning deeply and holding a cup of coffee, Percy carefully pushed open the screen door, comforted by the familiar creak.
He was determined not to think about the scene he’d walked in on last night. The same scene he’d walked by just now. Suero dozing upright on his couch and Percy’s mom resting her head on the guy’s lap.
Shoving the thought aside, he wondered how he was even awake after just two hours of sleep. He glanced up at the sky as he stood by the steps, feeling at peace. The sun was just beginning to rise, painting vibrant colors across the dense storm clouds.
As Percy took his first sip, he stiffened.
“Morning.”
Santiago lounged on the porch swing, one arm draped casually over the backrest. He wondered if the guy had slept at all or had been sitting there since Percy hurriedly left his house earlier that morning.
“Not letting me run, huh?”
He sipped his coffee, feeling both conflicted and reassured by Santiago’s presence.
“Is that what you really want, Percy, to run?”
Santiago leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, causing the swing to creak under his massive weight.
Percy pressed his lips together, watching a blue jay hop around the grass in his front yard. He glanced down at the latte-colored coffee in his cup. “I don’t know what I want anymore, Santiago,”
he admitted, shaking his head slowly. “Actually, I take that back. I just want to be the person I once was.”
Santiago patted the spot beside him. Without hesitation, Percy sat down, tucking his legs beneath him.
“You’ll never be that person again, carino .”
He raised a finger as Percy began to speak. “You’re still you, just a different version of yourself.”
“What if I don’t want the upgrade?”
Percy asked.
Santiago’s expression softened. “You need to find a way to blend the two, to discover who this new Percy is and what he wants from life.”
“You,”
he blurted out before he realized it. Once again, he studied his coffee, hating how lost he felt. Two hours of sleep hadn’t helped, especially when all he’d done was toss and turn.
Santiago’s hand, resting on the back of the swing, toyed with the ends of Percy’s hair. “As much as I love hearing you say that, what do you want, hon?”
“That’s just it!”
Percy slid his hand down his face. “I have no idea. Before Tito, my only issue was my dad. Even though I’m wise enough to be afraid of him, he’d never made me fear for my life. But Tito, in less than two hours, changed me in ways I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover from.”
He nestled Percy into the crook of his arm, and Percy sank into him, feeling like he could finally breathe again. He absorbed the man’s warmth and strength, taking whatever he needed to steady himself.
“Then this is the perfect opportunity to set new goals.”
Using the arm wrapped around Percy, Santiago traced his fingers along Percy’s neck and jaw. “And you know the best part?”
There was a best part in this wreckage? “No.”
Santiago gently lifted Percy’s chin, encouraging him to look up at him. “You don’t have to figure it out all at once. You can even change your goals if you want.”
Percy gasped. “What kind of witchcraft is this? Change one’s goals? That’s unheard of.”
Santiago chuckled, the sound as soothing as the distant rumble of thunder.
“But you need to stop hiding your spirals, carino . We can’t move forward, or even get knocked back a step, if you don’t tell me when it happens.”
That was the problem. Percy was afraid Santiago would grow weary of dealing with his instability. They were so frequent that even Percy struggled to keep up with them. They struck him out of nowhere, making it hard to pinpoint when they were going to happen.
“I won’t grow tired of them,”
Santiago murmured.
Percy raised an eyebrow. “Are you a mind reader now?”
A slow smile spread across Santiago’s handsome face, causing his eyes to twinkle. “I just know mi elegido very well.”
They looked up as the screen door creaked open. Suero stepped out, yawning and stretching.
“Have a good time with my mom last night?”
Percy shot him a glare.
Suero stiffened as he looked their way. The prick had the nerve to lightly blush.
Macey was an adult, and her personal life was her own business. But Percy… Absolutely not. In his mind, his mother didn’t have sex. He was born by immaculate conception.
“What in the hell is that blush about?”
Percy narrowed his eyes as Santiago tightened his hold on him.
“Chill that shit.”
Suero curled his lip, causing Santiago to give a low growl. “I just babysat, perrito .”
“With my mom snuggled up on your goddamn lap.”
Percy tried to get up, but Santiago kept him pinned firmly by his side.
Macey appeared in the doorway, her hair a mess. “That’s enough, Percy. We just pigged out on junk food and watched bad movies.”
That was something Percy and his mom did together at least once a week. Not Macey and Suero.
“Not that I have to explain myself, but we’re just friends. More like a mother-son dynamic than whatever you’re imagining,”
she said, causing Suero to give her an odd look.
“I’m your—”
Percy began, but Santiago’s firmer grip and slight head shake stopped him.
Fine, Percy would stay quiet, but only because he sensed Santiago was trying to convey something important to him.
“Thanks for last night.”
Suero gave Macey a playful wink.
“What the hell does that mean?”
Percy yelled as Suero descended the steps and headed toward his motorcycle parked at the curb. “Come back here and explain yourself, you—”
Santiago placed a beefy hand over Percy’s mouth, but even muffled, Percy continued to speak. That was his mom, and in his eyes, no one would ever be good enough for her.
“That was rude,”
Macey said to him. “Suero was the perfect gentleman. You owe him an apology. I am allowed to make friends, or is that privilege reserved only for you? No offense, Santiago.”
She stormed back into the house with a huff, leaving Percy at a loss for words. His mom had never spoken to him so sharply before.
“How am I the villain here?”
He glanced from the door to the street where Suero was riding away, the roar of his motorcycle loud in the morning’s peace.
“He’s not interested in Macey,”
Santiago said. “He’s gay. He just sees your mom as a maternal figure, something he didn’t have growing up.”
Well, shit. “Why didn’t you mention this before I embedded my foot deep inside my mouth?”
Percy didn’t mind sharing Macey, as long as it was in a motherly way. She was the best mom a guy could ask for—loving, caring, and able to put anyone at ease.
Anything beyond a motherly role? Not an option.
“You didn’t give me a chance,”
Santiago pointed out as large raindrops began to fall. “They probably just hit it off last night.”
Now Santiago sounded disappointed in him. So much for a quiet morning with my coffee. “Can you tell him I’m sorry?”
Santiago shrugged. “It would mean more coming from you.”
Percy stood. “I think I need more sleep.”
“Need a body pillow?”
The way Santiago asked, Percy was melting. Every time he used that radio voice, Percy was ready to give him whatever he wanted.
“Sleep only,”
he warned, giving Santiago a look that said he’d better behave.
Santiago rose from the swing, towering over Percy. “? Esperas que me comporte cuando mi companero estará acostado a mi lado en la cama? ”
Do you expect me to behave when my mate is lying next to me in bed?
Percy narrowed his eyes. “ Puedo cocinar una buena sopa .”
I make a good soup.
Leaning forward, Santiago kissed Percy’s temple. “Never change, carino .”